How To Make This Fall The Time When You Finally Find Lasting Love

Summer is almost over. Perhaps you’ve been so busy having fun that you’ve not put much time into dating. And now that fall’s close at hand, you realize that lasting love didn’t materialize for you this summer.

And you’re probably still busy with the last of the season activities – that end-of-the-summer trip, enjoying the last few weeks of summer with family and friends.

Maybe you have a child leaving for college. Maybe you’ve planned a trip back home to visit your family.

It’s also true that wherever you may be on your dating journey, fall brings a sense of wanting to settle in. It also brings a desire to have that someone special to cuddle with this winter, to share the holidays and New Year with, and that will become your lasting love.

Many of my clients have found lasting love during the fall. So I thought I’d share with you the recommendations I give to them so you can jumpstart your dating efforts this fall.

1.?????Clear out the bad experiences of the past.

The past is the past and is only useful for learning the lessons we don’t want to repeat. However, ruminating over what happened or pining away for what could’ve been isn’t going to help you find lasting love. It’s time to cleanse yourself of the past to get ready to receive new love!

2.?????Get an image makeover.

Although this is stuff you do on the outside, it will make you feel great. It may be a new hairstyle, or just getting some new clothes that helps you feel wonderful. Do you have appropriate clothes for dating? If not, it’s time to go through your wardrobe and perhaps add some new pieces that will make a great impression. And ladies, consider some natural makeup to bring out your beauty and best features like your eyes and lips!

Karen, a former client of mine, had just broken up with her boyfriend who finally admitted that he didn’t want marriage and a family. Her girlfriend encouraged her to get a new hairdo and she bought a stylish new dress. She felt like a million dollars! And her new look caught the eye of a man at work. He worked in a different department of this large company. They went out and he turned out to be the man that would become her husband! You could say that Karen found lasting love, at least in part, because of her image makeover.

3.?????Get clear about the kind of person you want to meet.

You may think you know who you want to meet. However, after coaching hundreds of singles, many of my clients have a hard time communicating to others the type of person they want to meet. They usually only share superficial information. I often hear things like “a person who has a sense of humor”.

What does that really mean? We all have a different sense of humor.

When I work with my clients to gain clarity about the type of person they want to meet. We drill down into the kind of humor that’s important. And when we do, a sense of humor may actually mean someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously and can laugh at themselves.

It's important to be able to communicate who you are looking for both in your online dating profile and to your social network you’re asking to keep an eye out for anyone they know that they can introduce you to.

4.?????Get new photos and update your online profile.

The months of September and October are very active online. So, you need to ask yourself if your profile reflects your best self. You may want to consider updating your profile and adding new pictures.

And if you’re not attracting high-quality people, you may also want to consider another online dating site or app to widen your pool of appropriate candidates.

(To help you make sure you’re not missing anything, get my Online Dating Checklist at https://motivatedtomarry.lpages.co/mtm-online-checklist/.)

Over 80% of my successfully coupled clients have met through an online dating site.

When Susan, a divorced mom in her late 40s, started coaching in the later part of the summer of 2018, she didn’t believe that she photographed well.

To help her change her belief, I recommended an image consultant to her. The consultant showed her how to update her makeup and did some styling for her too. Then Susan had new photos taken by a local photographer that specializes in online dating photographs.

I then helped her with her profile to make sure it appropriately reflected who she is and who she wanted to attract. Within a month, she met her partner. And they’re still going strong to this day!

5.?????Review your social groups and seek out new ones.

You only have so much time for social activities and where you spend your free time matters. Make sure you’re only going to groups in alignment with your values and interests. Also, these need to be groups within which you’ll feel comfortable.

I recommend my clients pick 3 to 5 groups they can participate in consistently. This way they see the same people and make deeper connections over time.

After we coached together, Kim found an over-60 social group in her city. This group was filled with people who had similar cultural and social interests. She met Ben at a social event held by the group. They started dating, became an exclusive couple, and eventually shared with their mutual friends that they were “an item”!

6.?????Writer out a list of your connectors

When you consider your family and social connections, I’ll tell you what I tell all of my clients. Look for “connectors”. These are people who highly value you and also have a wide net of social connections. They will likely be able to introduce you to at least one person who is also seriously searching.

I have a specific process called “The 30-Second Info-merical” to help my clients communicate the right stuff to their connectors. This process has helped my clients drill down to the essence of what truly matters and makes it easier for their connectors to keep an eye out for them. It can work for you too!

7.?????Join a supportive group of single like yourself.

It’s important to be surrounded by others who are on a journey similar to yours. Your married friends and family don’t know what it’s like to be single and searching. Some of your single friends may be jaded and don’t want to have anything to do with dating because they’re happy being a solo. My clients tell me that they appreciate being part of the Motivated to Marry Community (everyone in the group is looking for lasting love, but not everyone is looking for marriage).

I invite you to join us in the Motivate to Marry Community. There are several ways to participate based on your budget and your time commitment. To learn more, go to?https://motivatedtomarry.com/connect-with-coach-amy/ to explore how the Motivated to Marry Coaching program and community can make the difference for your success in finding lasting love this fall.