How to Keep Your Employees (and Your Job)!

Any collection of human beings, be it a nuclear family, a neighborhood, a village, a city, a county, a state/province/canton, a country, or, yes, even a company, becomes a society when their numbers reach a certain level. At that point, societal norms are created. Group think sets in and fun happens. That's what I call "culture," and nothing is more important to a successful hire than having a good cultural fit. In fact, research has shown that culture "can account for nearly 30 percent of business performance" (Boyatzis and McKee, p.21). For the record, I disagree. I think it is well above 50 percent, maybe even 75.

Now human beings are fickle. They change over time. Sometimes it is for the good, sometimes for the bad. So, to use an extreme example, you can have a culture that produced a Bach and a Beethoven and then, in what from the perspective of human history amounts to a blink of an eye, that same culture produces a Hitler.

It is the primary job, the responsibility, of a business owner to make certain that the one thing about their company that is stable, that never changes, is its values. The basic fundamental principles on which a company is founded must never change. No matter the pressure, from Day One, every hire has to understand that "this is how we do things here and if you don't like it, we wish you the best of luck."

A simple example that I like to use is IBM vs. Google. I don't know if it is still the case, but in ancient times everyone at IBM (of course, the men) had to wear a dark blue suit, white shirt, red tie, and black shoes and socks. If you will, that was the uniform. It represented their culture: conservative. Then there is Google. I don't know how much of an exaggeration this is but I have been in their Manhattan offices and I doubt I'm off by much. At Google the dress code appears to be, wear whatever you want as long as everything that should be covered is covered. It too represents their culture: liberal.

(One main difference I can also attest to, seeing that, many years ago, I was at IBM's Armonk, New York, headquarters [it's basically a museum], IBM had [has?] separate restrooms for men and women, while at Google they share facilities.)

So you have IBM on one extreme and Google on the other. There is nothing inherently wrong with either (although I think the shared restrooms are a lawsuit waiting to happen!). But someone who is comfortable at an IBM will not be comfortable at a Google, and vice versa. They simply will not be a cultural fit.

How does this thing called "culture" form? In one of two ways:

The founder of the company simply dictates how things are going to be: No visible tattoos or body piercing. After working for one year at the company you can work one day a week from home. Everyone gets a year-end bonus based on the company's net profits, but deducted from those net profits, before anyone gets anything, is 20% which is given to the NRA or Planned Parenthood or some other charity with, or without, your input. Dogs are welcome, but no cats! It is explained that the boss is demanding but he believes in leaving his people alone to do what they were hired to do. He likes people who ask questions. Or, he is a "helicopter boss," always hovering and micromanaging. In either case, he expects results. That's what he is paying for and that is what he wants. He also wants a friendly atmosphere, based on mutual respect; no extreme political correctness will be tolerated. You don't bring your politics, religion or personal life into the workplace. These rules are explained to you by HR when you arrive for your initial interview. Since you object to the NRA or Planned Parenthood, you politely withdraw. Or you are a cat lover! Or you hate being micromanaged. Or you like what you hear and want to continue the process. You buy-in from the beginning, get and accept the job offer, and you help the company grow. Simple. The culture is dictated to you and you accept it or reject it. Over time, some things may be added, some may be removed, but the fundamentals will always remain.

Of course, this is the case for many established companies. In theory, this is what every founder wants, from the very beginning, their company, their way. And, when she, the boss, only has a few employees, it works. They feel like a family. Everyone gets along. Issues never become problems. Everyone works together. There is no need for formality. Personnel handbook? What personnel handbook? We don't need no stinkin' personnel handbook! (Apologies to Mel Books.)

This brings us to the second way a culture forms:

The company now starts to grow. As it grows, the corporate culture begins to develop. To quote Yuval Harari, "You cannot run a division with thousands of soldiers the same way you run a platoon." Now a company culture does not start to form when a company hires its one-thousandth employee. I'd say it begins to form when it gets to double digits, maybe as few as 10, if not fewer. How? As Harari notes, "strangers can cooperate successfully by believing in common myths...that exist only in people's collective imagination" (p. 27). Culture is all about cooperation. If you are not cooperating you and not forming a society. No society, no culture.

His description of "myths" is enlightening. "There are no gods in the universe, no nations, no money, no human rights, no laws, no justice outside the imagination of human beings" (p.28). If you think about it, he's right. By the same token, there is no customer service, no HR rules and regulations, no pay scale. They are all figments of our collective imaginations. They exist because we believe they exist.

Consider the legal fallacies that have been created to deal with societal problems. (Statement of the obvious: I am not an attorney and, fair warning, some of you will not like what is coming.) I tried, but these may not be in chronological order, but that does not matter. None of the following is "really" real, only "legally" real:

1. Statutory Rape. There were laws against statutory rape in Colonial America (https://www.sunypress.edu/pdf/60840.pdf) when, if I am reading this article correctly, the norm was an age of consent of 10 or 12! (OK. I get it. Families had to be large because the children had to work the farm. Many, if not most, of the children would die young, so you needed a lot of pregnancies and so the mother had to start early. It was logical. But still, 10?!?) But let's fast forward to the present. If a 16-year-old and a 21-year-old engage in sexual relations, freely, they're consensual, and, if they are in New Jersey, their parents may have a problem with what they have done, I may think it is wrong, but not the law. If, however, they were to stroll across the border into New York, the 21-year-old would be guilty of statutory rape. Same people. Same act. Totally different law. The 21-year-old would not be guilty of rape rape, meaning forcibly engaging in sex, only statutory rape. A legally created fallacy, or, to use Harari's term, "myth," to protect children.
2. Corporations. The first corporation was formed in the United States in the 1790s. (Google it!) Corporations, as Mitt Romney famously (or is it "infamously"?) stated, are people too. And they are. They have many of the rights and obligations of real life, flesh and blood, human citizens. For example, they can incur debt, they can sue, they can be sued, and they (should) pay taxes. But they are not people. They are not real citizens. They are legal citizens. A legally created myth to protect capitalism.
3. Adoption. Now, before you start screaming, read... In 1851 adoption became legal in the US (Google it!). Better adoptive parents than an orphanage. (Read Dickens!) But those adoptive parents, and adoptive parents may be better than the real thing (and too often are!) they are not the child's real parents, only their adoptive parents, their legal parents. Another legally created myth to protect children.
4. Death. You are fed up reading moronic articles on LinkedIn, being tweeted day in and day out, and having to watch a parade of narcissists on Facebook. People don't talk to each other any more, they text, even when standing right beside each other! You have had enough. You empty your bank account and escape to a South Sea island. Or, you hit your head, your wallet is stolen, you are in a strange city, no one knows you, you don't even know you. Or, for any other reason, willingly or not, you disappear. You have a spouse. You have a business partner. You have life insurance policies. Your spouse needs the money and wants to remarry. Your partner needs the money and wants to close deals for which your signature is required. Or whatever. You are gone without a trace. Seven years later (I think; this one isn't clear, it may be only four or five years - Google it!), your spouse or partner, can have you declared legally dead from the time you were reported missing. Now, for our purposes, you are alive and well on that aforementioned island, but legally, you are now dead. You are not dead dead, you are legally dead. A legally created myth to protect families and businesses.

Now all of these are "myths" because we all believe them even though we know they are not really real. And they form an important part of our culture because they provide safety and security in different ways. The next and final example, is not universally accepted but, since it is the most recent, I chose to include it, as well as for another reason, as you will see.

5. Same-sex marriage. First, it's not "same-sex marriage." The purpose was not to allow two heterosexuals of the same gender to marry in order for one to bestow rights on the other. The purpose was for two homosexuals of the same biological/birth/desired gender to be able to marry and to bestow rights on each other. Of course, for millennia, marriage has been between a man and a woman. As many a child has been told, and accepted without question, "Boys can't marry boys and girls can't marry girls." Children aren't stupid, they get it, until they are forced to be confused. Then parents have to "unconfuse" them! But homosexuals have a great lobby in liberals who succeeded in making it virtually impossible for a child who is having gender identity problems to receive mental health treatment (real treatment, not crackpot treatment!) so, for the most part, when it comes to homosexuals, I guess the attitude is, who cares? They want to get married, let them. If they really want to believe they are married, who cares? As the joke goes, "Why should we," meaning heterosexuals, "be the only ones who suffer?" So legislatures and courts made it legal for two homosexuals of the same gender, real or desired, to marry. They are not married married, they are legally married. And this legal myth was created, for sake of argument, to protect homosexuals.

This survey is a great example of how, "since the Cognitive Revolution Homo sapiens has been able to revise its behavior rapidly in accordance with changing needs" (Harari, p. 33.) "Rapidly" is the key word and another reason why I ended with "same-sex marriage." It took thousands of years for this change to happen. A thousand years, in the course of human history is nothing. A thousand years for a company, well, there is no such thing. But a decade for a century-old firm, two decades, a case could be made that that is "in the blink of an eye." Change happens and it happens quickly, even if you don't realize it at the time.

This is what get's us to "culture." As Harari notes, "The immense diversity of imagined realities that Sapiens invented, and the resulting diversity of behavior patterns, are the main components of what we call 'cultures.' Once cultures appeared, they never ceased to change and develop, and these unstoppable alterations are what we call 'history'" (p. 37).

So, over time, human beings, in constant contact with each other, develop processes to accomplish goals. Those processes become their shared culture. Eventually, the story of how that culture came to be, is their history.

Just as an aside, corporate history is very important, no less so than human history. Every employee is replaceable. But if someone has worked for a company for, say, 20 years, while someone can be found to do their job, no one will be able to be found who has their knowledge - the 20 years of history stored in their brains which gives them a advantage over everyone else. While I can, and have, picked up a book and learned the subjective (meaning what the author believes to be true) history of entire nations, only rarely can you pick up a book and learn the history of a company. And, even then, it will be irrelevant history. The history stored in the employee's brain is the history of the relationships with this client, that customer, and those vendors, not to mention HR issues. That is what their replacement needs to know, not how and why the company was formed and became the first unicorn. It may be interesting and nice to include in a speech, but it won't solve a single current problem faced by the new hire!

How do you create a workplace culture?

If it is not imposed from above, then it had to come from below, stewarded from above. And that takes time. The culture has to evolve. Everyone will impact the final result. Someone who is a great positive influence may leave. Someone who is an negative influence might stay.

Allow me to digress for a moment. You have two employees: Jane is great. Everyone respects her. But she is not your best producer. She is perfect in every way except the bottom line. She just is not contributing, financially speaking. Jack on the other hand, is your best producer, but he is self-centered, a negative influence, a morale killer, and just an overall nasty character. Look up "jerk" in the dictionary and you will find his picture. But he pays the bills - including the salaries of his co-workers who hate him. Someone has to go. Who do you get rid of? You get rid of Jack. Why? Because eventually he'll cause everyone else to leave. He probably can't be trusted. He reflects poorly on your company. And, frankly, with him out the door the other members of the team may do better. Their productivity may increase because their morale will increase. The person who "sucked the oxygen out of the room" is gone! The Jacks of the world create horrible cultures. The Janes of the world create great cultures - even if bankers don't like them!

But to get back to creating a positive culture... you need three things. I call them...

The Trilogy of Triumph - Communication, Accountability/Responsibility, Authority

I believe it was Socrates who said, "Know thyself." (What? I'm going to argue with Socrates? I don't think so. But I will embellish a bit.) You not only have to know yourself, you also have to know your colleagues. But you can't know someone else until and unless you know yourself.

There are aptitude tests/assessments that some employers swear by. One such test which is very popular is called DiSC. You take the test and it tells you if you are a "D," an "I," an "S," or a "C." (I always wonder, what comes first the acronym or what it supposedly represents?) In my humble opinion, it's all nonsense. As one friend, who has been in sales for over half a century, once told me, anyone can become a great salesperson if they have the right trainer/teacher/coach. And I say the same is true for any profession. The greatest teacher of all time was Anne Sullivan. If she, a blind woman, could teach Heller Keller, I am certain there is someone out there who could teach me to be a mathematician! (Applications are not being accepted!)

I have had to take the DiSC assessment a few times. The results are always the same. I'm a "high C." Rubbish.

According to Ernst (pp. 68-69), the characteristics of a "D" are "Ambitious, Forceful, Decisive, Direct, Independent, Challenging;" an "I" are "Expressive, Enthusiastic, Friendly, Demonstrative, Talkative, Stimulating;" an "S" are "Methodical, Systematic, Reliable, Steady, Relaxed, Modest," and "C" are "Analytical, Contemplative, Conservative, Exacting, Careful, Deliberate." Now, to be fair, he makes it clear that "all of these dimensions are present in every one of us and represent our 'total behavior.' Each is a continuum, not a black and white choice." And then he correctly continues, "By learning to appreciate and work with all types of people, we help everyone grow and prosper." (p. 80) - which is, of course, how a culture is created.

So why do I say DiSC is rubbish? While I to have all of the traits of a "C," I also have all of the traits of a "D," and I think they are more important. And if you want to get along with me you have to accept the fact that I am "decisive" and "direct," the rest don't really matter. That is what causes people the most trouble when they work with me. I can make decisions quickly, I can explain them logically, and I am very direct. I coddle children, not adults. That bothers some people. But that is how I am. When I am dealing with someone who needs a lot of hand-holding, I don my teacher's cap and consider them a student. They become my project. I enjoy it, up to a point. If it becomes clear that the individual just is not willing to learn, I wash my hands of them and return them to the boss!

Personally, as long as you are not a liar, you honor your commitments (deadlines), try your best, don't keep me waiting (for a meeting), listen before speaking (no interrupting!), and are willing to learn, we will get along quite nicely, thank you very much. Otherwise, we are going to have a problem and the culture will have to solve it. That's why culture exists, to decide between right and wrong.

The first time I took the DiSC assessment was when an assessor wanted me to send him my career counseling clients to be assessed. I told him I did not take assessments seriously, but I would give it a try. I had one condition: I told him that the results had to be sent to me directly. He could get a copy, but I had to get one too. And I did. This is what I received:

Why bother spending the time and money taking an assessment when the company clearly admits it could be wrong, and advises that before you decide if their conclusions are right or wrong, "check with friends and colleagues to see if they agree?" Just ask them! Ask them to be honest. Like I said, the assessment is rubbish.

So what does "ask them" mean? Some call it a "360-degree evaluation." That means the boss tells you what you think of her, and she tells you what she thinks of you. But that's not what I mean. We'll get to those in a minute. They are "evaluations" not "character assessments." For present purposes, I mean that you ask your friends, relatives, colleagues, anyone who knows you and who you respect, for honest feedback. (So it's really a 180- degree evaluation!) It has to be honest and you have to make it clear that you will not be offended by whatever they tell you. Again, I will use myself as the example.

Years ago I was not happy with my progress at work. So I asked people who I knew, and who I knew knew me, and who would be honest, what they really thought of me. I was shocked to learn, after the mandatory compliments, that despite my multitude of great qualities, I did not listen, I was rude, I was blunt, and I did not take other people's views into consideration. I was shocked!

But I was also appreciative. I had asked for the truth and I got it. So after, with all do modesty, organizing absolutely magnificent memorial services for those poor misguided souls, may they rest in peace, I thought about what they said. I knew they were wrong, but they did not know it. After all, impression is reality and if that was their impression of me, then it was also my reality. So I sat down and I considered why there existed a total discrepancy between my self-image and their image of me. (Because, by the way, if this was not clear, they all said the same thing!)

I put everything they said under the heading of "decision making." By so doing, I simplified the problem. My favorite word in the English language is "polymath." Don't know what it means? Look it up! I would like to consider myself a polymath, admittedly on a modest scale. (Probably the greatest polymath of all time was da Vinci. I ain't no da Vinci!) But I know a thing or two about a thing or two and I have studied decision making. I know the academic process for effective decision making and I know the real-world process for effective decision making. Once I have all the facts, I can make a decision. This can take minutes; this can take days. It depends. (Sometimes I have had to make decisions in seconds. That's what people in a position of authority do.)

I realized that because of the speed of my decision making people thought I was not listening to them, that I was not taking their advice/opinions into account, and since I would just blurt out my decisions, I was being rude. So I changed. Now I repeat what people tell me. "I understand that you believe..." Then I explain my thinking. "This reminds me of..." And then I end with, "So I believe we should do ... because..." And then I ask, "If you disagree, show me the fault in my logic." And some people do. (I always order too much food for these memorial services!) And some, frankly most, don't. When I have the authority to make a decision, I make it, and I implement it. If I need help, I ask for volunteers. If someone is against the decision, I respect their view and they do not have to participate. No hard feelings. I only want to work with "Janes," not "Jacks." And I not only say, "If you don't want to be involved, it won't be held against you," I mean it and prove it by making certain that the next time around I invite them to participate (and, for the most part, they do).

So that's the self-evaluation. Now, just to complete the picture, and to return to the 360-degree evaluation, you might give your employees an annual evaluation. Bad idea! Again, I will use myself as an example.

After university, I had been working at relatively small non-profits. I then moved to one that was rather large. They had a formal annual evaluation process. For me, this was a first. I was a bit nervous. It went something like this:

My boss took out a form which was exactly my job description with space added for a score and comments. She told me she could not give me a perfect score on everything so she gave me four out of five, or whatever, on a couple of things, and reassured me I deserved a "perfect" on everything. She then handed the evaluation to me and asked me to sign it and comment on it. I asked, "Comment on what?" She said, "On the evaluation." I asked if I could get it back to her the next day. She looked baffled but said I could.

I totally misunderstood what she expected. She meant that I should comment on my specific evaluation. (What was I going to say, I wasn't perfect?!?) I took it to mean that I should comment on the process. And that was what I did, destroying, in the process, my relationship with HR! (Luckily for me, the director did not last long.)

I basically said that the evaluation was ridiculous. If I was not performing my duties well, I should not hear about it annually; I should hear about it instantly. If I wasn't working well with a donor in January (in those days I was a fundraiser), and my review was in September, I should not hear about it nine months later. I should have heard about it there and then on the spot so that I could have corrected what was wrong and not, presumably, continue what I was doing, until September. If I was doing everything correctly, I should also not have to wait until my annual review to hear about it. I should hear about it immediately. It is always nice to know you are appreciated. If you work hard on something, and no one tells you you are doing a good job, I opined, then maybe they will think they are unappreciated and move on to find work elsewhere.

The experts bear this out. "Deliberate practice," we are told, "requires that a manager or employee receives helpful feedback every day, yet most people only receive it during their annual review" (Hansen, p. 66). Of course, I did not know this at the time; I was merely expressing my own opinion.

If that was not bad enough, I then said, the entire form should be thrown away. The job description did not matter. That should be a given. The form should focus on what the employee has been doing over and above what appears on the job description. By all means, point out corrections made or not made, but focusing on the job description is really just focusing on the supervisor to see whether she is doing her job, not if the employee is doing his!

All hell broke lose. My boss showed it to her boss, the CEO, who showed it to the director of HR. They all wanted to know why I wrote what I wrote. I said, "Because I was told to comment on the evaluation." They realized my innocence and that I was not trying to cause trouble - meaning work - for HR. I was forgiven for my sin, and all future evaluations were pro forma. I just signed and wrote, "Thank you." (Once my supervisor completed the form before I arrived, she just handed it to me, I read it, signed it, and the entire process was over in a minute - literally!)

So I do not put a lot of stock in annual performance reviews. But if you, the employee, receive one, take it in the spirit in which it is given. Try to learn from it. And if you disagree with the evaluation, ask for a series of meetings to work on the problems. If your supervisor refuses, complain to HR. Trust me, I am willing to bet, that the supervisor wants you out and nothing you do will remedy the situation. You have nothing to lose, all you have is what to gain - time, to look for a new job!

So now you know yourself and by observing your colleagues, you can know them too. There is no need for some phony-baloney assessment tool. Talk to them. Go to lunch. Don't talk about work, talk about life. Ask them what they like; ask them what they dislike. It's really that simple. But maybe not...

I am a big believer in diversity. (See Hansen, p. 149.) If everyone on the team looks like you, why hire them? Buy some mirrors. You will probably save a lot of money because your competition will crush you a lot faster than if you are working with a bunch of people just like you. You want people on your team from different generations, genders, races, religions, nationalities, etc. They will be able to relate to a wide array of potential and actual customers or clients, not to mention situations, in ways that you cannot. They will provide insights and perspectives that you simply do not have. Of course, this can make it a little more complicated to get to know someone. It's not simply, "Bruce likes people who are direct, so just get to the point and tell him what you want, need or are feeling." It's also, "Bruce is Jewish. When we go to lunch, make certain that the restaurant offers something other than pork or shellfish." It's the little things that matter and can make all the difference.

Once, when I was put in charge of a project, I called all the team members together and had the unmitigated nerve to ask them, "What do we need to know about you in order to work well with you?" I started so that they knew what I expected and that they could speak freely. I made it clear that everything said would remain in the room, no exceptions. Then we went around the room. We got to know each other and began to respect each other. We had an idea about, or an appreciation for, each others' personalities. We knew what to do and, more importantly, what not to do when interacting with each other. These people were adults. They were made to feel safe. They could share without fear of recrimination, being degraded, embarrassed or humiliated. And they did (share). No assessments. No tools. Just mature dialogue (and a few very bad jokes!). When you treat people like adults, you don't need gimmicks.

Imagine this scenario: You go to your dry cleaner. He says to you, "I want us to work together. The way you look at work is part of your persona. It's my job to make certain you look and feel professional. I need to get to know you. So I want you to go home and take the DiSC assessment. Then I'll know how to work best with you and you will be a happy customer!" You leave, go to his closest competitor, and she asks you, "Starch or no starch?" Whose getting your business and who are you taking seriously?

Just to conclude my story, we completed the project on time, under budget and without a single interpersonal problem. (Well, that's not entirely true. One member of the group turned out to be very inconsiderate. As we were approaching the end of the project she decided, after waiting nine full months, that it was time to have her baby. And when I called her on it and asked why should could not have waited another week or so, she blamed the child! Some people... But we got our revenge. We unanimously decided to remove her name from the final report and, in it's place, we wrote, the baby's name "'s" followed by "mommy." I got a kiss on the cheek for that. (Today, HR would probably complain about "inappropriate touching" and have everyone take a course on cultural sensitivity and respecting each other's space!)

When you are self-aware, and aware of your colleagues, you have achieved what is called "mindfulness." "Mindfulness is the capacity to be fully aware of all that one experience[s] inside the self - body, mind, heart, spirit - and to pay full attention to what is happening around us - the people, the natural world, our surroundings, and events" (Boyatzis and McKee, p. 112).

Now we can turn to our Trilogy.

Communication

The key to any successful relationship is communication. In 1967, UCLA professor Albert Mehrabian discovered that 55% of communication is Visual, 38% is Vocal, and only 7% is Verbiage. I called this "the three Vs." In a now outdated textbook that I wrote so long ago it is not worth citing, I concluded, "The key to an effective presentation is, therefore, to make certain your body language and tone of voice complement, not contradict, your words."

My point is that we communicate with our bodies as much as with our words, in fact, more so. It is therefore imperative that we be aware of the non-verbal messages we are sending. Just think about it. I know you have looked at someone and thought, "They are having a bad day." They said not a word; uttered not a sound. But still, you knew. That's body language. And it is called being human. Some people you can approach and ask if you can offer assistance. Others you have to avoid; they will not appreciate your efforts, no matter how sincere. It's the problem with dealing with people. But you learn from experience.

Of course, you must be certain that you get your message across and, in this regard, I truly believe that my way is the only way. You have to be direct. You can't equivocate. That will lead to misunderstandings. If there is a problem, you deal with it then and there on the spot. If you see something wrong, you have to respond. It does not matter if the person committing the wrongful act is a peer, a subordinate or a supervisor, you must react. Politely, yes. Directly, absolutely. After all, you may have misunderstood what you saw or heard, or they may not have realized what they did. In that case, they should be appreciative. That's why you take them aside and don't confront them in public. And if they don't care or agree with you, escalate to a supervisor. You have no choice. If you remain silent, you are just as much to blame when disaster strikes as if you were the actual one committing the offense. Procrastination solves nothing; it usually makes matters worse. So waiting is not an option.

Accountability/Responsibility

This brings me to accountability and responsibility which I consider to be the same side, not the opposite sides, of the same coin. (Our next topic, Authority, is what I would place on the opposite side of the coin.)

You work for a company. That is how you earn the money you make to pay your bills. Whatever your job, you are responsible for the success of the company. As the expression goes, "See something, say something." If formally you are only accountable for your specific job, informally you are responsible for much more. And having that attitude, that you will react when you see something that you think is not right, may just get you a promotion. It's called "leadership." But you have to do it the right way. Again, this is simple.

Jane: (Quietly.) Jack, may I ask you a question? Why did you just tell that customer that it will take 72 hours to get back to her? You know our policy is always to respond within one business day.

Jack: (Quietly) Jane, that was not a customer. That was my idiot brother-in-law!

They both laugh. No problem.

Jane: (Quietly) Jack, can I help with something? We get and keep our customers because we promise to get back to them within a day and you just told that person it will take 72 hours.

Jack: (Very loudly) Can you help? I am talking on the phone to my idiot brother-in-law and now, apparently, I am having a fight with a colleague who can't mind her own business!

No one laughs. Problem.

Jane: (Quietly) Jack, a moment if I may. Is there a problem. You know we promise 24-hour turnaround time, why 72 for that customer?

Jack: (Quietly) Good catch but foul ball. We have been emailing back and forth. He's going out of town for a couple of days and wants to be in the office when we arrive to make the repair. That's all. You only heard the middle and end of the conversation, not the beginning.

Smiles all around. No problem.

Jane: (Quietly) Jack, a moment if I may. Is there are problem. You know we promise 24-hour turnaround time, why 72 for that customer?

Jack: (Loudly) Who do you think you are telling me how to do my job? Mind your own business!

Jane: (Quietly) This is my business and I'll have to address it with Mary (their supervisor).

Big time problem, at least for Jack. Jane should be just fine.

The important thing is to be polite. Don't jump to conclusions. Ask questions. As noted, you may have gotten it wrong. Just because you see or hear something does not mean you understand it. And, as I said, but it deserves repeating, do not procrastinate. Things rarely ever get better; they almost always get worse. Jack could just be having a really bad day. He could be having problems at home. Mary will deal with it. Maybe Jack will apologize to Jane. Maybe he won't. But Jane really did nothing wrong in any of these scenarios (although she assumed Jack was on a business not a personal call). And the reason she was able to react the way she did was because of the corporate culture. This is what Boyatzis and McKee are referring to when they write, "People [in the workplace] demonstrate obvious, tangible care and concern for one another, and yet they are direct and hold each other accountable for getting the job done and living the company's values" (p.25).

Speaking of values, there is only one way for the culture I have described, where everyone holds everyone else accountable, to work. As Natalie Dumond, the chief culture officer at Miovision, whose website notes it's mission as being to "improve mobility and liveability in cities of all sizes," explains, "Our goal was to create a culture of trust built through courageous feedback, where employees leaned into vulnerability and sought out feedback from colleagues one-on-one. We envisaged a culture where employees have the courage and skills to say the hard things to their peers, and where leaders see the value in candor and how different conversations lead to growth." (Quoted in Brown, p. 206.)

Accountability does not just mean holding people accountable. It means holding yourself accountable as well! It's also about recognition.

I can remember reading a story years ago, about a CEO who was just going for a walk in the office to get a snack when he overhead one of his people on the phone with a customer. When the conversation ended, he went over to the employee and congratulated him on a job well done. He then said he was sorry he had nothing to give him. Then, realizing he was holding a banana, he gave it to him! Well, that banana stayed on the man's desk until Nature demanded it's removal. Getting a banana from the boss became the prize everyone wanted. It meant more than a bonus. A pat on the back, means something. In some cases, it means everything!

While I don't remember who the banana giver was, Colleen Barrett, the former president of Southwest Airlines, used to send handwritten notes to her employees commending them for their "creativity and hard work" (Boyatzis and McKee, p. 31). Timely recognition is important, not just because it lets staff know they are appreciated, but also because, many projects are long-term and the final results may not be known for weeks, months or even years (p. 49). Waiting that long to say, "Well done," is stupid. By the time you say "Well done" the employee who did the work may be long gone.

The numbers speak for themselves. According to research, at Hershey, employee recognition increased employee satisfaction by 11% and retention of new hires at LinkedIn rose by 10 points when employees received recognition four or more times. (Brown, p. 84.) Recognize your employees!

All that being true, the recognition has to be real. One interesting survey found that while 80% of supervisors claimed that they frequently recognized their supervisees, only 20% of those very same supervisees said they were recognized. A lack of recognition has been listed as the top reason people leave their jobs. (Heath, p. 146.) Recognize your employees!

But there is a downside. As Dweck warns (p.137): "We now have a workforce full of people who need constant reassurance and can't take criticism. Not a recipe for success in business, where taking on challenges, showing persistence, and admitting and correcting mistakes are essential." Her solution?

Instead of just giving employees an award for the smartest idea or praise for a brilliant performance, [give] praise for taking initiative, for seeing a difficult task through, for struggling and learning something new, and for being undaunted by a setback, or for being open to and acting on criticism. Maybe it could be praise for not needing constant praise! (p. 137)

In other words, recognize effort, not just results.

Authority

Now we flip the coin!

An employee can and should be responsible for something, and held accountable for it, but that means they must also have the authority to make it happen. Without authority, a person is merely an underling doing the grunt work for someone else. Sometimes, that is the reality. But if that is the reality for someone you want to be a leader in your company, you are making a mistake. If that is the reality for someone you want to leave your company, you are doing a great job!

What's more, without authority, the employee will not believe that they seriously have the wherewithal to fulfill their responsibilities. You can't have one without the other.

But when you give people responsibility and authority, and hold them accountable, (and you, Boss, also have to be willing to be held accountable!) you also have to be willing to allow them to fail. No, I am not going to recite all the lame quotes about there being no such thing as failure and you can't fail if you learn from the experience. They are lame. This is the reality:

Jack Welch of GE fame was not always Jack Welch of GE fame. Once upon a time, he was the Jack Welch who literally blew the roof off of the building where he, a young engineer, had been working. As he drove to corporate headquarters to face the music, contemplating his fate, he was surprised by what awaited him. Instead of being fired and handed a bill for the damages, "the treatment he received was understanding and supportive" (Dweck, p. 127). And that's how "Jack Welch of GE fame," became "Jack Welch of GE fame," and not, "There was this idiot we hired years ago, I don't remember his name, but..."

Of course, all of this is fine and good, but human beings, at least the ones you want working for you, are always trying to grow, to better themselves. What's the saying? I want to leave the world better than how I found it. Well, you also want your employees to leave your company better than how they found it.

My definition of a failed employment is not having been fired. That's just a mistake. A failed employment is one where, when the employee leaves, their replacement gets the same job description they received when they arrived. In other words, an employee who does not grow their position, and does not grow in their position, is a failure. That is why offering employee training and development opportunities is crucial. And if they don't want them, you don't want them! And that should be part of the corporate culture. Everyone grows on the job. No one stagnates. Because if your employees stagnate, guess what happens to your company!

There is also an unintended advantage to a culture that supports professional development. If you believe in learning, it is hard to write someone off just because they are not succeeding. I don't like teachers, or supervisors, who focus on their students' or supervisees' strengths. Those are their strengths. They know how to do whatever it is that they are doing. You should focus on their weaknesses. If you can help them get good at something they previously were weak at, the results may astound you. First, the employee will be grateful. Second, they will become more confident. Third, they will now be able to contribute more to the business. Fourth, whether you know it or not, you just turned them into a leader because when they hear someone say, "I can't do that," they'll say, "Let me tell you something..." And with the right motivation, anyone can achieve anything:

George Danzig was a graduate student in math at Berkeley. One day, as usual, he rushed into math class and quickly copied the two homework assignments from the blackboard. When he later went to do them, he found them very difficult, and it took him several days of hard work to crack them open and solve them. They turned out not to be homework problems at all. They were two famous math problems that had never been solved. (Dweck, p. 58.)

First lesson: Don't be late! Second lesson: Not knowing you can't do something may be the key to success! With the right motivation, a pat on the back, encouragement, knowing that your boss believes in you, or fearing you are going to flunk out of Berkeley, it's amazing what a person can accomplish - especially if they don't know it can't be done!

What Do Employers Need to Keep their Employees (or What do Employees Want)?

So what is the first thing employers need to give their employees if they want them to stay? The authority to do their job. That means that if you hire someone to do something, you let them do it. You trust them. You don't micromanage them. By all means, especially at the start of their employment, get regular updates on how they are doing. But I know of some bosses who literally stand over their employees when they are working, listening to their phone calls and watching what they are typing on their computers. No trust. No respect. No authority. And, within a very short time, no employee!

Now it's all fine and good to give someone responsibility, accountability and authority, but they also need the practical means to do their job. If there's no budget, who cares about responsibility, accountability and authority?

Employers need to provide their employees with the feeling that they are doing good. That is not a grammatical error! Many companies encourage their employees to volunteer on company time for causes in which they believe. It has almost become standard operating practice. But similar to that, some companies help employees when they are in distress. The New Jersey-based call center, Appletree, for example, has it's own version of a "Make-a-Wish Foundation." When they found out that one of their employees was living with her children in a car, they paid the down payment and security deposit so she could get an apartment, and gave her a thousand dollars to buy furniture (Buyting, pp. 36-37). That's a way to build loyalty and keep your staff! I call this, "a sense of belonging."

Employees also need, and if you don't offer them you won't get them, and, if you nevertheless do get them, they won't stay long, real benefits. There are only a few: health insurance, dental, vision, and some sort of retirement plan are musts. Long-term disability, short-term disability, and life insurance are second-tier benefits, but can be meaningful, especially if the employee is married and has children. These benefits all come under the heading of "insurance."

I am ignoring that which is now required, in many jurisdictions, by law: vacation days, personal days, and sick days. To that list can be added family leave, and maternity and paternity leave. If you don't offer your employees time off, frankly, you're a jerk and who would want to work for you?!

You will notice I have not, and will not, mention salary. It has to be competitive, but the truth is that I have never seen a recent survey that puts salary higher than the middle of a list of employee "wants." I also will not mention passion. Many say that you have to be passionate about what you do; it's the reason you get out of bed in the morning. But nothing destroys passion quicker than incompetence. You can be passionate about something, but you also have to be able to make that passion something that can pay the bills. If you can't, the passion will simply become frustration. That is why professional development is so important. That said, purpose does matter which is why the company's mission is important. Employees have to believe in the company's goals. (See Hansen, p. 91.)

Engagement is crucial. (No! You don't have to marry them off!) In fact, according to the June 2019 issue of Inc. magazine (p. 85) engagement is the key to employee retention. This is no longer a "buyer's market." If you want to keep your employees you have to give them what they want, and what they want is to want to go to a nice place to work where they feel they are contributing. That is what is meant by "engagement." Some perks listed in the article are just plain silly: free farm-fresh eggs and vegetables, paid newspaper subscriptions, and table-tennis lessons. In my opinion, if that's what a candidate wants, you don't want them. But a positive work environment is something you do want. You can't afford to have your employees suffer "burnout" which annually costs businesses over half a trillion dollars in productivity (p. 88). You know what they say, "A hundred billion here, a hundred billion there, and pretty soon you are talking real money." Let's just call this "a friendly work environment."

And that environment, first a foremost, is the result of safety. I don't mean "safety" in the sense of not being in physical danger. That's a given. I mean "safety" in the sense of being able to be honest and open without fear of recrimination.

But that environment is also the result of numerous perks. Based on the June 2019 issue of Inc., I put together a list of perks, in no specific order, that employees wants. You decide where they belong on the "silly-to-serious" scale:

Permission to bring a pet to work; free lunch; unlimited vacation; company trips; financial planning; tuition reimbursement; profit sharing; onsite car detailing (I had to read that one twice!); stock ownership; casual dress; remote work; onsite fitness facilities; flex hours; a game room; and wellness instruction.

So here's a list of what you need to keep your employees. Every time I read it, I change the order. So, you decide what's most important. After all, it's your company!

• Cultural fit
• Diversity
• Recognition
• Accountability
• Authority
• Honest and Open Communication
• The means to do the job
• The right to fail/err (a safe/friendly/positive work environment)
• Believing the corporate mission/purpose.
• Professional development
• A sense of belonging
• Various forms of insurance
• Engagement
• Doing good
• Retirement assistance
• Time off
• Various perks

One last thing, which is really the first thing: The way you greet someone sets the mood for the relationship. If I answer the phone, "Hi. This is Bruce. With whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?" That will set one mood. If I answer, "This is Bruce. What do you want?" the mood will be completely different and the phone call will probably be very short and unproductive.

It's the same way for someone's first day on the job. Make them feel welcome. Have someone take them around and introduce them to people and give them the grand tour. That "someone," ideally, should be their supervisor. Have colleagues take them to lunch at a public restaurant (not the lunch room!). (See Heath, p. 18.)

You know what? This is really what all this comes down to: Treat your people with respect. Be honest and straight forward with them. Set reasonable expectations. Human beings cannot multitask. We can prioritize; but we cannot multitask. As Rocks say (p. 4) "While the brain is exquisitely powerful, even the brain of a Harvard graduate can be turned into that of an eight-year-old simply by being made to do two things at once." So don't overwhelm them on their first day. You wanted them to go to bed excited about their next day, not exhausted from their first! That's how you keep your employees.

References: Richard Boyatzis and Annie McKee, Resonant Leadership (Boston: Harvard Business School Press, 2005); Brene Brown, Dare to Lead (London: Vermillion, 2018); Andy Buyting, How to Win Clients & Influence People (Las Vegas: Carle Publishing, 2018); Carol S. Dweck, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success (New York: Ballantine, 2016; Yuval Noah Harari, Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind (Harper Collins, Digital Edition, 2018); Ron Ernst, RealTime Coaching (Carmel, IN: Leadership Horizons, 2010); Morten T. Hansen, Great at Work (London: Simon & Schuster, 2018); Chip Heath & Dan Heath, The Power of Moments (London: Bantam Press, 2017); and David Rock, Your Brain at Work (New York: Harper Business, 2009).

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Bruce Hurwitz, the Amazon international best selling author of The 21st Century Job Search and Immigrating to Israel, is an executive recruiter and career counselor. He has helped scores (thousands if you include attendees at his presentations) of people, including veterans, not only change jobs but, on occasion, change careers. Having successfully transitioned from academia to non-profits to the recruiting industry, he has been there and done that! A five-star rated speech writer on Fiverr, he is the host and producer of the live-interview podcast, Bruce Hurwitz Presents: MEET THE EXPERTS.