How to live in a polarized world (1)

The polarization is tearing the world apart. Not only between countries, between political parties, but also among society, between friends and families, it is often subject to disputes, conflicts and it is putting us away from each other until we don’t understand each other anymore…

Why this polarization? How to live in this polarization? As someone having lived in different countries and cultures, I want to share with you my understandings of this polarization and how to face it, to build the dialogue, trust, and understanding. 

What is polarization? 

There are multiple definitions and use of the term “polarization”. I will just describe it as a situation where people take two completely opposite opinions around a certain topic, like the two poles in physics. Between the two sides, there is no possibility of discussion without a potential argument or conflict. You may have experienced it during discussions with family, friends, or colleagues, especially about a political subject where another person is taking a completely opposite position as yours. You try to explain your points, but you have the feeling that the other guy cannot understand it. You both repeat and repeat until you just give up or worse, come to more violent conflict, with the feelings that the other is the evil, the dumbest. One great example is the polarized US politics between the Republicans and Democrats, but you find the polarized everywhere: socialism vs. liberalism, liberalism vs. conservatism, capitalism vs. ecology, globalization vs. regionalism, China vs. West, and Business vs. IT…. It happens between countries, between roles, between friends and family members,... The whole world is polarized and polarization is everywhere. 

Why polarization? 

This question haunted me for several years, while I was born in China, grown-up in France and have lived in different countries in Europe. Why good people hate each other, or just cannot understand each other. Is it a question of language? Not so simple. Nowadays we master a number of languages more than ever and have so advanced communication tools to transmit information instantly. Still, there are so many factors that bring the world into a polarized conflict where the understanding, as simple it seems, is often a “mission impossible”. I am going to list some of the factors that in my point of view, are reasons for this polarization problem.  

The stereotype of the “Other”: Which image comes to your mind when we talk about the word “China”? As a child when I started school in France in 2000, people around me considered, in the 21st century, that every Chinese man knows “Kung Fu”, wears conical hats, still governed under Mao Tse-dong and my teacher believed I could fly… When as an adult, I fly back to China to visit family and friends, or when I visit some websites, I find people still believe in the complots of western governments against China to enslave and humiliate Chinese people... We see the others through stereotypes and it is part of our nature, let’s admit it. It is the natural instinct that allows a life-being to make the difference between predator and prey, and survive the law of nature. However, we have a tendency to bring this instinct into our human society and unconsciously use it in our daily life against our fellows. Because we have many different societies and we don’t know all of them, so based on little information from movies, cartoons, books we have, we draw a portrait of the “Other”. A portrait that enhances and exaggerates the difference because that is what we remember, or have some vague ideas. But for us, it is the “Other”. Everything that does not conform to this cliché of the “Other” is often just... ignored. When we have a talk, it is to the stereotype we think about, the stereotype which becomes even stronger when the discussion goes more intensive.  

The stereotype of ourselves: people may recognize that they have stereotypes or prejudice against others, however, they often ignore that they also use stereotypes to understand themselves. It is our past, our history, our experiences that forge our values, our behaviors, our society, but also haunt us with an established model that tries to dictate us the right and the wrong. In France, it is the Revolution de 1789, the democracy, the poor against the rich. In Germany, it is the atrocity of the nazism, the reunification of the West-East. In Switzerland, it is the “Heimat”, the direct democracy. In China, it is the Japanese and western invasions, the creation of the Republic PRC in 1949, the Cultural Revolution and especially the economic reforms of Deng Xiaoping. That’s why any reforms by french government can bring people down to the street (CPE in 2006; “Gilets jaunes” in 2018), the relationship and bilateral agreements between EU-Switzerland have always been a sensitive topic, the nationalism in China gains power during each tension with foreign countries. Our history and values are very important to know who we are, to keep our society stable and fair. However, we are sometimes so deeply rooted in these images, these stories where there are heroes and evil, that we forget that there may be different ways, perspectives, values, that we don’t understand until we live it and feel it.

Distorted information: Information is the brick we use to build our understanding of the world: We get information from others, we interpret it in our way and we make opinions and decisions based on it. In this whole process, the information can be biased, precisely because of the stereotypes that we have about the other and ourselves. No matter in which social or political system we live, as humans in modern society, we want simple, quick, and clear conclusions, like those in scientific experiments: you build hypotheses, you make experiments, you get the conclusions: is it right/wrong, yes/no, good/bad. However a social fact has many angles that make whatever your hypothesis is, you can always find something to justify your opinion: you can find some terrorists who are islam-believers, you can find some Germans cold and arrogant, you can find some French people always complaining. But is it enough to build an opinion about a nation, a people? Probably you would miss some open-minded Muslim people who might become your friends, some warm-hearted Germans who may take you as family members, some hardworking and talented french engineers who help you to make your business successful. Those are also real people I met in my life. Willing to jump to a simple conclusion may be dangerous since you would miss the whole complexity and diversity of the society to make the right decision. 

People have different interests: but do we want to see facts through different angles? Do we take time to consider a country from its history, economy, society? Do we want to understand how a government operates, how the parliament proceeds to a vote, how the economy works under different pressures? Not really. Most of the “serious” topics are only our daily spicy jokes during lunches with colleagues, dinners with family. We don’t have time and don’t want to understand all the stuff. No, we just want the part that interests us, the part that comforts our thoughts, that consolidates our prejudice. From one simple fact, like a commercial agreement between two countries, some people may be more interested in financial opportunities, others may see it as a threat to local industries, some will be great technological development, others may see job loss and relocation. Depending on the interest, often based on the personal environment, people may choose, consciously or unconsciously to pick up the aspect he interests in, and ignore the rest. So no matters what is said, as soon as we hear some keywords that hit our mind, we get a picture and act accordingly, like “Revolution” to go down on the street, “Capitalist” to throw eggs, “Sovereignty” to wing the flags. People are most of the time not interested in what they do not know, but in what they already knew.

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So the information is always biased by the one who reports it because he sees it through his angle and is biased by the one who receives it because of his own interest and his past. This double deformation, accelerated even by the new technologies, only reinforces our preexisting opinions and stereotypes, and in the end, makes the polarized world even more polarized.

In this first article I wanted to share my observation about polarization in our society, what it is, and what are the reasons for this polarization. In the next article, I will give my tips about how to live in this polarized world, to have a constructive dialogue with people of different opinions.   

Do you see also phenomena of polarization in your life? What are the reasons and how do you solve the conflicts? Of course, you are welcome to let comments and share your thoughts about polarization and your experience. 

How to live in a polarized world (1)

How to live in a polarized world (2)