How to Listen Like a Stoic

In this fast-paced, chaotic, and loud world we live in, the art of listening is becoming a lost skill, drowned out by the distraction of digital devices and the noise of modern life.

Yet, amidst the clamor, the ancient philosophy of Stoicism offers a timeless solution to one of our most fundamental challenges: how to truly listen and connect with others.

The Stoics were masters of the art of listening.

Let's explore how the teachings of the Stoics can help us become expert listeners -- strengthening our relationships with others and enriching our lives.

Listen More Than You Speak

“Nature has given to men one tongue, but two ears, that we may hear from others twice as much as we speak.” ~Epictetus

When we speak, we are saying things we already know. But when we listen, we learn.

The Stoics were students of life. They loved to learn. So they listened. Because then knew that the way to learn was through listening.

Listen With Intention

“Practice really hearing what people say. Do your best to get inside their minds.” ~Marcus Aurelius

There is a big difference between hearing and listening. Don't just "hear someone out", truly listen to what they're saying.

Listening goes deeper than hearing. It's a more intentional, thoughtful, and caring exercise. When you listen, you don't just hear words, you observe the intention behind the words through tone and body language.

The Stoics listened with intention.

Make Sure What Your Saying Needs to be Said

“I begin to speak only when I’m certain what I’ll say isn’t better left unsaid.” ~ Cato

Most people in conversations can't wait to blurt out what they want to say. They wait for the next nanosecond pause to speak. Or worse yet they just talk right over their conversation partner.

They don't put any thought into what they want to say. An, as a result, they say things they regret.

A Stoic pauses, before they speak. They are thoughtful. They ask themselves if what they are about to say is respectful and necessary. If the answer is no, they remain silent. If the answer is yes, they speak up.

There's a simple method I use to practice the art of listening like a true Stoic. I call it the LBS Method: Listen, Breathe, Speak

? Listen to what the other person is saying.

? Take a breath.

? Then speak.

Basically, take a single breath before you speak.

The LBS Method is a simple listening framework that helps you to truly listen and give thoughtful replies.

Listening is a superpower. It helps you to be more thoughtful. It allows you build trust. It makes you stand out.

Most of your questions in life get answered when you take the time to listen.

So, in a world where everyone is too focused on making noise and being heard...

Be the different one.

Be the one who listens.