How to Maintain Motivation When You Want to Quit

When facing obstacles, I'm often reminded of a profound finding I learned during the research for my newest book,?Big Goals . In the 1960s, research known as "Learned Helplessness" suggested that individuals tended to surrender when subjected to repeated shocks. However, more recent research by Marty Seligman and Steven Maier - the initial academics behind the 1960’s studies - overturned their original notion. They now conclude that when we actively resist helplessness, we cultivate a sense of mastery. This process activates a "hope circuit" in our brains, which strengthens with each instance of perseverance.? But how do we do that? It sounds so easy, but like everyone else, I have had to rely on evidence-based tips to keep me focused when I’m discouraged about my progress.

My?BRIDGE?methodology breaks down goal setting and goal pursuit into six steps, so here’s a tip from each part of the approach:

Brainstorming My best brainstorming breakthroughs have come when I have asked myself out of the box questions that prompt counterintuitive thinking. Here are a few of my favorites:?“What if it was easy to get this done? What would be different?”And?“If I only had one week to get this done, what steps could I eliminate and still succeed?”?

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Relationships I have a few people on speed dial who always support me, and whose ideas have given me a breakthrough when I needed a fresh angle, or story that will help me make my case with more panache. Research shows that having the right support network is crucial, and when you have it, it can make all the difference in resilience.?Who can you call to get a different perspective on whatever challenge you’re facing?

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Investments Whenever I’m writing a book, or I’m on a particularly difficult time schedule to get something done, I always need to invest time and money in getting to early morning swim practices, meeting my trainer twice a week, and getting Thai massage. If any one of those things is eliminated from my schedule, I make less progress and feel more drained.?Is something missing from your day-to-day activities that would aid your body, mind or soul in getting something done?

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Decision-Making I have a client who was negotiating the merger of two technology companies when she noticed a decision-making pattern that wasn’t serving her well. When my client had an immediate deadline to meet because of investor demands, she solved thorny issues with her lawyers, and without touching base with her chief innovation officer, Fiona. Fiona’s deep knowledge of her company and different perspective always gave her better insights. She made sure that getting Fiona’s feedback was included if she had something big at stake.?Chart your own decision-making processes with curiosity; is there a missing ingredient that you can add back that would help you maintain positive forward progress?

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Grit Stupid grit is the persistent behavior that yields more negatives than positives because you are not reading the signs that you need to change direction. If you are stuck and not making progress with a big goal, pause and ask for insight from someone who has your back.?Would a different approach to your goal add more curiosity and fun to achieving success?

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Excellence Make sure that you have a measurable outcome that has steps you can look at as you make progress.?You might have to break the goal down into smaller steps to have more mastery experiences that keep you motivated and engaged.

By following the BRIDGE methodology, we gain practical strategies to stay on course—whether through creative brainstorming, drawing on our support networks, making strategic investments in self-care, refining our decision-making, knowing when to adjust our grit, or setting measurable steps toward excellence.

Each step reinforces our "hope circuit" and builds resilience, so that even when the going gets tough, we’re equipped to keep going. Remember, lasting progress is built?one?deliberate?step at a time.

To see examples of successful outcomes that demonstrate how the principles of the BRIDGE methodology can be applied in a step-by-step approach for positive results to achieve big goals, check out my?case studies!