How to improve your relationship with food

As humans we have a strong relationship with food. Without it, we probably wouldn't be here. Our body can't function without the proper fuel. Food is to us, is what gasoline is to a car.

We've had food at its simplest form while our ancestors hunted and gathered, and we've also had it at its most complex with today's processed food.

There will always be a relationship with food. However, you can have different kinds of relationships with food. There are positive ones where individuals fuel and nourish their bodies. We also have negative relationships that lead to bad habits or other, worse outcomes.

These vary from person to person, with varying extremities. Often times someone may start out with a small problem, but eventually it can become a lot worse.

Here's an example of a negative behavior:

You go into a restaurant for dinner. Sometimes you like to have some dessert afterwards. There's nothing wrong with dessert, but you have a bad relationship with it. You notice that this restaurant has a soft serve ice cream machine and it's free with your order; oh and by the way it's unlimited! You think to yourself that you will have some. Sure. You get one serving and eat it. Well, you want more so you get it. Next thing you know you've had 5 servings of ice cream. You feel like you lost control and beat yourself up for it.

This is a negative behavior for two reasons. One, there was a loss of control. The biggest misconnect with a food relationship is lack of control. When you lose control, everything goes out the window. The second reason is beating yourself up. You mess up one time and then think of yourself as a failure.

Here's an example of positive behavior:

You enter the same restaurant to have dinner as before. You've been doing some work to achieve a healthier relationship with food, and you feel confidant in tackling this situation. You order your meal, that you actually planned ahead for. This way you are prepared and ready to rock. Once you finish eating the daunting ice cream machine stares back at you. However, you are in control now. You allow yourself to get one serving of ice cream. You enjoy it and don't rush it. Once done, you realize that you really don't even want more ice cream. So you call it quits and head back home.

In this situation you practiced the control of your choices. You also, allowed yourself to have something that you enjoy, but it didn't get out of hand. You had some ice cream (ice cream is awesome!) and that was it.

Problems only arise with foods when you over consume them, which is what the majority of overweight individuals do!

So how do you improve these relationships?

Use Control

This relates to the above example. There are a lot of things in life that we CANNOT control. You can't control gas prices or the weather, but you do have a lot of control when it comes to food. Food is probably one of the only things that we have full control over (most of the time).

We get to control what we have for dinner, we get to control our snacks, or we get to control what we put in our bodies. We have control over food, food does not have control over us.

Does this mean become a control freak about everything? No. It's like the aforementioned example, you can fight the urge to have five servings of ice cream. However, you can have some and be okay. That is what real control is. Stepping onto the coals and allowing yourself to walk to the end untouched.

Use your control to make better choices for what you eat. Instead of getting fast food for lunch at work; have the control to make a healthier lunch the night before. This ensures that you're prepared and won't even have the chance to make bad choices. Control your choices!

Control is something to use, but is also a mindset. Just telling yourself, "Hey, remember you're in control of this!", can change everything. Disaster can be averted with ease.

Loosen Up

We discussed control, but you also have to loosen up some. Like I said, you can't control EVERYTHING and sometimes stuff happens. You may have a friends birthday come up and they want you to go out a celebrate. You could say no and stay home because you are trying to be healthier. OR you could realize that this is one day out of an entire year, loosen up and go have fun.

You just have to remember to get back on track the next day. I would rather you have one day where you over ate a little, then see you get right back on track; as opposed to you being super strict and then bingeing after a while. The secret is to enjoy life and then resume the plan. That is a healthy relationship with food and life. And hey, in a way it's still a form of something that you have control over!

Educate

Knowledge is literally power. That phrase may sounds very cliché, but it applies a lot to health and nutrition. The more you know, the more you can readily make better decisions. This not only helps you be healthier, but it improves your relationship with food.

If you have the education to know what good foods can do for your body, you no longer look at healthy food in a negative way. Do you know how many people I've met that say they don't eat vegetables? Are you 2 years old?! You don't have to eat every vegetable (I would like you to try), but you learn about the benefits that certain ones have. Why wouldn't you want to eat something that keeps you from getting sick (bell peppers).

Education helps to shed some light on the good that can come from healthy food. A simple google search can breed some good information, or find someone like me. I love questions :)

Build Habits

This is one of my favorites because it can be powerful. Building habits can breed a great relationship with food. If you are starting out in a negative one, some new habits may help you move in the right direction.

Many times I will help people have a better relationship with green foods just by ensuring that there is something green on their plate. Every meal they have to send me a picture and it has to have something the color green. Next thing you know it's become a habit in their brain to have green stuff with every meal. They go to dinner at moms house and make sure she's making something green, it get contagious.

You can also build a habit of being thankful for food. Not because it tastes good, but because of its nourishing properties. "Hey I'm super thankful for this meal because it's going to allow me to get a lot of work done." That's got a whole different vibe to it than just eating because it's going to taste good and cause a dopamine rush.

Think of some issues you may have with your food and build some habits around them. You'd be surprised how much it can help.

Practice

Like most things you want to accomplish, you must practice. None of this matters if you don't actually take time to do it. You may not fix everything on your first try, but little you'll see a healthy relationship with food grow.

Find situations that are hard for you and try to take them little by little. Like I said, it doesn't have to be an immediate turn around. Baby steps matter. Even the smallest of changes can add up in the end!

You can practice control, you can work on loosening up, you can educate yourself and you can practice new habits. All of these are great ways to improve your relationship with food.

Relationships with food come in all shapes and sizes. Some are worse and some are better. However, where you are now isn't where you have to stay and you can make changes. The surprise and pure joy that my clients have experienced is unreal. These people never thought anything could be different, they just thought they would have these problems forever. No, you get to decide your relationship with food! You are in control of it all, you just may have to put in a little work. Nothing ever comes easy, otherwise everyone would have a great food relationship.

Want help in regards to your relationship with food? Just click here to apply for coaching and we can work together to get you on the right track!