How to know if you're a good manager

It was recently revealed in my client’s performance review that she was considered a beloved manager by her team - that people actually asked to be put on her team for that reason alone. Surprised as she was, I wasn’t. You know a good manager when you see, or experience, one.

Middle managers are the sweet spot of any organization. Simply put, senior leadership sets the tone and culture, and gives the highest level direction; individual contributors take direction and help make the work happen. 

But middle management? They have a big job. To enable a team to deliver on the organization’s goals requires managing and motivating individuals to do their best work. All while ensuring quality and timing. It often feels easier to just “do it myself” as a manager, but in the long run this does the organization and individuals on a team a disservice.

Because doesn’t everyone seek autonomy in their work (and life)? And from a place of ownership...isn’t that how the best work gets done?

It’s no wonder that one of the biggest areas of conflict in organizations is how managers work with, inspire and reward their direct reports. Here are 5 little things good managers do, and that I consistently see from the best leaders I know.   

“Because doesn’t everyone seek autonomy in their work (and life)? And from a place of ownership...isn’t that how the best work gets done?”

1. Prioritize and keep your 1:1s. Nothing says “you’re not important” quite like having your manager constantly cancel or shorten your 1:1s. It can be easy during a busy day to look at your schedule and decide to put off a 1:1 with your team, but this is a dangerous habit. It not only sends a strong (negative) message, but it also eliminates the time and space needed to collaborate and move things forward efficiently. If there’s one easy thing you can do, it’s to have - and keep - the appropriate cadence of meetings with your team.   
2. Listen 100%. In other words, a good manager is present and actually listens to and hears their people. As a busy society, we ALL struggle with this inside and outside work. I often refer to the “laptop” rule: if you know your laptop is going to be a distraction when you’re in a meeting or on the phone, and it doesn’t have to be open, then you should close it. Same goes for the phone - just put it away for 30 minutes - and notice how much more present and responsive you are.  
3. Take risks on your people - responsibly. This may be the hardest one because it requires letting go of control in favor of building trust and competency on your team. I once had a manager send me to a client site when I was clearly not the right person for the job. When I told her this, she said, “I know.” It turned out to be one of the most successful engagements of my career, but it did take a lot of work and collaboration to get there (hence, “responsibly”). Risks can be small and powerful, too. Like letting someone take the first pass on a presentation, or inviting a team member to a big meeting to contribute. Letting go of control is another way of saying “I believe in you.”  
4. Assess and reassess their work. You can be a great manager, but if your direct reports are not happy with their work and aren’t feeling fulfilled by what they do, it won’t matter. True, people leave their managers. But under the surface, they are more likely leaving a job that is no longer fulfilling. A manager plays a key role in ensuring that the work of their team is fulfilling. I still believe it’s on the employee to raise concerns about work and personal development, but managers are on the hook to listen and provide some guidance.  
5. Be nice. It’s as simple as that. In my coaching career, several women have questioned whether they need to be you-know-what's to be respected and climb the ladder. I’m not at all surprised by this conundrum. To be nice doesn’t mean to be a pushover or to always say “yes”. It means to show up with kindness and empathy and be likeable in a way that builds trust - even if you’re saying no or delivering tough feedback. 

The takeaway is: most of these attributes and behaviors are fairly easy to integrate with some personal awareness and daily practice. It is therefore possible to become the manager that people want to work with and learn from. 

Yes - most people managers need training and probably a good coach, and there will most likely never be enough of that. But much of being a good leader is self-learned, requires small actions and is driven by a willingness to change.

Romy Rost is a change management expert turn leadership coach, helping leaders at all levels as they navigate the complexities of work. Romy is passionate about developing middle management, the organization’s sweet spot. Her approach is grounded in awareness, action and accountability in helping her clients change small behaviors to make the biggest difference.