How Intention is everything & timeframes don't work

I heard Jimmy Carr talking in an interview recently. (Inspiration comes from all kinds of sources!) Something along the lines of…"Everyone says that working hard is toxic." He went on to say… but look at who’s leading in what they do and/or have a great impact in the world...

"They didn’t get there by?not?working hard. They are there?because?they worked hard."

Of course, sometimes we see the problems that occur with this, sometimes on a big scale and sometimes leading to serious repercussions...

But it’s still true.

A few years ago during the pandemic I went into military mode. By that I mean I was doing?all the things...listening to podcasts and audiobooks, reading books, exercising every single day, I had a cleaning rota, a homeschool/play rota, growing my business and adapting to new digital offerings, I tried my best to stay connected spiritually, stay hydrated and eat well. All whilst in lockdown. All with two children under 3 years old.

On paper it sounds like I had my shit together but it ultimately led to panic attacks and burn out. My body had had enough and it soon let me know about it. It was not sustainable for me.

Fast forward a few years and life had moved towards a more fluid structure, trying to "work smarter not harder" whilst growing my business, maintaining relationships and living more freely. Then about a year ago my exercise routine "slipped away"...ie. I made a choice to not prioritise it and not take action. I was looking for new ways to workout but didn’t have a real plan…honestly, still working on it but I now have something in place.

Exercise and moving my body in some way is a fundamental need for me…this is true for me anyway. I love it. I’ve always done it. I love the feeling of generating energy physically and mentally. It feels good.

So why wasn't I doing it?!

Listening to Jimmy Carr talk about work triggered my own thinking. Over the last few years of learning about myself, learning so many new skills, being coached and mentored by some of the best leaders in the world, hearing people’s stories, seeing clients and colleagues apply themselves in all different sorts of ways to life and work…I realised that back when I experienced burnout, my reason for doing all the things had been because I felt like I?should?have been doing those things.

I knew this at the time of burnout. It’s actually what led me to do a huge reset of my true needs and values at the time and ignited the coaching programme through which I now lead women and pregnant women.

BUT it’s so much clearer now…3 years later!

So right now whilst pushing forward with a military mode 2.0, I’m playing with this idea of:

Intention: What I?should?do vs what I?want?to do.

I?want?to listen to podcasts, audiobooks, exercise, have a tidy flat, work hard, be with my boys, nurture my relationships, and do?all the things.

I’m in a place where I genuinely feel like I can do all of these things because my intention is that I really truly?want?to do them.

Where there had previously been an underlying need to prove myself to myself or to others, which is a behaviour that (let's face it!) many of us are conditioned with from childhood, it just doesn’t exist for me anymore.

The difference between?want?and?should?is that when I do something because I want to do it I won't judge myself for not doing it. When I feel like I should do something and then don't do it I end up in a downward spiral of guilt and shame emotions which adds a whole other layer.

Intention is everything!

It’s been a long and challenging road to get to this place but I really had to experience all of it in different shades to be exactly where I am right now. Which is really the point of this article...A reminder to experience life for what it is and how it presents itself. The timeframe was exactly what it needed to be and the timeframe is?always?longer than we think.

It also doesn't mean that it won't change for me again at some point...

Still a work in progress. Still figuring it all out and navigating the old and new parts of me. Still here to support my clients to do the same, whatever part of their journey they’re on. I believe the key factor is embracing the fact that we will always be learning about ourselves and the environments which we live in some capacity.

Therefore, as well as having pure intention, I’m putting some things in place to "protect" myself. One is not judging myself for the "shoulds" slipping into my thoughts or for not managing all the things all the time... I'll let you know more once I've applied this to my life in real time.

In the meantime, here are some questions for you to think about:

?? What do you?want?in your life? Make a distinction between your wants from your needs.

?? Where do you feel like you’re having to prove yourself...To yourself & to others?

?? How are you truly living your life for you right now? Where else or who else are you committed to that gets in the way of that? There will be things and there is no wrong or right answer, for eg. my children. Dig deep.

?? When are you intentional about how you spend your time?

I would love to hear what comes up for you. Please comment below.

#intention #thoughts #experience #humanexperience #beinghuman #