How Living In Alignment Can Transform Your Relationships
Lancey Knebel
Founder, Be Well Studios | Guiding men and women to reclaim their power and dignity in relationships since 2019
"What you are seeking is seeking you." - Clarissa Pinkola Estés
Introduction: Rediscovering Your Authentic Self
In a world that constantly pulls us in every direction, it’s easy to lose touch with who we really are. The noise of societal expectations, coupled with our own inner critic, can keep us stuck in roles that feel suffocating. Living in alignment with your authentic self isn’t just about finding peace; it’s about transforming your life and the way you connect with others.
For years, I lived according to what others expected of me. I was the over-giver, the fixer, the one who made sure everyone else was okay. But beneath it all, I felt disconnected—from my own needs, from my purpose, and from the people I loved the most. The turning point came when I asked myself, "What would my life look like if I stopped trying to be who everyone else needed and started being true to me?"
Alignment Starts Within
Living in alignment begins with the courage to look inward. It’s about recognizing the stories we’ve been told—and the ones we tell ourselves—that keep us from showing up authentically. For me, it meant breaking free from the belief that my worth was tied to how much I could give or achieve for others.
When I began practicing radical self-care—not the surface-level kind, but the kind that said, “I’m worthy of my own love and attention,” everything started to shift. I stopped betraying myself for the sake of others’ comfort. And you know what happened? My relationships became deeper and more fulfilling.
When you live in alignment, you set the tone for how others engage with you. Your energy becomes a reflection of your truth, and that’s magnetic.
Research supports this idea: A survey by the American Institute of Stress found that 83% of workers feel stressed at work, often due to unclear expectations and lack of boundaries. By setting personal boundaries, we not only reduce stress but also create healthier environments that foster connection (source).
The Transformative Power of Boundaries
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is this: Boundaries are not walls. They’re bridges to healthier relationships. Setting boundaries isn’t about keeping people out; it’s about showing them where the door is and inviting them to step through with respect.
Take Oprah Winfrey. She’s someone I deeply admire, not just for her success but for her unwavering commitment to living a life aligned with her values. Oprah once said, "You have to know what sparks the light in you so that you, in your own way, can illuminate the world." For her, saying no to what doesn’t serve her is a non-negotiable act of self-love. That kind of clarity inspires me, and it’s something I share with my clients as they navigate their own journey.
Rebuilding Relationships from the Inside Out
When I started living in alignment, my relationships changed—and not just on the surface. I began to repair the connection with my sister, a relationship I thought was beyond saving. I started showing up for my adult sons, not as the mom who always had to have the answers, but as a woman willing to listen and love without judgment.
Authenticity is contagious. When you show up as your true self, you give others permission to do the same. The relationships that matter grow stronger, and those that no longer serve you naturally fade away.
This is backed by research: The Gottman Institute found that couples who practice authenticity and emotional attunement report 47% higher relationship satisfaction than those who avoid difficult conversations or suppress their needs (source).
Practical Steps to Start Living in Alignment
Navigating Pushback with Grace
Living in alignment doesn’t always sit well with those who are used to the old version of you. People may resist your boundaries or question your choices. That’s okay. Stand firm. Remind yourself that by honoring your truth, you’re creating space for the right people to enter your life and for existing relationships to grow stronger.
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Here’s how to handle resistance:
How I Help My Clients
This journey—from rediscovering yourself to transforming your relationships—is the heart of the work I do with my clients. I help individuals uncover what’s holding them back, build habits and mindsets that honor their truth, and nurture the kind of relationships that bring joy and fulfillment. Together, we focus on aligning with your authentic self and creating a life that reflects your deepest values.
If this resonates with you and you’re ready to take the first step toward living in alignment, I invite you to book a Discovery Call. I’d love to support you in uncovering your truth and transforming your relationships into sources of strength and joy.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Q: Why do I feel so drained in my relationships?
A: Feeling drained is often a sign that you’re giving more than you’re receiving or that you’re not honoring your boundaries. Reflect on where you might be overextending yourself and consider setting limits that protect your energy.
Q: How can I be authentic without upsetting others?
A: Being authentic doesn’t mean disregarding others’ feelings; it means communicating your truth with kindness and clarity. Often, people respect honesty more than we expect, even if it’s uncomfortable at first.
Q: I’m overwhelmed by where to start. What’s one simple step I can take today?
A: Start by identifying one area in your life where you feel out of alignment. This could be a relationship, a work obligation, or even how you spend your free time. Take one small action, like saying no to something that doesn’t serve you.
Q: Can living in alignment really transform my relationships?
A: Absolutely. When you show up authentically, you invite deeper connection and trust. Research shows that authenticity improves relationship satisfaction and fosters mutual respect.
Q: Can I benefit from this work if I’m not in a relationship?
A: Yes! The process of aligning with your truth impacts every area of your life—relationships, career, self-esteem, and more. Whether you’re single, partnered, or somewhere in between, I help clients uncover their authentic selves, strengthen their sense of purpose, and build a foundation for lasting fulfillment.
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"Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray." – Rumi