How the "Look at Me" Mentality is Finally On the Way Out

It has been an incredibly busy month. A return to in person events and speaking engagements has me both pumped for the future and grateful we all made it out of this.

But something happened on the way to shaking hands again. Many of us seem to want to help and collaborate and work together and frankly, it's glorious.

As a media company, we are seeing more and more requests for consulting on top of the filming and production we do; but not just how to look and act on camera or to overcome the fear of the lens. We are also getting asked to teach how to not come across as self indulgent or arrogant, a 'know it all' or "look at me". Those that ask us this, give us countless examples in the industry and outside of it of who they DON'T want to be like and you would be shocked how many of those names most would think are industry "gurus".

Do you know what this means? People are finally starting to get it. Leveraging each other, our thoughts, our knowledge, our opinions, our viewpoints will end in far bigger success for all and even a better world to live in. We are finally realizing the collective is far better than the one. At least, we've started.

Truthfully, this was coming out about halfway through the pandemic when we were first started researching how best to start BHB Rich Media our video production arm for the housing industry. Time and again, call and Zoom meeting after call and Zoom meeting, we were hearing "everyone just focuses on themselves. Their social advice videos speak at you about how they are right, you've been wrong all along, or their view on the world will change YOUR life. Little do they know, I am just rolling my eyes".

Sound familiar?

Every industry has it. The executive trying to be the guru, the one who knows it all and we should all listen. Frankly, many have done a great job of building a following of pions and ass kissers that would make even the teachers pet gag. But they have also alienated the people they should be talking to and working to help most.

Shameless plug aside, our company BHB stands for Brokers Helping Brokers. We live it every day. The content on our Netflix style platform for the housing industry BHBTV is specifically designed to encourage top performers to create content that helps others in the industry experience similar success and vice versa. The rub, lies in the vice versa here.

That's the change. We are shifting (and very quickly) to an "I'll give to you what I know and you give to me what you know and we'll succeed together" culture, and I love it. It has needed to be this way for ages.

Fading away are the gurus in our industries, making 40 videos a day, talking at you about what you must do to succeed while they sit at a Martini bar, EV vehicle charging outside. Get over yourself...because we all are.

The magic that I truly believe is coming is not just collaborative leadership, but collaboration as a whole to get things done with epic quality rather than with someone's single view that has to be changed later because, surprise, it missed out on half the targeted audience because we all listened to the one person who has "done this for years".

Examples are turning up all around you: Pharma companies collaborating to find a vaccine to a pandemic causing virus in less than year being a large example. Smaller examples like Telus in Canada, a large corporation starting small business grants and sharing the wealth. To simple, non monetary social posts giving advice, but then asking followers to comment with their advice back.

Elections are failing because politicians have fallen in to the look at me mentality. Only ever posting their achievements on socials and almost never what they plan to do with you going forward. The apathy in the electorate because of it is astounding. Ontario, Canada just had its most uneventful, boring election campaign in decades because nothing and no one stood out and frankly no one felt heard. No one felt anyone was working together.

Sit up and take note folks. This is where we are going. Yes, you do need to be seen, and yes video is the way in, but what you say and do in that video is just as important, if not more.

"Here's an idea and this is why I think it might help you succeed" --> Yes.

"Leaders are born to lead. So happy to pick up this Tesla on the back of my success today. Couldn't have done it without the team. Got here by being on the team not ordering the team around...<<obligatory caveman with the boss pulling from the front meme>> Like and follow and hit that bell to get notified when I might say something else all about me" --> No.

The second example, we are happy to say, is beginning to fade while those that want to collaborate and work together for sustained success are beginning to rise.

"Look at me" is beginning to transition into "Look at all of us, how can we help you do it to?"

What ideas do you have to further nurture this transition? Have you seen this too?

Let's collectively converse about this.