How LGBTQ+ allies can help transform our world

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

?—Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

November 20 marks the Transgender Day of Remembrance, an annual observance honoring transgender individuals whose lives were lost due to bigotry and transphobia. Amid a historic pandemic and reckoning on racial injustice, this year marks a terrible milestone. 2020 has been the deadliest year on record for transgender and gender-nonconforming people in the US, and most of the victims have been Black or Latinx trans women who contend with multiple historically oppressed identities.

This is a tragic human rights crisis. My heart goes out to those grieving these lives lost too soon, and never has it been clearer that justice is needed for trans women of color, who are often the most vulnerable members of the LGBTQ+ community.

How can advocates for equality respond to this horrifying trend? As LGBTQ+ allies, we play a powerful role calling for the dignity, safety and inclusion of transgender and gender-nonconforming individuals. 

I am very open about my support of the LGBTQ+ community. Six years ago, my youngest child came out as transgender. I am so proud of Henry and the young man he is becoming. This experience has only deepened my longtime support of LGBTQ+ people everywhere.

Because of my vocal activism, people often ask me how they can best support LGBTQ+ colleagues and friends. While there’s no one way to be an ally, I believe we can all do our part to build a more inclusive world if we each commit to a few simple actions.

Set an example. Leaders, in business and society, are responsible for ensuring that everyone feels safe, seen, included and heard. This is not a political stance; it is what I call “empathetic leadership.” I make it very clear that I expect all team leaders to be visible allies for professionals of color, LGBTQ+ colleagues and other marginalized groups.

What’s key here is action — not just intention. In fact, a recent study supported by the EY organization illustrates the consequences of passive allyship in the workplace. The research showed that nearly half of self-identified LGBTQ+ allies (49%) don’t consider taking action to be necessary. They might think that not laughing at jokes or asking LGBTQ+ colleagues personal questions shows their allyship. But with 58% of LGBTQ+-identified people still hiding their identity at work, we clearly have a long way to go to ensure everyone not only feels supported, but that they truly belong.

Speak up. Effective LGBTQ+ allyship means using your voice to call for change and standing for what’s right. Over the years, I’ve advocated for LGBTQ+ equality, both within our organization and at the local, state and federal level. Currently, I serve as the Executive Sponsor of Unity Americas, our LGBTQ+ professional network, and sit on Out Leadership’s Global Advisory Board.

But allyship is also how you show up in everyday life and what we do and say to extend respect to others. As an example, I wear my Pride pin year-round, not just in June. As an LGBTQ+ ally, don’t be afraid to call out homophobia, transphobia and other discriminatory comments or behaviors. 

Lend a hand. Traditionally, food banks and soup kitchens see a groundswell of support during the holiday season, and 2020 has seen record demand for hunger relief programs. But you may not realize that food insecurity among LGBTQ+ adults in the United States is more than double the national rate. This year, if you can, help to ensure that no table is empty by donating canned goods and other nonperishables to your local food pantry.

Another way to give back is to virtually volunteer with The Trevor Project, a national 24-hour, confidential suicide hotline for LGBTQ+ youth. Mental health resources like these are more important than ever, as many are struggling with increased anxiety, social isolation and economic uncertainty. Serving as a crisis counselor over chat or on the phone can make a huge difference in the lives of LGBTQ+ young people.

As we head into a Thanksgiving holiday like no other, I am very grateful for my public platform to advocate for LGBTQ+ rights. My ask of you: in recognition of this year’s Transgender Day of Remembrance and increasing violence against our trans neighbors, be an outspoken LGBTQ+ ally in the communities where you work and live. Set an example, speak up and lend a hand.

Again, this isn’t a partisan issue. It’s about ensuring we acknowledge one another’s humanity. We have an amazing opportunity to bring light into our hurting world, and together we can help make a more just and equitable world for all.

The views reflected in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the global EY organization or its member firms.