How long can you be alone for? (A silent retreat attempt)

Dear humans,?

Be honest, how much time do you spend avoiding yourself?

Do you spend time by yourself??

Like, alone-alone.?

No people. No streaming. No WhatsApp. No social media.

Truly alone.?

Now, for context, if you have been the victim of one of my monologues over the past seven months, you’ll be expecting me to begin my ‘woo-woo’ indoctrination about silent meditation retreats in Nepal right about now…

Happy to report that you are incorrect (I know who you are, haters…)?

But since I had been practically podcasting my views on the importance of self-talk and how we speak to ourselves when there is no dopamine hits around, I thought I should probably test it out before I book my ticket to Kathmandu.?

Things that got the chop as I trekked to a little town in north holland:?

• Whatsapp?
• Instagram?
• LinkedIn?
• Emails?
• Facebook (ashamed I still have this TBH)?
• Calendar alerts?

All by myself, as Celine would say.?

Then suddenly I was standing in the middle of a forest, with birds chirping, leaves rustling as the wind pushed them majestically to the ground and even a family of deer that grazed in front of me (most surprised about this (!) thought only Africa had wild roaming animals ;))?

It took me 30 minutes to be completely, and irrevocably sick of my inner dialogue. My god, my thoughts could not shut up(!).?

I sat to meditate to quiet them down but became instantly ravenous so naturally, I consumed all the food in the house which was meant to last four days, but whatever.

I then thought to journal about the rolling walrus I was now to become but got bored of the thoughts I had regarding the wildlife similarities I seemed to start resembling.

Anyway, the point of this entire story (I have one I swear) is that on the second day, I got creative. Like Steve Jobs on LSD creative.?

Which leads to me this newsletter.?

Take a moment to hear yourself think.

When there is no dopamine hit around you and the boredom of your own inner voice annoys you, you will start unblocking yourself from what you feel keeps you stuck.?

You don’t need to go on silent retreats in Nepal (still doing it and will convince you later), or quit your job or become reclusive, but you need at least an hour a day where digital prongs do not ping you.?

Our connectedness is destroying our neural pathways.

We consume so much that we leave little time to create. And when we create do we connect to the universe of our thoughts and purpose??

Our inner dialogue is loudest when we do not sit still to listen to her.?

When you need a dopamine detox, ask yourself if you created more than you consumed today, and go from there.?

Remember, it is only when we go within that we can live fully without.?

Happy detoxing,?

Tarina

Okay, we consume a lot weekly, so we want to share some of the videos, podcasts and books (and other human stuff) we’re finding really meaningful.?

Podcasts?

Diary of a CEO with Steven Bartlett: Escaping a lifetime of anxiety, addiction & finding love with Russel Brand?

• I am obsessed with Steven Bartlett, he has the most captivating way to engage his guests and as a past journalist, he is who you would want to interview anyone. He brings out the core of someone’s story.
• In this interview, Russel Brand (love him or hate him) brings with him his entire spiritual self talking about how our wounds shape us and how his addiction was the source of his salvation. A really enthralling episode.?

Jullian on Love: Red flags: what you must know AND talk about before you commit to someone?

• Other than the fact that my therapist recommended this episode to me (I felt very attacked…) It was a great listen regarding the foundations of relationships.
• There really were a lot of relationship takeaways that could inform you to make better, healthier decisions about your partners - and self.??

Books / Articles / Videos / Songs

Glucose Revolution: The Life-Changing Power of Balancing Your Blood Sugar by Jessie Inchauspe

• I’m obsessively (and obnoxiously) into biohacking (since about two minutes ago) and started reading this and following the author on Instagram (@glucosegoddess) and it’s been pretty life-changing. The impact our food and nutrients have on our brains and ability to function is pretty scary when you know what is going on. A really good book which uncomplicates the complicated.?

Two songs I am LOVING?

• Overflow by Emitt Fenn
• Coraline by M?neskin

Theories I am super into at the moment:?

Synchronicity:?

• A concept introduced by Carl Jung, refers to seemingly random events that hold a significant personal meaning, creating a connection beyond mere chance. These are meaningful coincidences where the connected events are not causally related.
• For instance, you're thinking about an old friend and they unexpectedly call or cross your path, that's seen as synchronicity. Despite the lack of a cause-effect relationship, these coincidences feel deeply meaningful and significant to the individual experiencing them.

The Four Noble Truths

The foundational principles of Buddhism, formulated by Buddha himself. They are:

• The Truth of Suffering (Dukkha): Life, in its various forms, is filled with suffering, dissatisfaction, or discomfort. This includes physical and mental pain, aging, death, unfulfilled desires, and separation from what we like or association with what we dislike.
• The Truth of the Origin of Suffering (Samudaya): The origin or cause of this suffering is primarily attachment or desire (Tanha). This includes desire for sensual pleasure, desire for existence, and desire for non-existence.
• The Truth of the Cessation of Suffering (Nirodha): Suffering can end. The cessation of suffering is achieved through the complete letting go of desire or attachment, leading to a state of liberation (Nirvana).
• The Truth of the Path Leading to the Cessation of Suffering (Magga): The way to end suffering is by following the Noble Eightfold Path, which is a practical guideline to ethical and mental development with the goal of freeing individuals from attachments and delusions, and leading to understanding, peace, and wisdom.

Shinto:?

• Shinto is an indigenous religion of Japan that venerates natural deities known as "kami". It is characterized by its emphasis on harmony with nature and the universe, respect for ancestry and traditions, and belief in the sacredness of the natural world.
• Central to Shinto is the concept of purity and the performance of rituals, including festivals, offerings, and dances, to honour and appease the kami. It encourages morality, sincerity, and a reverential attitude towards life, nature, and the divine.