How To Know If An Audience Likes Your Story

How do I know if my story is resonating with my audience?

I tried a new story but I'm not sure how much they liked it?

I'm wondering if there is a better story I could be telling?

These are all questions I hear when I coach people in business on their presentation skills, and questions I often ask myself. Truly understanding how we resonate with our audience is a difficult task and not an exact science. How you think you did is not often how they think you did. But let me answer the question as best I can.

If it's a funny story and they laughed, it worked.

Let's start with the easy answer. If you wanted your story to make them laugh, and they did, it worked. A funny story is the only story we can truly measure for effect. And even then, how much they laugh will vary. As speakers we aren't stand-up comics, so we don't have to get a laugh every thirty seconds. Even if they don't laugh, it's okay. Nobody's counting. Our speeches don't have to be all or nothing on the laugh track. Just make sure you didn't make your story too long for a weak pay off at the end. Like the guy who tells a thirty minute joke that led to a weak punchline. Yeah. Don't be that guy.

If the story proved your point, it worked.

Stop asking if they liked it. The point is not how much they liked it. The point is whether the story illustrates your point. Was there a reason for telling it? Did it make sense to the structure of your speech?

Don't look for the best story, look for the right story. Then make it better.

The shorter the story, the better the chance that they liked it.

And even if they didn't, it doesn't matter. Nobody really judges a story that only lasted a minute or two. So you're safe. Hopefully you had some reason for telling it - even to get a laugh and shift the energy for a moment. Nothing wrong with random funnies woven through your talk. Trust me.

And, by the way, if your story isn't about a character with a conflict, it might not really be a story anyway. It's probably more of an example. So don't sweat it. It's fine as long as your example isn't too long.

If your story is more than five minutes, then you had better make sure it is powerful and interesting and we don't get bored. Make sure it's not loaded down with details we don't really care about. Just sprinkle details that allow me to see the story in my head and have context. But don't make it too heavy. Force yourself to write every story five minutes or less, and you'll figure out what belongs and what doesn't.

Don't judge the story on their face or their words.

There is no way you can tell by their expression whether they like the story - except for those who are bouncing up and down and smiling as you go. They are rare. People listen in different ways. They even listen as they doodle. They do not, however, listen if they have left the room. Yeah. That's a good sign they weren't all in. Or if they're talking to their neighbor.

Don't expect them to walk up to you afterwards and tell them how much that story changed their life. Even if it did, they probably won't come up and tell you. Audiences just don't do that. You can't take a survey either. Not cool. Let it go. They might not even have had an opinion until you ask for one, and then they'll give you an opinion that they never really had, but feel pressured to answer. So just don't go there.

However....all that being said. If you audience looks puzzled or confused, then something's up. It means they probably can't hear. They don't understand what you just said. Or it doesn't make sense to them. Just like in a conversation (remember, speeches aren't performances, they are conversations - just with an audience who doesn't really talk back) you have to respond to the one you're talking to. Read their body language. Harder to do on stage. And hard to do when you're just beginning. But you'll get there.

As a speaker, the more you speak, the more you will start to feel the audience. You will just know when they are tuned in, and when they aren't. Until then you just have to do the best you can, put the best work out there possible, and see where it lands. Sometimes the story gets crafted on stage. Well - not totally. But you know what I mean. The first time you tell it is nothing like the hundredth time you tell it. The more you practice, the more you bring it to life and fine tune it to what it needs to be.

Ask your client

The one who booked you is the one you need to please. So ask them. Don't ask if they liked you. Ask them what elements resonated with their audience. These meeting planners know exactly what their people do and don't like.

People like stories that are interesting

As speakers we tend to be a little bit self-absorbed. We think everything we say is interesting. Stories that happened to us are more interesting than if they happened to someone else. So when you're considering a new story, picture it as if someone else were telling it. Would you care?

Most of the stories we tell as speakers are average ordinary stories. Not many of us have been blown up or won gold medals. We're just telling stories about real life examples of the truths that we teach. This doesn't mean they are all boring. It just means we have to work a little harder to make them interesting. And even harder to make sure we stick to what needs to be said. And even harder to make sure we use fewer yet more powerful words to do it.

Here are some ways to make your story more interesting:

• Show me, don't tell me (don't step outside and tell me about - stand in it and describe)
• Explain why this story matters so much to you (if I understand your personal attachment to it, it means more to me)
• Include emotion - not just what happened, but how it made you/them feel (as listeners we don't connect to the plot, we connect to the feelings)

Okay. That's all I've got. If you just remember that stories are a tool to persuade, and you need to use the tool in the right way, you'll be fine. It's when we try to be entertainers or comedians that we can get into trouble.

Have fun! And if you need my help, you know where to find me.

PS I have another Story Crafting Camp coming up this summer. It's AMAZING. Check it out. www.StoryCraftingCamp.com