How leaders build reputations by revealing flaws

Many leaders assume that they must be perceived to be confident and without weakness to lead others. However, psychological evidence suggests this is not the case. Here are several reasons why leaders should speak about their mistakes and weaknesses.

Revealing failures to win over audiences

Do you pretend to be perfect? Many leaders do. If your peers or reports see you mainly as strong and successful, it’s very possible they may feel what psychologists call malicious envy – a negative emotion that does not have your best interests at heart.

However, a recent series of studies led by Harvard University’s Alison Wood Brooks points to a solution. In one study of entrepreneurs pitching their business ideas, those who spoke about their failures as well as successes were rated as less arrogant than those who only mentioned their successes. At the same time, entrepreneurs who admitted their imperfections were rated as having just as much status as those who spoke only of successes. Counterintuitively then, speaking about imperfections may have no downside.

Building authenticity and trust

Surveys have found that leaders have a strong preference for speaking only about their strengths. Very few choose to mention their weaknesses for fear that it might damage people’s perceptions of them.

However, an investigation led by business researcher Li Jiang suggests that leaders who volunteer information about their flaws tend to be seen more positively. Leaders who shared relatable weaknesses – such as concerns about public speaking or struggles keeping up with industry trends – were perceived as more authentic but just as competent as those who only discussed their strengths and successes.

The researchers’ data showed that the disclosures had to be voluntary. The benefits did not accrue when a leader was exposed by others for a weakness.

In contrast, leaders who did not share any weaknesses were perceived as overly calculated or strategic – to be putting on a front. So, consider that not appearing vulnerable may create a barrier to genuine connection and trust.

Creating a climate of openness

As a leader, do you want your team to be honest or to hide things and even lie? If you never acknowledge your own weaknesses, don’t be surprised if your team follow your example and decide to hide their weaknesses.

When leaders only speak about their strengths and achievements, it creates the expectation that only success is acceptable. It sets an unrealistic standard that may discourage your people from admitting their mistakes or asking for help.

Over time, this can lead to a climate of cover-ups and pretence rather than one of owning up and learning from mistakes. So, discuss your own flaws and failures if you would like transparency and honesty to become the norm.

Understanding how we see ourselves versus how we are seen

It’s not just leaders who could do with sharing some of their difficulties and disappointments.

Anna Bruk at the University of Mannheim has documented that individuals tend to be highly critical of their own displays of vulnerability – while observers actually tend to see such displays rather positively. Bruk and her colleagues have dubbed this the beautiful mess effect – that people who admit mistakes or express uncertainty tend to be seen as courageous, authentic, and emotionally strong.

Putting vulnerability into practice

From my research and experience of working with leaders, here are a couple of pointers on how to be more open – without risking your reputation:

• Focus on relatable vulnerabilities. Share weaknesses or difficulties that are common to many people. If you speak about the fact that you got A grades all the time at school and university but then struggled on one occasion when you got a lone B, that could sound like bragging as opposed to a story about something genuine.
• Prepare before debriefing failures at work. I’m not suggesting you blurt out all of the details about your every mistake. When you make a blunder – whether it’s an embarrassing gaffe in front of a senior colleague or a significant error of judgement – think about how best to communicate it to your team. Prepare beforehand and think about open-ended questions you could ask to help your team reflect on the lessons to be learned.

A wealth of psychological evidence suggests that all of us could benefit from speaking about our mistakes as well as personal failings – at least occasionally. Rather than damaging our reputations, being open seems to strengthen relationships and build credibility.

Chartered Psychologist Dr Rob Yeung

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