Make YOUR Story THEIR Story

Make YOUR Story THEIR Story

"Enough about me. What do you think about me?" - Bette Midler in WINGS

My heart went out to the organizers of a recent online conference. It was clear their opening keynoter was on automatic pilot just going through the motions and was on autopilot, delivering his standard speech.

It was clear he hadn't researched the audience or done his homework. He never mentioned current events, never used any specific examples from the participants' industry, and never "Hooked & Hinged" his content back to us.

What's this about "Hooking & Hinging?"

It's the easiest way to make what we say relevant and relatable to just about everyone in the audience - even if this is a public event and you do not know who's in the room - or they are a diverse group from many different professions.

Many presenters talk about themselves - their struggles, achievements, lessons, advice - without ever making it about the audience. For example:

A well-known college football coach was the keynote speaker at a recent event. He told us how he had taken a losing team and turned them into winners.

He talked about how he transformed the work ethic of the team and described the final game of the season where they beat a bigger, higher-ranked school.

End of story.

I looked around. The audience was politely applauding but I could tell what they were thinking, "Well, good for you. What's that got to do with us?"

It wasn't a two-way presentation, it was a one-way lecture (bordering on arrogance) because he never once suggested how we might apply his lessons to our circumstances.

The thing is, he could have made his message relatable and relevant - to everyone in the room - by hooking and hinging with YOU questions like:

"Have YOU ever been part of a losing team that became winners?

What commitments did YOU and your teammates make to turn things around?

How did it feel when YOU finally succeeded?"

If he had done that, he would have made HIS story OUR story.

Everyone in the audience - whether it was a recent college grad, stay-at-home home, or multi-million dollar CEO - would have been reflecting on how they could apply what they just heard to their personal and professional situations.

From now on when you communicate - whether on the page, stage or online - Hook and Hinge if you want to engage people, from start to finish.

  1. Identify the HOOK (the theme and key words of your main story)
  2. HINGE by identifying three action/reflection options from your message and posing them back to the audience as questions with the word YOU in them.

* Has this ever happened to you?

* How did it impact you?

* What did you resolve to do differently as a result?

3. This turns a one-way monologue into a two-way dialogue because you're shifting the focus from your experience to theirs. People aren't just passively hearing you talk, they're proactively linking and thinking. They're reflecting on when, where and how this happened to them, remembering how it felt, and imagining how they can change things - for good.

You can do this in seconds and it makes your message interactive and meaningful to anyone listening, reading, or watching.

Instead of me, me, me - you just turned it into we, we, we.

People will say, "I felt like you were talking just to me," because you were!

- - -

Want more ways to communicate to connect? Join Sam's Linkedin Course.

Leslie Nydick

The Conflict Strategist? ? Workplace Conflict? It’s Your Turn to Get Unstuck ? Let's Manage Conflict, Together ? Leader in Conflict Management, Negotiation & Communication ? DM for Actionable Tips, Strategies, & Services

2 年

Another outstanding piece of advice and a straightforward process for implementing it. I will always remember the "hook and hinge" because the audience does need to know I am talking to each of them, and and that will connect us. Thank you Sam Horn for sharing your insight and expertise.

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Debra Shrider

Feeling stressed about writing? If you're struggling to express yourself clearly, I can "Put It In Writing" for you: Bios, LinkedIn profiles, web copy/content, letters, policies & procedures, articles, and much more

4 年

Hook and hinge... get them at hello! Love this.

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