How To Make The Best Out Of Mentorship (both mentors & mentees)

When I started my entrepreneurship 10 years ago, I wanted to find a mentor. However, I did not know where to start. There weren't many various communities and alumni groups out there that I could tap into. Right now, mentorship programmes are common, all in efforts to give back to the communities. I applauded such initiatives and having participated in some of the mentorship programmes as a mentor, here are some key things that I have learnt to ensure that both mentor and mentee get the most out of the partnership.

For Mentee

1 . You are in the pilot seat - You set the pace

It is important that you take the lead in setting the goals for the mentor-mentee partnership. SMART goal-setting can be very useful here. Here are some points of reference:

• S - Are your goals clear and specific?
• M - How are your goals measurable?
• A - Are your goals attainable within the given time duration?
• R - How are your goals relevant to your situation?
• T - When are we looking to achieve these goals?

Example:

I know that some mentees look for mentors because they are not sure what they want, hence, the goal can be as simple as, "Gaining clarity on the next step".

2. Take ownership - Always be prepared

Engaging with a mentor does not mean that you outsource your success to your mentor.

Following on the previous example:

Being prepared could mean:

• Sharing with your mentor your journey
• Sharing with your mentor what you have done so far to gain self-clarity
• Coming to the session with insightful questions
• Acting on the suggestions and evaluating with the mentor thereafter

3. An attitude of gratitude - Noone owes you anything

From what I am aware of, most mentors are volunteering their time and expertise, they too, are humans experiencing everything that a human possibly could face. Hence,

be kind, be communicative.

If you do not achieve what you have set out to achieve, instead of blaming someone else, start by doing a thorough self-reflection. Be mindful that there is no need for shaming and justifying, we can just move forward with newfound knowledge on how can we be better!

For Mentor

1. You are in the co-pilot seat - You provide the support

I think it can be tough to balance between "being supportive" and "being supportive of the right things that will lead to the desired outcomes". It can also be tough to balance between "being supportive" and "giving tough love".

I have come to acceptance that it is NOT ABOUT ME, and therefore, my desires do not matter.

Hence, instead of assuming, I opt to ask clarifying questions, such as:

• How do you best feel supported?
• Can you share with me why is setting this goal important to you?
• You have mentioned that ... have you considered ... instead?

2. It is not your stage - Your personal experience may not always be relevant

I think it is so critical for mentors to be relevant to the needs of today's world. I am not diminishing anyone's experience, however, I think it is important to draw relevance from our experience to the situation. There will always be fundamental elements that will not change, share those!

We don't necessarily need to share our entire lifetime of stories because it may confuse the listener.

Remember that the session is not your stage.

If you ever want to share, do remember to share the point of the story just so that you know that the mentee is drawing the conclusion you intended to. Alternatively, learn to be a better storyteller, as mentors, we are also constantly learning.

3. Be kind - Your words have power

I have mentees who came to me because they were so upset and demoralised from other mentoring sessions. We are here to support the mentees, while we are not in the business of providing false hope, we are definitely here to facilitate positive change.

Truth can be told in many ways.

Becoming Irreplaceable aims to empower fellow professionals to build sustainable and meaningful careers, this is definitely one way for us to increase our own happiness index! It is really about taking the control back.