How to love ........

"Loving someone truly is seeing past the flaws and imperfections, peering into the core of who they are—beyond their humanness. Those closest to us—our lovers, partners, and dearest ones—often manage to touch the tender spots within us that we thought were hidden and perhaps even healed. The ones who know our souls best also seem to hold the keys to our triggers, making us flinch or lash out in moments of raw emotion. And yet, this isn’t a misfortune but a profound opportunity.

We tend to look outward, see the button-presser as the problem, and believe our discomfort will ease if they only change. But in truth, these individuals come into our lives as mirrors, reflecting back to the places where we are not yet free. They reveal the baggage we carry, the unresolved wounds that cling to the walls of our hearts, begging to be acknowledged and seen. They show us the places where we are still trapped in our own stories. When we understand that relationships aren’t meant solely to bring us happiness but to peel back the layers of illusion, we step into the true work of love.

This sacred dynamic within relationships becomes a powerful spiritual practice in self-observation and self-responsibility. We begin to see that our reactions aren’t caused by another’s behavior but by our inner landscape, our unhealed parts yearning for liberation. Happiness is not the gift we receive from another but the grace we cultivate. Our partners are not meant to heal us; they are meant to illuminate the places where we must heal ourselves, to show us where we have yet to surrender to the love that resides within.

And so, we unpack. We unravel the layers of programming, the patterns of pain we’ve carried from the past. We see that as long as we defend our wounds and cling to our conditioning, we remain prisoners of the mind and emotion, reacting instead of living in the embrace of pure presence. The peace we seek lies not in controlling or keeping others from disappointing us but in the liberation of the true lover within—untouched by reaction, unshaken by the waves of life's storms.

To see past the humanness of another does not mean that we turn a blind eye to unconscious or hurtful behavior, nor that we allow ourselves to be mistreated. It means we take full responsibility for our reactions, recognizing that the journey is not about changing others but releasing our own judgments and the punishments we inflict upon them for not meeting our expectations. In this place of self-accountability, we begin to see others through the lens of compassion, understanding that they, too, are navigating their own wounds and shadows.

When we deeply grasp this truth, we reach a radical acceptance. We accept others as they are, knowing that their imperfections are merely reflections of the human experience we all share. And in this acceptance, a truer, deeper love is born—one that is not bound by conditions or demands but flows naturally from a heart that knows itself. This is the love that sees beyond, embraces without needing to hold, and offers freely, like a river flowing toward the sea."

Credit to Katie Kamara?

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