How To Look For A Job (Excerpt)

Stay Positive

This Chapter Brought To You By Lexapro*!

There were days when I jumped out of bed to send emails, write cover letters, and fill out applications. I’d spend some time online and then I’d get to work on a project (like this book) to stay busy.

There were also days when I laid in bed until noon, ate cereal for lunch, and stared intently at the little number at the top of my inbox, mashing the refresh button and waiting for a response from someone. Anyone. Please.

There were ups and downs, days when I showered and days when I didn’t. That’s ok, I think. The down days are going to happen and they’re probably going to be pretty frustrating. Try to roll with it. Wash some dishes by hand, binge watch a funny TV show, and give yourself a break every once in a while.

Then get right back to the hunt.

Sometimes that can be difficult. It got to the point recently where I actually needed reminders to steer myself back to work. I needed more than just, “hey, you should get back to the job hunting stuff,” though. Low-key nagging wasn’t going to do it. I knew I’d have excuses lined up, so I needed a way to call out my own bullshit.

I came up with a little app I called “Are You Being Productive?” I built it out and then set up shortcuts on my phone to notify me at certain points of the day to make sure I was still on task. Essentially, if I selected “no, I’m not being productive right now,” the goal was to figure out why I wasn’t being productive and then remind myself that I always feel better after I’ve accomplished something. It made it a lot easier to turn off Netflix, put my phone all the way on the other side of the room, and sit back down at my desk.

Try it out at AreYouBeingProductive.com, or make one yourself. Really, all you need to do is create a flow chart with the excuses you typically tell yourself and then counter those with reasons not to let yourself off the hook.

The Emotional Swings

Honestly, I never figured this one out. And I don’t think there’s really an answer, other than, be aware that there are a lot of ups and downs throughout the process.

?? A recruiter from a company I just applied at looked at my LinkedIn profile!

?? It’s been 4 hours and I haven’t heard from that recruiter yet!

?? An encouraging email from ZipRecruiter saying my application has been viewed several times!

?? It’s been 2 days and nobody has gotten back to me, despite viewing my application several times!

?? My unemployment benefit application has been approved!

?? I forgot to sign up for the useless online job board attached to my UEB so they’ve been stopped!

?? Just booked an interview for a job that seems super promising! Well, I don’t think I did very well on that one!

?? Just booked an interview for a job that seems super promising! Well, I don’t think I want to work for those people!

?? Just booked an interview for a job that seems super promising!

?? Well, they just postponed for later in the week. Guess I’ll just live with this knot in my stomach until then!

?? Just booked an interview for a job that seems super promising!

?? Well, that’s over, and frankly, I don’t have a clue whether they loved me or hated me!

Those are examples off the top of my head when I felt either great or terrible during the process, and they often came out of nowhere. There were days when I was exhausted and numb when I went to bed and I didn’t even know why. I’d have to think for a little bit to realize, “oh, that call took a lot out of me.” The emails you write and rewrite eight times before hitting send. The calendar invites you agonize over (should I try to talk to this person during lunch, when I’m not interrupting their work? Or is it an intrusion to want to talk during their personal time? They’re probably busy anyway, I should wait until next week. But a three-day weekend is coming up and they’ll be busy trying to wrap things up in a short week. So maybe I’ll just see if they want to talk around lunchtime. Or is that an intrusion…). It’s exhausting! And because it’s not racquetball or something, it doesn’t seem like it should be all that tiring.

On the other side, you’d think getting called back for an interview, which is just about the best news you can get these days, would give you energy for days! And it does, sometimes, but that feeling goes away and then what?

I don’t know what the answer is, and I wasn’t particularly good at it when I was going through it, but even just preparing yourself for the fact that a day might set you up on a rollercoaster is a pretty good start. The better you get at recognizing when a situation is about to be draining or might give you a pretty good high that you’ll have to come down from, the better you get at reminding yourself that it won’t last. The highs and the lows both go away, and if you see them coming, you can tell yourself, this isn’t going to last, let’s just get to the next thing on the list. And you keep moving forward at whatever pace you need to.

Wake Up In The Morning

Get into a routine:

-Brush your teeth

-Take a shower

-Put on some clothes

Brush your teeth. I know, this sounds like a no-brainer, but my daily routine absolutely went to shit without a job. Some days I’d shower in the morning, some days I’d shower in the afternoon, a lot of days I just wouldn’t shower. And there were days when I didn’t even brush my teeth. I know!

I always felt better on days I cleaned up and got dressed.

Work Clothes

Speaking of getting dressed, tell me if this is weird: I have work clothes and weekend clothes, just like everyone else. Ya know, button downs for the office, old concert t-shirts from college for just about anywhere that’s not the office. I have enough work clothes that I can go two to three weeks without repeating, but wearing work clothes on a weekend or a day off feels like it throws the balance off. “Don’t wear that now, you want to be able to wear it later, when you need it.” Right?

I’m not the only one with that voice in my head, am I? (I can’t hear you disagree, so I’ll assume you’re enthusiastically nodding your head, like, “I experience the same thing!” so I’ll go on.)

Bottom line is, I get this feeling on non-work days that I can’t open certain drawers of my dresser because the clothes in them are “reserved.” Except, when you lose your job, every day becomes a “non-work” day. So I was reaching for these “Summer Tour 2001” (Tragically Hip) or 2002’s Freezestyle Tour (Galactic) tees every day.

For weeks, I hesitated opening those drawers: these are reserved. For going to work.

The thing about about work clothes is they have the same effect as a uniform: you put them on and you get a feeling of “I have a job to do.” At least, I do.

Even though I was unemployed, not leaving the house, and still wearing slippers, there were days when I needed to put on work clothes because I still had a job to do.

Maybe that’s just me, but if you’re feeling it, too, fight through it. You have a job to do and it’s an important one. So put on your uniform and keep going to work.

Dealing With Rejection — Because You Won’t Win Them All

Back before I was let go from my job, when I was flailing at anything that sounded like a remotely interesting lifeboat, I had an interview with another agency. The initial call with the recruiter was great and I was feeling good. My next call was with the hiring manager. I stumbled out of the gate but managed to recover and actually had what felt like a great conversation.

Then I got to the head of the agency, who took the call from his car on the way into the office (never a good sign). We talked, he seemed distracted, I felt like I was blowing it.

You ever have a conversation with someone and it seems like they already have a couple other things on their mind? He asked me the exact same questions as the hiring manager on the previous call. I hadn’t reflected at all on why my answers fell flat before, I had just been happy to make it through to the next round in one piece. On this call, like some out-of-body experience, I watched myself give the exact same answers again (also not a great sign). Those, it turned out, were still not great answers. Finally, almost mercifully, he arrived at the office. “The fire alarm is going off,” he told me. “I have to deal with this.”

I honestly don’t know if that was true or just an excuse to end the call, but it doesn’t really matter. It was the last sign I needed that this maybe wasn’t going to happen.

Still, a couple months later, I emailed the hiring manager again. “Hey, thought we had a productive conversation and even though I clearly wasn’t a fit for that role, I wanted to send my new portfolio over and see if you have any feedback for me.” He wrote back and asked if I wanted to meet for lunch. Another fun conversation and a few months later, a freelance project came up and then, a few weeks after that, another job opened up and was I interested? I had already started my new job, but it was nice to be on someone’s list.

You’re going to miss a lot more than you hit, but being passed over for one position doesn’t necessarily mean it’s over for you. Take it gracefully and always try to keep a foot in the door because you never know what’s going to come up later.

Refill Your Cup

An interview that doesn’t go well can throw you off. So can a frustrating experience with a website or Word crashing just after you’ve written the new summary section on your resume that you’re sure is going to work. Or maybe you’re having trouble focusing because you had a fight with your partner.

Or maybe you’re just feeling drained from reading a lot of job descriptions and not much else.

From time to time, you have to recharge. Take a break, clear your head, and allow yourself to be distracted. I think it helps when you’re feeling off-balance to have some mindless options you can crash on the couch with. Or books that inspire you. Take a trip down a Wikipedia rabbit hole and learn something new before resurfacing. Anything that helps you start fresh. I like re-watching 30 Rock or digging into a good book (I’d recommend Curious, by Ian Leslie).

In Case Of Emergency, Break Glass

You know what’s a surefire way to have a good day?

Find a Tom Petty greatest hits playlist. Enjoy the breadth of his catalog, revel in the realization that you know all the words to *a ton* of his songs without even thinking about it, and then just let the greatness that is Southern Accent was over you.

Work-Life Balance…

Should exist when you’re looking for work, too. It’s ok to call it quits for the night and clear your head a bit. Go on dates. Hang out with friends. Get your hair cut.

COVID NOTE: Yeah, you can’t really do any of those things anymore. So, I guess, binge some Netflix (or! I know not a ton of people have Apple TV+ but check out Ted Lasso, if you do. Two thumbs up!), do puzzles in your kitchen, or take a relaxing walk around the block or something.

You don’t have to constantly be eating the keyboard and staring at the holes in your resume.

Working From Home

I used to not like working from home. I didn’t like those two sides of my life occupying the same space, especially when I’d look at my living room couch and have flashbacks to the time I was sitting there at two in the morning fixing Excel spreadsheets for an e-commerce site, or the time I stayed home sick in bed but worked the entire sniffly, dreary time and still got yelled at by a client — and then my boss — for not being responsive enough. So get out of the house. Go! You can’t stay cooped up away from people all the time, it’s draining.

I like coffee shops. The problem with coffee shops is, the coffee’s expensive, the tables are crowded, and the WiFi tends to be spotty.

I like my local library better. It’s quiet, comfortable, has plenty of outlets, the wifi is great, and it’s harder to get caught up in the people watching. Everything I like about the coffee shop plus books for when you need a break.

COVID NOTE: Unfortunately, in 2021, you’re not going to be able to 43

work in public for a while. Still, make sure you’re doing something to get out of the house. I wasn’t going anywhere, even outside, so my wife recommended that I start taking Vitamin D. Only later did I find out the hard way that too much Vitamin D can cause kidney stones.

Don’t get kidney stones. Go outside once in a while.

Some WFH Tips

If you have to WFH when you’re quarantining, you know what’s almost as good as having a desk to work at? A lap desk and a comfy chair. Ikea sells a super cheap lapdesk that I’m writing this on right now. And I’m sitting in a rocking chair. It’s great. Desks are overrated.

Another WFH tip: Don’t turn on the TV. This is especially hard if it’s constantly staring at you because that’s the only place you can work. Turn on music instead. I prefer movie scores when I work. I’ve got a pretty good Pandora station I’ve been curating for a while now. There’s really nothing like the Band of Brothers Theme leading into the Apollo 13 Launch to make you want to run through a wall to finish whatever you’re working on.

*I’m kidding, this chapter is not sponsored by Lexapro (although, I wouldn’t say no if they wanted to make me an offer! Or anyone else who doesn’t violate any non-compete clauses I’ve signed, for that matter — let’s talk, my email’s at the end!). I did take Lexapro for about a year when things got real bad with my last job. And it worked for me. As my doctor told me, “this is a copacetic, which means it will help you cope, but it’s not a ‘happy drug:’ it won’t just automatically make you happy.” I’m not recommending anything for anyone, but talk to you doctor if you think it might help. And if you’re timid or hesitant to begin the conversation, another thing my doctor mentioned might help: a lot of his patients have been talking to him about anxiety and depression throughout the pandemic and asking what he can do to help with it. It’s not just me, or you, or people who have lost their jobs, or people who are “going through something.”

How To Look For A Job

Losing your job is tough enough. Losing it during a pandemic can put you at the bottom of a hole you feel like you can’t dig out of. I feel pretty fortunate to have gone through it last year and come out on the other side, so I wrote down everything I learned about staying motivated, focused, and positive, and a few other tips about surviving the process.

Find out more at howtodostuff.co.

About The Author

Pete Shelly is a writer, husband, and father who’s figuring it out as he goes and is relatively ok with that. He currently has a job but he didn’t for a little while there at the height of a global pandemic. It’s not something he wants to go through again and he considers himself fortunate to have landed on his feet. Because so many others are in a similar situation, and because he has no other demonstrable skills, this book felt like the best way to make a contribution.

How To Do Stuff is a series he created in 2012. The original book has been downloaded over 10,000 times.

Find out more at pshly.me