How a little vulnerability goes a long way

Many people try to hide their vulnerabilities at all costs, and if it isn’t apparent to you yet, I’m not one of those people. I believe that we find strength in vulnerability and that it’s a bold move that can yield some pretty cool results. While I’m not promising you a 30-day money-back guarantee, I am telling you from personal experience, that we have to throw away the idea of a leader walking around the office with tears and a tissue box as our representation of vulnerability. What I’m promising you is that being vulnerable is worth the risk of being judged or failing, and that a vulnerable leader is an image of strength and power in my books.  

Invites collaboration

Vulnerability is exposing yourself (not like that!!). It’s, Hey, I’ve got a fire over here, rather than trying to hide the smoke. What smoke? I don’t see any smoke. When you let others in, it can spark a unique collaboration that can pave the way for meaningful change. You’ll find yourself building a solution with your team, instead of treading water on your own. When you are able to say, this is what I’m struggling with, it will signal to others that you are open to a conversation, and more importantly a collaborative effort toward a solution.

Creates space for conversation

Some of the best conversations that I’ve had started with me or the other person taking a risk and being vulnerable. Whether it’s about Black Lives Matter, the glass ceiling at work, or your failing marriage, sharing something vulnerable can develop an exchange that will be imprinted in your mind once the conversation is over. When your conversations are anchored to a foundation of vulnerability, true connections are formed that are based on things besides that cute purse you saw last week.

Forms genuine connections

Let’s be honest, it can be scary to show our imperfect sides to others, especially our team at work. You’re always told to be the strong, stoic leader, right? Fearless in the face of change! An assured confidence at every turn. That’s not always realistic, even for the best leaders I know. I get that there are times for the brave face and the “everything is fine” approach (I’ve done it!), but sometimes your team just needs authenticity, instead of something packaged with a pretty bow on top. When you’re real, that’s when others are able to truly see you and connect with you on a deeper level.

Builds trust and loyalty

Connecting on that deeper level is what builds trust, and eventually loyalty. Now, you can’t just share your obsession with Tiger King with your new employee and expect them to trust you that same day (would not recommend). It’s about putting your ego aside, letting your walls down, and showing a side of you that is doing your best with what you have. Your team will find trust and loyalty in an approach that showcases drive and grit, rather than shiny objects and perfect scores. 

Enhances creativity and innovation

It’s about building a culture of vulnerability. Brené Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. You didn’t think I was going to talk about vulnerability and not mention Brené Brown, did you? Your team members are more likely to take risks, try something new, and be courageous, if they are being guided by a vulnerable leader who does the same. Vulnerability can create space for “productive failure”, as Brené calls it, which can make your team’s creativity and innovation skyrocket!

An article from entrepreneur.com says that “the boldest act of a leader is to be publicly vulnerable.” Yes!!! I couldn’t agree more. Stop burying those wounds, and instead, use them as a source of power! Hiding your vulnerabilities is tiring! Who is exhausted from pretending to be the perfect leader? Start embracing your failures, wounds, mistakes, and weaknesses. I mean, c’mon, we’re living through a politically unstable, worldwide pandemic, during a movement demanding equity and liberation! Let’s give each other a break. There’s no better time to be vulnerable with your team than now.

Remember when you found out that being smart was cool? This is kind of like that. Being vulnerable isn’t a bad thing; what’s bad is wasting your time and energy to be perfect. Imperfection is cool and it’s time to start embracing vulnerability and sharing your story.