How LinkedIn Helped Me Overcome Burnout

As a Gartner analyst, we field hundreds of client calls annually. Some of our analysts field upwards of 1000s of calls a year. Each 30 minute-long call takes advance preparation and research so that we always deliver the best advice and impact for our clients.

I primarily deal with CX-related queries and challenges of our tech product leaders and managers. For me, I make doubly sure that when I get into a call, our clients leave feeling like they've been heard, supported and their questions answered (to the best of my ability). You see, it's always about the experience. I'm not in CX. I AM the CX.

Then it happened. In a video call with a SaaS provider product manager client I speak to on a regular basis, he uncharacteristically cut me off mid-sentence.

"Adrian. Adrian, you OK?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Was what I said unclear?"

"No. I got that. You're just looking a bit tired today. Not yourself. Everything alright?"

"What?... Absolutely." But I wasn't. "I'm good. Shall we press on?"

I'm Emotionally Constipated.

Some background. I was born in the 70s, so a Gen-Xer or the 'latchkey generation'. This meant during my formative childhood years, both my parents were busy working full-time jobs to secure us a solid, safe and stable middle class upbringing in Singapore. I was no different to many of my peers.

Wake up. Get breakfast. Get to school. Do our lessons. Come home. Fix our own meals. Do our homework. Repeat. By ourselves. By the time my parents returned tired from a day's work, our conversations typically went, "Did your homework? How was school? How did you do on that test? Have you eaten yet?"

Short, sharp, succinct. Those were my early memories. As a joke, I tell my friends and coworkers I am emotionally constipated. My family doesn't deal in 'feelings' or emotions. We deal with 'things'. While each member of our little family may have felt different emotions or feelings, it was almost never discussed. We had emotions. Those just never came out. Even today, I chuckle inwardly sometimes when I hear people who want to share 'how they feel'.

I mean, who's got time for that?

Overachiever? That's Just How I'm Wired

"Don't come home if you're not top of the class." My sisters and I heard this from my parents at report card season. There were many years where I didn't go home because I was second or, heaven forbid, in third place after receiving those dreaded school report cards. My parents would harangue my teachers for an extra percentage point or two on our grades.

In Singapore, all males have to go through compulsory military training from the age of 18 to 21. Which meant by the time I was finishing up honors year in university, I was closer to 25 years old. It didn't stop my parents from getting in one last dig. "Why did you only get a Second Uppers Honor degree? What did the top graduate get?"

So when I say I like to overachieve, I'm not kidding. I'm like one of those self-propelled mowers. I push myself. It's how I'm wired.

After that client call ended, I opened my LinkedIn page. I had tasked myself to post something, long or short, on LinkedIn as often as I can. It created awareness for the research work I'm doing at Gartner. It also allowed me to connect with other professionals in the craft of product management and marketing.

My fingers hovered over the keyboard for a long time. It had been a crazy decade. Moved across continents. Got laid off. Got new job. Grandmother died. Pandemic. Lockdown. Mother died. Moved across continents. House hunt. Buy car. Job promotion. Co-host big work event. New house. New work responsibilities. Got COVID. I took extraordinary pride in not letting the ball drop. I'd take everything in my stride.

Nothing would get me down. Except me. Only I can get me down. Boy oh boy, I was really tired. I was burnt out.

The usually emotionally-constipated, overachiever Gartner analyst went personal and posted this on LinkedIn.

And I closed the LinkedIn tab on my PC browser, and carried on with my work.

People of LinkedIn to the Rescue!

Let me share a little secret with you. Very few Gartner analysts are well-known on social media. I am not one of them.

In less than an hour, my phone notifications were a-buzzing. I spied multiple notifications. Colleagues, clients, friends, and even perfect strangers were commenting on the post. I couldn't resist. I read the comments.

You know what? I felt much better. You gotta get some of that dopamine. Over the course of the day, the advice and tips and support kept on rolling in. At the end of the day, it was one of my most viewed posts EVER. To date, the reactions to this post surpassed everything else I had done on LinkedIn. I don't ever talk about how I feel on LinkedIn. Yet, this one confession was creating so much great advice and tips and recommendations from so many people.

And you know, it was ALL GOOD.

Over the next days, I caved in. After trying to avoid my phone, news, social media as long as I could, I picked up the phone and looked at all the comments, advice and reactions. Oh my, the great advice and tips, some of which I have never even known from people I've never met. I was so utterly touched and grateful. The lingering self-doubt gorilla on my back was put to rest.

Your Advice Helped Me Overcome

I'd be remiss if I didn't share what I learned from reading all the great advice from so many of the great people on LinkedIn. Many of the comments bore a striking similarity. And there were also some, let's say, unorthodox suggestions. :)

If I were to pull a poor ChatGPT impression, it'd look like this:

• Empathy and solidarity. Some said they felt the same and opened up. That instantly lifted me from "Am I the only one?" to "It's OK, others feel the same too." Your vulnerability is empowering.
• Get moving. Many of the advice recommended the great outdoors, Nature and fresh air. Physically involving yourself in an activity different to what we'd do normally. Yoga, meditate, run, walk, lift, hike, bike. All great.
• Me time. It's OK to be selfish and do things for yourself and by yourself. Do things that give you pleasure, enjoyment and helps your brain to reset. Journal. Write. Creating an anti-pattern to shock the system.
• Connect with people. Call them, speak to them, meet them, walk with them, hug them. The human touch does wonders, Working remote can deprive you of that.
• Music. Suggestions for different playlists, artists, different genres of music. I added all of those to my playlists. In rhythm there ain't no blues. Literally, your suggestions rock me.

For a person that doles out advice for a living, it was really transformational to just take advice from others. For a person that churns out research report after report, it feels fantastic to be writing a blog article that has NOTHING to do with work.

So, a big thank you. And if anyone wants to experience a bit of the love that I got on LinkedIn, just read those great comments and advice here.

Thank you. I'm back. And the reason is YOU.