How to Know the Difference Between Change and Transition

I took my youngest son to university last weekend. He’s in a different city. My other two kids have already left home. I’m an ‘empty nester’ now. This photo is one of the last ones of us before saying goodbye.

For many, becoming an empty nester means a new chapter in life - one that we get to write. It can be a world of opportunity: we’ve potentially got more time, fewer responsibilities at home, and less complexity. On the other hand, it can feel empty - suddenly there’s a hole where something rich and beautiful used to be. It can be a confusing time! I’ve got a whole range of emotions going on right now.

Here’s the thing: beginning a new chapter is not as simple as pressing ‘go’ and getting on with it.

Because while the change might have happened in one day, the transition takes longer.

The ‘change’ happened the day that I said goodbye.

The ‘transition’ began much earlier, when I first contemplated my youngest son leaving home, and the implications of that.

The change is done. The transition is still happening. And I’m guessing it will go on for some time to come.

Transition takes longer than change.?

Change happens on the outside. The transition occurs on the inside.

Change management expert William Bridges identified three distinct phases in any transition. First comes the ending - the moment of saying goodbye to my son. Then there's the neutral zone - this messy middle where I am now, letting go of old routines and gradually discovering new ones. Finally, there’ll be a new beginning, when I've fully embraced and settled into my new stage.

This framework helps explain why rushing any transition rarely works. Each phase serves a purpose, whether in personal life or organisational change. The ending phase needs its grieving time. The neutral zone, though uncomfortable, is where innovation often emerges. And new beginnings can only take root when we've moved through, not skipped over, the earlier phases.

If you rush it, the unfinished work of transition will likely hold you back.

Transition is about doing the messy, confusing, non-linear inner work. Rewiring, redefining, reviewing, reconnecting. The stuff we’d typically prefer not to lean into.

This is true whether it’s becoming an empty nester, or leading a restructure or organisational transformation.

I’ve worked with leaders and organisations that lead and navigate transition well, and those that don’t.

The ones that do it well have a few things in common. They:

• Play the long game. One client of mine, a large government department, planned their business transformation to last 10 years. They invested in their leadership and culture development accordingly, and it’s paid off with sustained performance and a very healthy culture.
• Embrace the non-linear. You can’t Gantt-chart transition. Expect u-turns, unplanned detours, fog, and breakdowns. It’s all part of the journey. Develop the ability to respond and adapt.
• Create a learning culture. You’re transitioning to the unknown. You don’t have all the answers right now. Create the conditions for yourself and others to experiment, make mistakes, and learn from them. That’s how you evolve.

Transition takes longer, and is messier, than change. If you want to come through to the other side in good shape, create the space and structures that will help you.

For my transition, rather than fill my time with ‘busywork’, I’m deliberately creating more empty space to notice and work with what’s going on for me. I’ve got good people to talk with. And I’m experimenting with new ideas for how to use my time.

Here are some practical suggestions for how you can navigate transition effectively:

When you’re leading change, transition, or transformation efforts:

1. Schedule monthly "transition check-ins" with your team to discuss not just progress metrics, but emotional and psychological adaptation
2. Create a "learning log" to document insights, challenges, and wins throughout the transition period
3. Develop a "transition toolkit" for your organisation that includes resources for emotional support, skill development, and adaptation strategies

For your personal transitions:

1. Establish a "transition routine" - daily practices that help you process and adapt to your new reality
2. Build a "transition support network" of peers who have experienced similar changes
3. Set realistic milestones that acknowledge both the practical and emotional aspects of the journey

Would you like a free toolkit that helps you easily apply these ideas??

Download the Leading and Navigating Transition Toolkit here.

And if you’d like help navigating transition at any level, hit me up for a chat. I’m right there with you.

For more like this, check out:

Are You Transforming or Tinkering?

What to Know About Transition and Change

The Value of Taking Deliberate Career Breaks, Crafting a Well-Lived Life, and Defining Your Path