How to Inquire Productively (6.3)
Fred Kofman
Executive Coach | President at Conscious Business Center International - CBC
"Make him right
before you make him wrong."
Productive inquiry is a way to learn about your colleague’s reasoning. It helps him express what he’s thinking, but more importantly, it allows him to share why he’s thinking what he's thinking, and what he would like to do about it.
You can think of these three aspects of inquiry as points in time:
- The present: What (do you think?)
- The past: Why (do you think it?)
- The future: So what (do we do about it?)
If you ask these questions in an appreciative mode, you will help your colleague reveal his full reasoning, to go down his ladder of inference. That will allow you to understand him at a much deeper level.
Productive inquiry requires appreciation. Unless you allow yourself to understand how your colleague’s reasoning is “right” --that is, his ideas make sense within his worldview-- you won’t work with him as effectively as you could. You might still get the job done, but the two of you will neither grow closer nor wiser.
Even if he’s 99% wrong, there’s always a kernel of truth that you can appreciate. This core truth can serve as a foundation for both of you to build together a more inclusive and truthful perspective, which will lead to a more effective and bought-in solution.
Do You Want To Be Right Or Do You Want To Be Effective?
The core of productive inquiry is not a technique, but an attitude. Productive inquiry requires a profound curiosity, a commitment to understanding the context in which your colleague's ideas fit. This, in turn, requires a strong desire to discover his world with appreciation and respect.
Your ability to pay attention is inversely proportional to your need to be right. The more concerned you are about proving you are right, the less patience you have to inquire into and truly hear what your colleague has to say. The less he feels received and appreciated, the less he will be willing to listen to you and engage in a productive conversation.
Here are a three distinctions to keep in mind when you practice productive inquiry:
Clarifying is not conceding: You may worry that listening and asking clarifying questions means that you are conceding the point. This is not the case. Moreover, by getting clear of the other’s position you can challenge it more intelligently and constructively. Even if your counterpart assumes that it is, you can simply state, “Now that I’ve understood you clearly, I’d like to explain where I agree and where I disagree with your view.”
Understanding is not undermining: You may be tempted to use inquiry to prove you are right and others are wrong. Resist. Ask open-ended questions that support your counterpart’s expression. Remember that you may not know all the facts and the reasoning that lead to his conclusion. You could ask questions such as, “What leads you to think that (…)?” or, “How did you reach that conclusion?” or, “How do you see such course of action helping us to accomplish our goal?”
Comprehending is not counter-arguing: You may transition from inquiring to counter-arguing without your counterpart’s consent. Restrain yourself. Make sure she has finished expressing her position before you present disconfirming information or challenge her conclusions. You can say, for example, “I’d like to show you some information that you haven’t taken into account. Are we ready to move to a dialog, or are there other things you’d like to present first?”
In the following video you will find some tips on how to inquiry productively:
Readers: In what situations do you have the hardest time asking appreciative questions to understand the other?
*Should you have any difficulty viewing the embedded video please click here to view on Fred’s Slideshare page
Fred Kofman, Ph.D. in Economics, is Vice President at Linkedin. This post is part 6.3 of Linkedin's Conscious Business Program. You can find the introduction and structure of this program here. Follow Fred Kofman on LinkedIn here. To stay connected and get updates please visit Conscious Business Academy and join our Conscious Business Friends group.
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5 年In what situations I find this more challenging?????. not sure if this happens to everybody but in my particular case it happens with those I love, with those were I would?like to contribute such as my sons, wife, parents........... I thin k there is a natural tendency to be less patient with those we love?(Which in my mind this does not make sense as those should be pretty easy to do right???), anyway also I find it difficult when we are under pressure to deliver results or having time constraints (this normally happens at work............). For this reason many people says that coaching takes time! but guess what it′s time well spent!??
CEO and Co-Founder of the Jazz Leadership Project, and Co-Director of The Omni-American Future Project.
5 年The scaffolding of our past-present-future orientation to time is an elegant model and method to build appreciative inquiry. When we truly listen openly, and with warm curiosity, such active and empathetic listening alone will break down interpersonal barriers. Once we ask the inquiry questions that allows for our partner in conversation to go deeper into his or her reasoning, this moves us closer to a basis for true communication that can become generative co-creation.
Head of People and OD and Non Executive Director (Solace)
5 年In the past I have been guilty of using questioning to undermine. I'm more likely to do this in a personal context than a professional one. I'll also move quickly from questioning to counter-arguing. You've got to be able to continue being willing to listen. It's not enough to listen only until you get to the asking questions part. Sounds obvious, but it takes work.?
Owner/Operator @ Chick-fil-A | Job creator | Paradigm shifter | Trajectory changer | Leader of leaders | Business builder | Entrepreneur
5 年The three questions presented as the byproduct of an attitude of productive inquiry will serve me well as I continue to grow in consciousness as a person and leader. Knowledge, understanding and wisdom is how I correlate the three questions. What do you think? Gives me the facts Why do you think what you think? Give me the context So what do you propose? Helps me see how the opinion is applied in the real world Taken together, I have a fuller, more complete picture and can more effectively decide how to engage or influence.
Technical Program Manager at Google
5 年I find it most difficult to ask appreciative questions in the following circumstances: 1. When I am under time pressure, tired, stressed, or otherwise cognitively busy. I try to schedule conversations when I am least likely to feel this way. This usually means in the morning, ideally not right before another important meeting, and not right before a tight deadline.? 2. When I don't feel that my conversation partner's past responses to appreciative questions have changed my view of the world very much, particularly if they have been long and drawn out. I try get past this urge by considering how I might have contributed to the answers I've gotten: Did I ask the wrong questions or phase them in a way that made it difficult for them to understand what I wanted to know? Have I been giving them the feedback they need in order to understand what answers were going to be most effective?