How to Listen.

Part one of TBD

1:Probably the most important thing that I can do when I want to achieve great listening is I actually decide that I want to listen. It's a choice. And for me it need to be a conscious one.

2: One great obstacle to great listening is the fear of losing one's worldview, and one's place in that worldview. When I put myself in the place of whom I speaking with, temporarily my own worldview and my sense of self in that world view needs to disappear in order to achieve empathy. It gets tricky because by suspending my own worldview a number of hard held beliefs get questioned. And if a few of those beliefs turn out to be false, then what else is false? I remind myself that I've never made frogs to drop from the sky nor made passing cars to veer of the road and crash by simply becoming empathetic.

3: Simply not speaking until the other person is done talking just so I can say what I want to say isn't listening. Another major obstacle to great listening is fear of not getting my point across and that my 'point' doesn't get made (which is another way of saying 'doesn't get counted'). Therefore I need to accept that if my point is so great then it doesn't need to be spoken, &/or if it is so great then the conversation will land there anyways.

• 3A: Hopefully, when I push my points aside and speak only in contect of what the speaker has said I will gain valuable insight either about the speaker or about whatever subject matter we're discussing.

4: One great way to do the above is to accept death. Yes, when I accept that I will die and have relatively no idea when it will happen suddenly a lot of my own BS quickly goes away. All of my relationships improve and much greater appreciation for the moment is gained.

I cannot really do the above on demand or in the moment, it sort of takes practice and patience, and should be a general mindset.

Check out the book Active Listening by Carl R Roberts and Richard Evans, and The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene for more on the above.

I might write more about this as I continue to study the topic, I might not.