How A Leader Treat Their Team Says A Lot About Their Personality

On a rainy Tuesday afternoon, Ben’s 31-year-old wife died after battling stage 4 lung cancer for four and a half years. The treatments weren’t working in her last days, and the pain got worse by the minute. It was so painful watching someone you love so much, having to endure that kind of suffering, and Ben was powerless to help in any way. Ben sat on a chair with his hands on his head, tears running down his face, trying to be strong for his two young children, thinking about a line or a sentence that could explain the death of their mother.?

The whole experience was emotionally draining for Ben, but despite his challenges, his CEO and staff were very supportive. They took up his responsibilities, which allowed Ben to deal with his wife’s illness full-time. If Ben didn’t have that support from his team and CEO, God knows how he would make it.?

I read that story, and it reinforces my love for great leadership and their ability to connect with their employees professionally and personally. Inspirational leaders constantly reinforce collective responsibility and go out of their way to ensure their team has the necessary support when needed. But, unfortunately, so many companies are void of this, for example, I can remember reading an article where the author was sharing her story when her father died; she said that after a week, her manager told her, “you need to get over this everyone dies” it’s truly amazing what some people have to endure.

The core foundational trait of any leader is empathy and their ability to place themselves in their employee’s situations to feel what their people are feeling. However, it requires some serious soul-searching and a change of thinking to practice empathy, which is still considered a “not so important trait” for many people responsible for managing and leading people.

Many people have grown accustomed to this type of environment, where it’s void of any employee support, especially in a time of unforeseen circumstances. They believe all companies are the same, and they have been brainwashed to think that work is this prison sentence waiting for bail every day at 4 or 5 p.m. when there are thousands of companies who put their employees first and really look out for their staff and their families.?

I remember standing in line a couple of years ago, waiting to cash some items I picked up at the supermarket, when a manager stopped one of the guys on the floor and said to him, in full view of everyone in the waiting area, “how could you forget the stuff I ask you for, you don’t use your brain.” I felt pretty awful for the guy because the lady’s tone was disgusting, and anyone looking on could see the embarrassed look on his face.

One can conclude that these people are not being mentored or coached to lead. They are not given the necessary training and have absolutely no people skills. I have seen this time and time again, people who are promoted into a leadership position, but unfortunately, they have yet to learn what constitutes great leadership. But do you know what is even more disturbing? Many people believe this type of behavior is normal.?

Normal for their manager to verbally abuse them, work in an environment of distrust and deceit, engage in gossip, or look for self-preservation at the expense of everything and everyone.

"How you see others is linked to how happy, kind-hearted and emotionally stable you are."

Research conducted by a Wake Forest University psychology professor indicated that your perceptions of others reveal so much about your own personality. For example, by asking participants to each rate positive and negative characteristics of just three people, the researchers were able to find out crucial information about the rater’s well-being, mental health, social attitudes and how others judged them.

The researchers found a person’s tendency to describe others in positive terms is an important indicator of the positivity of the person’s own personality traits. They discovered particularly strong associations between positively judging others and how enthusiastic, happy, kind-hearted, courteous, emotionally stable and capable the person describes oneself and is described by others.

“Seeing others positively reveals our own positive traits.”

In contrast, negative perceptions of others are linked to higher levels of narcissism and antisocial behavior. “A huge suite of negative personality traits are associated with viewing others negatively,” Wood says. “The simple tendency to see people negatively indicates a greater likelihood of depression and various personality disorders.”

The moment you think you have the right to belittle others because you are better than they are is the moment you prove you have no power, according to Lolly Daskal. People tend to make others feel how they themselves feel, whether it’s great or small. How a leader labels, judges, and values the people around them lets us glimpse their personality and even their self-esteem.

Entrepreneur Richard Branson, who is celebrated for running incredibly successful companies built around happy workforces, writes: “Your employees are your company’s real competitive advantage. They’re the ones making the magic happen–so long as their needs are being met.”

When you enter into the realm of leadership, you are in the business of people. Inspiring and motivating people to get things done. You lead by example and are comfortable with the uncertainty that leadership brings. As such, you are flexible in adapting to new challenges and nimble in adjusting to sudden changes.?

Leaders who have high standards for themselves and others continually learn how to improve performance along with their team. When Ben’s wife died, he got overwhelming support from his company; in this type of environment, employees are valued, and their turnover will be practically zero because the leaders who genuinely care about their employees have the most loyal employees in the world.

People in leadership positions who always use negative and critical labels against people show their own inner emptiness and lack of self-esteem, which is extremely detrimental to any organization.?