How to Maintain Strong Friend Groups (Part 1)

Some friend groups fizzle out—here’s how to make sure the great ones don’t.

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Today at a glance:

• Series: Creating stronger friend groups (Part 1)
• Topic: Why friend groups may fizzle out
• Devin's Finds: ??, ??, ??
• Commitments: ??

Shared experience is a powerful way to establish a friend group. If you think about any of the friend groups you’re in, there is probably some common thread that connects you all—a classroom, workplace, team, hobby, or other shared interest.

It's why one of my close friend groups was formed in the first month of college. But it wasn't in the classroom, it was the month before classes started when the soccer, football, and volleyball players reported to campus for pre-season training.

Sure, we all were creating bonds with the actual teammates we had, but there was a unique shared experience taking place for the incoming freshmen across all the sports teams. It was our first time living away from home and we needed to learn to balance a demanding schedule of school, sports, travel, and fun. Since our schedules lined up so well, we ended up spending most of our time together outside of games—studying in the library, playing drinking games on our off days, nursing injuries in the training room, anywhere really.

It created a special group dynamic for about 20 of us across these sports. Fast forward 10 years, two of the people in that friend group are getting married and we just got back from a joint bachelor / bachelorette party to celebrate them.

Over the last decade, we've been lucky to experience countless group trips, belly laughs, happy moments, supporting through the tough moments, and always a whole lot of love.

Reflecting on my experience with this friend group versus others that have faded made me consider why some friend groups last while others fizzle out.

Why Friend Groups Fizzle Out

When I think about a group of friends, I think about two dynamics:

1. The relationship each member has to the group
2. The relationships you have with each member of the group

The first dynamic is what the big group chat revolves around. It's less about 1:1 relationships and more about...

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Best of luck building,

Devin