How to be Insensitive to People Who Don't Care

Being sensitive and empathic is the best quality you can have - because only then you can experience the full-thrill of happiness, bliss, love, romance, affections, meaningful-connections etc. etc.. This also make you a blessing for those around you.

Being right type of sensitive means that you have very high levels of emotional, social, spiritual intelligences [ in fact real sustainable success, happiness and good relationship happens thru having 36 types of intelligences you can read in my blog named types of intelligences].

Unfortunately – this world has more insensitive people than the sensitive ones.

If you are [like me] an empathic person, who care for others, listen-attentively, gives honest suggestions, sincerely help others and can understand-others-by-just-observing => You are in for lots of upsets, disappointments, troubles and pains of every kind emotional, mental, physical, social, relationship and even financial.

This blog is about those people – who just don't care about your feelings.

If you can't avoid them - then you have to learn the effective ways to deal with them – for your own well-being.

Emotionally mature people do not get disturbed by other's insensitivities.

There are other types of people who are very-very sensitive – they take everything personally and get hurt and get offended very easily [most of the time this is due to their deep insecurities related psychological disorders].

The popular claim that women are more sensitive than men – well – is subject to debate.

I have come across [which I guess many of you too would have] - many highly insensitive women and highly sensitive men and vice-versa.

5 typical possibilities exist in our relationships - insensitive men vs. insensitive men, insensitive women vs. insensitive women, sensitive men vs. insensitive women, sensitive women vs. insensitive men, sensitive men vs. sensitive women.

Your chemistry [here this word is meant towards the quality of relationship and types of problems between any two individuals] between any of the above 5 types [except sensitive men vs. sensitive women] would be stormy and stressful specially to the person with deeper emotional-issues

If both of them high ego – constant fire-works would be experienced.

In this article the focus is on your Being insensitive to the actions of the people [who are always draining you through their insensitivities AND you can't get rid of and must live with – like your boss, your children, your parents] - maybe even your wife/husband if their insensitiveness are minor irritants [because in spouse relationship the options of getting separated is exercised by many people].

In all other relationships [where you can live without that person being in your life –it is better to get out].

If you have put in your maximum efforts [by doing the right things and explaining patiently again and again] - and still there is absolutely no regard, respect, understanding, recognition, acknowledgement of Your pains, hurts, insults – from this person.

And this person is still totally insensitive to YOUR PART and focuses on his/her part AND does not amend, make-up, correct his/her behavior => this relationship is a coercive one.

You will find many of our close relationship [in the form of friends, family members, bosses and so-called well-wishers] are Insensitive, Arrogant, Totally Self-centered and Judgmental.

Signs of Emotionally-Unintelligent and people with low EQ

1.   You LACK SELF ESTEEM

2.   You are incapable of handling the effects of stress without hurting someone in the process

3.   You raise your voice to make others follow your wishes – at times in public too

4.   You aren’t open to other's opinions – as you are only focused and involved in themselves and your own needs

5.   You get defensive in almost every interaction

6.   You can’t remember people’s names - During the initial introductions or greeting they are so wrapped up in what they need to say

7.   You don’t think before you speak – you react rather than respond

8.   You ignore want others to behave with you nicely – but you, yourself hurt others

9.   You can’t control your attitude

10. You don’t act present – you listen with the sole intent of replying fittingly

11. You take everything personally

12. You always get defensive

13. You always have excuses and justifications for not doing something – that you yourself have agreed and promised

14. You see yourself as powerless and compare yourself constantly with others

15. You have a need to have things your own way

16. You have Extreme fear of failure and fear about the future

17. You are generally highly stressed and busy – yet you have Trouble starting or following through on projects

18. You believe the world is against you - and you are never at fault

19. You are self-centered

20. You never Back down from an argument - because you can’t bear to lose face

21. You Get in Lots of Arguments

22. You do Not Understanding How Others Feel

23. You Think That Other People Are Overly Sensitive

24. You Refuse to Listen and understand Other's Points of View

25. You Blame Others for all the Mistakes

26. You cannot Cope With Emotionally-Charged Situations

27. You are prone to Sudden Emotional Outbursts

28. You have Difficulty Maintaining Friendships and relationship

29. You Lack Empathy

30. You withdraw often

31. You’re jumpy

32. Your pain tolerance is less.

33. Change is extremely upsetting for you

34. You can never distinguish between Critiquing, Criticism and well-meaning suggestions – feels like a dagger

35. You have difficulty letting go of negative thoughts and emotions

36. You Frequently feels physical symptoms headache) when something unpleasant happens during the day

37. You often have bad days that affect your eating and sleeping habits in an unhealthy way -such as eating or sleeping too much or too little

38. You are afraid of rejection, even in relatively minor situations 

39. You Compares self with others often (in physical, relational, social, work, financial, or other scenarios) -and experiences unhappy feelings from negative social comparison

40. You Often thinks/worries about what others are thinking

41. You find it difficult to let go - when triggered by relatively small unpleasantness

42. You Feel hurt easily

43. You would rather discuss negative emotions with others – instead of focusing on positives

44. You have hard time accepting critical feedback - even when it's given reasonably and constructively

45. You Often overreacts to real or perceived slights and provocations

46. You Often feels awkward in group situations and feels unable to be oneself

47. You Feel self-conscious in romantically intimate situations

Signs of emotionally unavailable person

A relationship with an emotionally unavailable person can be deeply traumatizing – check from the following list, how many apply to your partner

1.   Your actions to push for closeness may feel uncomfortable or scary to them

2.   emotionally unavailable people withdraw and say “no comment”

3.   They don’t put the same effort into the relationship.

4.   Even if your partner says he/she loves you, his/her behavior and demeanor make you feel unworthy of love.

5.   Few of them can demonstrate bursts of real intimacy and passion - followed by periods of pulling back and coldness and criticism and negativity

6.   Difficulty Expressing Emotions and Feelings

7.   Resistant to Committing

8.   Acts Distant - Too Cool

9.   Inability or Unwillingness to Be Vulnerable

10. Uncomfortable Discussing Emotional Topics

11. Gets Defensive and Quick to Anger

12. Suggests You Are Too Sensitive or Needy

13. Quick to Blame Others

14. Rarely Self-Reflective or Self-Aware

15. Difficulty in showering their Affection and complementing others

16. Disdain and Disinterested in Your Feelings and Needs

17. Often Self-Centered and Needing Attention

18. Either Overly Focused on Sex but Not Emotional Closeness OR Avoids Sex Altogether OR have sex simply to fill in the blank

19. Inability to Deal with Conflict

20. Wanting to Control you

21. Fear falling in love and being emotionally intimate because of their fear of getting hurt

22. Distrustful

23. avoid intimacy with distractions

24. uncomfortable talking about themselves and their feelings

25. have secrets they are ashamed of which makes them feel Unworthy, undesirable or unlovable

26. fear too many expectations and demands because of relationship

27. play games and avoid conflict

28. And they expect only you to work on the relationship – while they enjoy the goodies

29. They shallow and are happy to keep conversations at superficial level

30. They change the subject or make fun when you bring up something emotional

31. You don’t feel supported by them.

32. They prefer to do things alone

33. They tell you that you shouldn’t feel a certain way

34. They think they’re expressing emotions, but they’re actually not

35. They don’t talk about things that are important to you

36. They’re always telling you that you should look on the bright side

37. They haven’t been in serious relationships

38. They don’t like talking about tough issues

39. They not affectionate

40. They actually not available for their partners literally

41. They don’t respect your time

42. They misunderstand you

43. They call you intense

44. They will call you oversensitive

45. They will say that you are being judgmental 

46. They will say that you are ignoring them

For full read - "How to Handle People Who Don't Care" in Success Unlimited Mantra Blog Section From the Heart of Subhashis

For the checklist - if Your Relationship is at End OR should you walk away from your existing relationship - read - "Should You End Your Relationship" in relationshipandhappiness dot com