How to know when to leave your relationship?

The real marriage or love relationship is a two-way spiritual alignment between two blessed souls where both souls are equally responsible to maintain a happy and vibrant relationship. Whenever you experience arguments or any conflicting issues or abusive acts in your relationship then don't leave your partner instantly rather work on your relationship wisely to fix it being together. The majority of the people are leaving their relationship too early and they are experiencing the same issues and the same consequences in their new relationship too. When you give your best possible effort on your relationship to work and if you experience the same toxic and abusive behavior then you should make a conscious wise decision asap for your personal well being. 

When you focus on your personal well being and if you experience the following case scenario in your relationship then you have to leave your relationship instantly.

1. Physical Abuse:-

It is extremely dangerous to compromise your precious life being with a partner who is physically abusive and who abuses you frequently. It is not a wise and mature decision to compromise your precious life being with a physically abusive partner for the lifetime just because of the fear of what people gonna say or fear of being single after leaving your partner. The frequent abusive behavior is the real identity of your partner and you should not fool yourself by saying yourself that " your partner loves you despite the physical abuse". If you stay in such a devastating relationship for too long then you will lose your self-worth, self-identity and you will experience an emotional disaster in your life.

You must leave your partner instantly if you get physically abused frequently and you are the responsible person to protect yourself from physical harm. It is not safe to meet with your partner after leaving your partner except one safest place which is the therapy center. There is one possible alternative to meet with your partner in a safe manner at a therapy center if your partner is more willing to give an effort for working on a relationship. The majority of the time, the abusive people are not that much interested to work on their relationship being at a therapy center.

2. Verbal abuse, emotional abuse, and controlling attitude:-

When your partner abuse you verbally, emotionally and in a controlling attitude frequently then you have to take your wise and mature decision instantly. It is extremely tough to focus on your personal well being when your partner is abusing you verbally, emotionally and controlling you most of the time. Once you compromise your precious life being with such an abusive partner for so long then you will lose your self-identity and you will be experiencing an emotional disaster in your life. You can heal your wounded self through your individual effort but you can't heal your relationship through your individual effort only. Your partner should take action from their end too to heal a relationship being at a therapy center with you but in a safe manner. 

Besides this, if your partner is not interested to learn, grow, heal and shine through darkness then you can't force your partner for this because you are responsible for your own end only. It doesn't matter how much you love your partner that doesn't change their abusive behavior unless they are willing to work being with a therapist. You have to give your best possible effort on your relationship to work but if your partner is not willing to change and if they feel happy with their abusive actions then it's the perfect time to leave your relationship.

3. Infidelity and sex addiction:-

When your partner is in an affair with someone else and if you are 100% sure of their cheating act then you must request your partner to talk on this matter and visit relationship counselor for fixing such issue. If your partner ignores your request and keeps cheating on you in a sexually addictive way on a frequent basis then it's a perfect time to make a conscious wise decision instantly. It is quite dangerous to your health if you compromise your precious life being with a partner who is in the game of cheating and sex addiction. Suppose your partner is addicted to having sex with another person then there is the chance to transfer a sexually transmitted disease like STDs. It will be better to leave a partner who is a cheater and sexually addictive. 

4. Financial abuse:-

You need to understand the fact that any kind of abuse is dangerous if it is not fixed at the right time. Actually, financial abuse can invite an emotional disaster in your life if your partner continues such behavior for so long. If your partner uses the money to control over you or if your partner puts you in debt by misusing money then you have to give your best possible effort on your relationship to work being together with a professional relationship counselor. There is another technique that is used by the majority of the couples where they are together in a relationship but with legally separate finances to have full access and control over their money. If you are using money against your partner then you have to do some inner work as well being with a relationship counselor. Besides this, if your partner is in gambling and spends money excessively which is putting you in debt and damaging your personal well being then its time to leave a relationship.

5. Substance addiction:-

When your partner is alcoholic or addicted to drugs and if you are experiencing an extreme level of emotional abuse or physical abuse then you are with the wrong person. You must request your partner to visit a therapist for fixing their addiction issues when they are in a normal condition but if they ignore to visit and keep themselves in the game of addiction then its time to leave a relationship. You are responsible to fix your issues only but you can't force your partner to fix their addiction issues rather they must be willing to work with a therapist to heal themselves. Besides this, if you are in a drug or alcohol addiction then you must work with a therapist to fix your addiction issues too. The substance addiction is the act of self-abandonment and it destroys even a happy and vibrant relationship.

6. Child abuse:-

When your partner abuses children verbally or emotionally or sexually on a frequent basis then you have to stand for your kids being yourself as an advocate for their justice and well being. If you notice that your partner is sexually abusive to your child or their child then don't be a spectator rather take action to leave your partner instantly. You are the solid stand for protecting your child and giving them their deserving environment where they can experience quality parenting. It is not about protecting your child only but it's about protecting yourself as well from an abusive partner. When you compromise yourself to continue your relationship by being with a partner who abuses kids frequently then it can damage the golden future of kids and it can invite an emotional disaster in your life as well.

7. Different paths without any positive growth and purpose.

The relationship is happy and fulfilling when both partners are growing, evolving and prospering in life having a clear purpose. It is normal to have own passion, interest, and purpose in a person but if there is a huge difference between partners then that can create an issue in a relationship. Suppose if you are passionate about learning, growing and evolving but if you find your partner not interested in learning, growing, evolving and working then you can' find that level of intense connection with your partner. You have to give your best possible effort to motivate your partner for being the best version of themselves but if they ignore it and feel proud of who they are then its time to move on.

8. The attitude of jealousy and crab mentality.

When you find your partner feeling threatened and treats you differently by seeing your success, positive growth and excitement of being the best version of yourself then you are with the wrong person. Your partner needs to be very supportive and should celebrate on your positive life transformations rather than diminishing your excitement and passion for being the best version of yourself. If your partner is not happy and feeling insecure by seeing your growth and success then you must leave your relationship for your personal well being.

9. Differences in the need for intimacy.

Sexual intimacy and emotional intimacy are essential ingredients for experiencing a happy and vibrant relationship. There is no fixed amount of sexual intimacy or emotional intimacy known to balance the need for it in a relationship. Sometimes the differences in the need for sexual intimacy and emotional intimacy can create loneliness and can damage the quality of relationship life. When your partner avoids intimating physically or emotionally on a frequent basis then you need to work on your relationship issues being together with a relevant therapist. Besides this, if you are overly demanding and needy then you need to work on your end too instead of pushing your partner for fixing your emotional or sexual need of intimacy. When you find your partner emotionally unavailable and sexually not interested despite your persistent effort then its time to leave a relationship.

Note: Whatever be the relationship issues in your existing relationship life, you must give your best possible effort on your relationship to work being with a professional counselor or relevant therapist as per your relationship issues. When you start to experience an extreme level of physical abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse, child abuse or life-threatening abusive act from your partner then you must leave your relationship instantly. Never wait for a miracle to happen for so long being in an abusive relationship rather take action to fix it but if it didn't work then leave your relationship and move on.

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Dhirajraj Relationship And Life Coaching

Dhiraj Kumar Raj - Motivation Coaching

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