How to keep habits over the long haul - how do you deal with fear, boredom, and anxiety? Start with a Growth Mindset

I try to instill habits, but I struggle.??

I try to workout in the morning, and many days I do, but on some I cannot get out of bed and I feel guilty.? I tell myself to go out on a walk each day, but I forget.? For the hobbies I pursue, like language learning and martial arts, I struggle when I do not perform well and I even question my competency. I can imagine I am not alone and many feel the same

What keeps me going and why?? Why toil through hobbies and habits if we don’t realize immediate gratification, or even if we make a long-term commitment, we don’t see the results?

It comes down to a Growth Mindset and the ability to reframe.? The aforementioned doubt, motivation issues, and perceived lack of success are linked to Fixed Mindset, which Harvard Business School describes as a line of thinking that assumes” that intelligence, abilities, and talents view those same traits as inherently stable and unchangeable over time” (1).?

Psychologist Carol Dweck coined the terms Growth and Fixed Mindset and she described Fixed Mindset as “catastrophic?because of the implication that if people don’t already have the skills or intelligence to complete a task, there’s no chance of improvement." (2)? A failure is viewed as just that, a failure.

There is another way - reorienting around a Growth Mindset.? This type of thinking posits that an individual can grow and craft their ability over time and build resilience, humility and innovation along the way.? With a Growth Mindset, there is not a constraint tied to innate ability - you can learn, fail, and learn some more; you create mental and physical muscles to be tough; and, better? and you become more inclined to experiment new practices.

I’ll share a little story of my own struggle in balancing Growth vs. Fixed Mindset.

I recently received my Orange Belt in Judo after three years of practice.? Most Judoka (Judo practitioners) take less time.? When I first received my belt, I was happy but different thoughts crept in:

• It took me this long where others take a shorter time??
• Doubt in my own abilities - over the last several weeks of sparring, I was struggling against lower belts.?

That’s when I tried the perspective shift and focus on my journey - in my three years, I also considered the following factors regarding my journey

• Beginning this martial art in the middle of COVID
• Going through four different gyms (some of which closed)
• My own need to balance with other commitments - I could only train 1x per week
• My age (in my 40s) and need train differently than when I was younger
• I learn at a different pace, which is okay

Instead of the downward spiral of self-critique, I decided to give myself credit for sticking with it.? I instilled new ways of learning and practices outside of formal training (5 minutes of technique before my workout each day) and slowly moved the needle at my own pace.? I also try to change the measuring stick - measuring progress against myself vs. others.??

So back to the Orange Belt, I reflect now on being grateful to make it this far in spite of the challenges.? Do I struggle with those Fixed Mindset attitudes from time to time? Absolutely, progress never moves in a straight line

Growth Mindset can apply to different points in life, but especially in career.? Many high performers always set a high bar for themselves and, even subconsciously, draw a measuring stick with their peers - I am guilty of this.? This can often lead to constant disappointment, anxiety and fear of failure.? A Growth Mindset can shift that perspective with reframing, offering an opportunity for reflection, learning and gratitude

As Lao Tzu says, “A good traveler has no fixed plans and no intent on arriving” - with that in mind, spend more time on the journey vs. the outcome via Growth Mindset and enjoy the learning.

1,2: “Growth? VS. Fixed Mindset: What’s The Difference”, Catherine Cote, Harvard Business School. March 10, 2022. https://online.hbs.edu/blog/post/growth-mindset-vs-fixed-mindset