How to look forward to the positives during lockdown, not backwards to the stress...

So we're nearing the end of week two in lockdown - how are you feeling? I'm sure it has been, is, and will continue to be one hell of an emotional rollercoaster for the foreseeable future. If you're lucky enough to be part of a family unit where everyone's health remains in tact, then you gained a massive bonus this week. Yes, we've certainly all lost our security, control of our lives and many of our choices. Most of us have lost out financially in some way, and many face the loss of entire businesses. More worryingly, this is only the beginning. So, how on earth are we really expected to carry on and find the strength to put new strategies in place, when our minds are full of stress hormones? We're constantly battling procrastination, lethargy, the onslaught of multi-tasking normal family tasks, mixed in with home schooling and the annoyance of those of whom are apparently coping just fine because they incessantly post on social media about just how wonderfully they're coping - showcasing pictures of family contentment and beautifully perfect home baked goods!

Its ridiculously hard to maintain your self worth throughout all of this isn't it? If you're not battling practicalities, there's the guilt. Harder for working mums possibly...but then there's the working dads who need to listen to the working mums, so as to make sure that their own relationship keeps in tact and don't negatively impact the children. Oh and then there's the need to make the time to keep connected right? Oh yes, and then there's the odd outlier like Joe Wickes who's been genius enough to capitalise on the situation and help several million kids each week keep fit in their living rooms. A genuine top guy who's worked hard to put himself in the right place at the right time BUT maybe there's a little part of some of us (or a big part) that feels even more guilt - because surely if he can do it...we should be able to as well! More stress to deal with ....and before we know it we're beating ourselves up even more!

Ultimately, we're all in a complete and utterly intense cauldron of change - and it isn't stopping anytime soon. So, its pretty tough to have the mental strength and resilience to be able to look forward with positivity when all you feel like doing first thing when you wake up each morning is to reach for the phone and hope that somehow, your chosen news app has some positive news to offer. Inevitably at the moment it doesn't. Isn't it amazing how quickly your mind becomes flooded with the sheer number of gargantuan challenges that lie ahead just to get you through the next day....and before you know it your trapped in that spiral of negativity!

So whats the alternative? How do some people wake up and manage to face the day with a spring in their step? How do they manage to keep looking forward to success? How have some of us learned to re-wire our thought processes to be able to mainly focus on the positives? Let's face it, we know that these are the people that will make good of the current situation and find ways to do good for the world, even in times of adversity....so maybe there's a bit of envy too?

Firstly, make a daily plan. Yes, daily is fine. None of us really have the capacity or mental strength to be thinking very far ahead right now - unless you're someone who's managed to get themselves focussed into an upward spiral of success and have gotten into 'flow'. A plan means giving yourself boundaries...and boundaries mean giving yourself opportunities to split your day into small controllable parts. When you gain control in small parts, you have a better chance of success, simple. When you succeed at something small, it spirals you upward and makes you feel good. When you feel good, you're more positive, you're proactive and you find opportunity. Also, remember to reward yourself when you get a small 'win'. I always remember an amazing leader telling me to 'do a smaller number of things better'. So true - taking on too much in times of stress is hugely unfair on your already stressed mind and body.

Secondly, resist the urge to start your day by looking at the news on your phone! Its bad enough being someone who reaches for their first shot of email before they reach for their first shot of coffee, let alone looking at negative COVID news. Why though, its important right? Yes, but its so much better to be in control of when you read it and what you read! Set a daily time slots for when you read or watch the news. There's no point in clicking on endless links that feed you endless reams of the very stuff they know you focus on. Before you know it, you're full of dread and fear and the day already feels darker. Instead, challenge yourself go downstairs, make breakfast, get yourself ready for the day and think of three good things you have to be grateful for. Hey, its spring in the UK after all and we've got 20 degrees C to look forward to at the weekend! Oh, and also......turn those damn news notifications off!

Thirdly, maybe dial down some parts of your social media interaction? Sure, make use of Zoom, WhatsApp, Skype etc to connect more with loved ones, but really, do you need to keep clicking into Facebook to see how the worlds best parent is finding it 'oh so wonderful' to be spending so many precious moments with their darling babies. Yes , we can all see family benefits of lockdown, but we don't all need to be showcasing them to the world right? Remember, the more you visit their page, the more you'll be shown those amazing people and their apparently perfect lives!

So, aim to set up your day with positive energy rather than negative. Remember, the more little things you achieve, the better you'll feel....and to give yourself the best chance of success, aim to do a smaller number of things well. Vary your stuff too - today i broke up my day by painting two very small radiator pipes during lunch, exciting...not - but a small win! Small wins release endorphins and endorphins build immunity. After all, immunity is king in today's world!