How to Kill Every New Idea

When we were growing up, my brother and I invented - or maybe stole - the concept of "our man in Maine". As teenagers and then young adults, we would discuss how convenient it would be to have a guy at some distant office. His only job would be to say no to anyone who called... but to do so in a polite and extended manner.

Would our startup like to hire an excellent web development company? "Maybe, but our guy in Maine handles that."

Would I be interested in donating money to some obscure and dubious charity? "Sounds very interesting... could you call my associate in Maine?"

At the heart of this silly game was the natural human desire to have an absolutely foolproof - and very easy - way to kill ideas we did not like.

We, of course, were goofy and inelegant in our solution, being too junior and poor to have an associate, well, anywhere.

But others have long perfected the art of idea killing...

"I love it! But let's take it one step further: This is one way that Hollywood kills original ideas. A studio exec might tell a producer, "Wow, what a powerful idea to structure a movie around a 93-year-old man who can't speak or move. But let's take it one step further and make it about a gorgeous 20-year-old woman who can't stop moving and leads us on a wild adventure across Europe and Asia."

Pretend you didn't hear it: Many female professionals complain this happens to them all the time. For example, imagine a woman in a meeting who suggests a logical solution to the problem being discussed. No one reacts to her idea or even acknowledges her presence. Ten minutes later, a guy says the same thing and a chorus sings, "That's genius!" Of course, the guy has no idea what the idea he just stole actually means, so nothing happens.

Agree, but refuse to discuss: "Yes, yes, yes," says the executive. "You're exactly right. Brilliant insight." Excited by his endorsement of your idea, you try to follow up. "So you'll approve my budget?" He nods while saying, "Give me time to think about this."

He will be "thinking" for the rest of eternity. Your idea is dead. He hated it.

"I wish we could afford that.": After six months of trying to get a 3% raise for your team, you finally go over your boss's boss's head. You present your exceptionally well-reasoned argument why a token raise would increase morale and actually result in a revenue increase of 15% or more. The payback would occur in mere weeks. The executive across the table looks really sad. "I wish we could afford that," he says.

You struggle for weeks afterward to understand how any business can't afford to make a near-instant profit on such a modest investment. You miss the point. "I wish we could afford that" doesn't mean "I wish we could afford that."

It means no.

There are as many ways to say no as there are organizations in our world. You need to learn the conventions in your workplace so that you can tell the difference between someone who is sincerely considering your ideas versus killing them as quickly as possible.

Never pitch original ideas to a professional idea killer. Instead, find someone who is thirsty for original ideas.

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