How to Listen with Oscar Trimboli

Episode Summary

Oscar Trimboli is the author of How to Listen: Discover the Hidden Key to Better Communication. He is the speaker and host of the podcast, Deep Listening, a podcast that is centered on creating practical tips and techniques to improve your daily listening. The world is a noisy place where you fight to be heard every day. Oscar understands this and joins the show to engage in a rich discussion on deep listening, facilitating conversations to get to the ‘essence,’ and the importance of having a listening ritual. Join Aviv Shahar as he and Oscar break down best practices to help you overcome barriers in How to Listen.

Tweetables: Quotable Moments

“Good listeners listen to what people say, and great listeners notice what people don’t say. When you know the neuroscience of listening, you realize that people can think up to nine times faster than they can speak. So the first thing they say is probably between ten and fourteen percent of what they are thinking.”

“So despite how vast it is, we know that just simple microskills will be the difference in progressing your listening.”

“The other two tips are: drink water before you go into a meeting and drink a glass of water every hour in a meeting as well. That just sends a very simple message to your parasympathetic nervous system - it’s a nervous system that has more nerve endings than your brain and it connects with your ‘gut feel’ - and it will help you to pause and be present for the other person.”

“One of the fascinating insights is when you listen to what’s not said, you help the speaker move from what they say, to what they think, to what they mean much quicker, and you get to the essence of the conversation.”

“What most listeners don’t know is that it’s not your job to make sense of what the speaker says. They are actually the expert in that already. As a listener, your job is to help the speaker express what they think and what they mean. And when you do that, you’ll create a very memorable experience and you’ll move from transactional dialogue to transformation for the other person or for the team.”

“When it comes to listening to a human - if you’re doing something that’s complex, collaborative, creative, constrained, surrounded in conflict - when it comes to listening to a human, multitasking is impossible. And this is amplified in the workplace.”

“When you’re in that conversation with that Chief Marketing Officer, just ask them one question consistently: ‘Tell me more.’ It’s a very short question, but it’s a very potent question. It’s a question that keeps the conversation going in the same direction. ‘Tell me more.’”

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