How to Improve Your Executive Presence

Welcome to the Trust Yourself newsletter by?Melody Wilding, LMSW , executive coach, human behavior professor, and author of?Trust Yourself: Stop Overthinking and Channel Your Emotions into Success at Work . This biweekly newsletter is designed to give you the tips, tools, and inspiration you need to gain confidence and effectively as Sensitive Striver.

At least once a week, I hear from Sensitive Strivers – deeply feeling and high-achieving leaders – who ask, “How do I project more executive presence?”

This is such a common question because most Sensitive Strivers believe they lack presence. But the fact that you're sensitive doesn’t mean you can’t command a room. What if it meant you could more powerfully create executive presence? In fact, you can use your qualities as a Sensitive Striver to improve your assertiveness, influence, and persuasiveness to accelerate your career.?

What is Executive Presence?

You may know executive presence by another name – leadership presence, executive demeanor. All of these terms are used interchangeably to refer to projecting quiet confidence without arrogance. Executive presence is talked about a lot but can feel very elusive and hard to achieve it's a combination of many traits and skills. It’s a you-know-it-when-you-see-it quality.

Do a quick exercise right now. In your mind's eye, think of someone whom you know that projects executive presence. How does that person carry themselves in a high-pressure situation? How do they enter a room? What does it look and sound like when they communicate? This brief exercise alone can shed a lot of insight into how you might emulate their actions and mindset for yourself.?

The 3 Areas of Executive Presence

• The first is what you do - this means acting with gravitas, ie in a way that commands greater respect. Having a solid sense of self-worth but also resolve and conviction that allows you to deal with challenges in a mature way
• Second is what you say, or your communication skills - being able to get your point across, articulate your ideas, gain buy-in, and influence people, to have them listen when you speak and take you seriously
• And third is how you say it. This is about your appearance and how you carry yourself - dictating a certain positive perception and brand with the way you dress, your body language and delivery, and the way you package information.?

Sensitive Strivers and Executive Presence

While you may think being a Sensitive Striver detracts from your ability to influence, the truth is that you innately have inside of you all of the ingredients for authentic executive presence – many of which the other 80% of the population lacks.?

At the core of executive presence is empathy, which as a Sensitive Striver, you have in spades. Science shows that sensitive people have more active mirror neurons – the neurons responsible for empathy – which means you're able to pick up on other people’s emotions more keenly. It’s why you can read between the lines and sense when someone is upset or needs additional support. It's the reason you can anticipate when conflict is brewing and mitigate it.

Executive presence also depends largely on how you make other people feel. In other words, how people feel around you. Making a person feel good about themselves contributes to your presence almost more than anything else.?

Your ability to think and feel deeply as a Sensitive Striver can also translate to helping others feel hope, inspiration, excitement, or optimism. You are the calming influence, and bring order and discipline when there is crisis or chaos. Your encouragement and willingness to recognize and praise others means higher morale and more psychological safety. All of these are your strengths and superpowers.??

4 Tips for Greater Executive Presence

Now that you understand how your qualities as a Sensitive Striver positively contribute to your executive presence, let’s talk about how you can put that into action. Specifically how you can speak up and be more vocal and visible in meetings without imposter syndrome or fear getting in your way.

1 - Speak early.

Early speakers are seen as more confident than later speakers. Challenge yourself to be the second or third person to speak in your next meeting. The longer you wait to speak up, the more you’ll find that all the good ideas are on the table or that people have already checked out, which will make you reluctant to share. Keep in mind that what you share doesn’t have to be groundbreaking – it’s enough to add to someone else's point or to ask a thoughtful question. ?

2 - Don't bury the lead.

Sensitive Strivers have a tendency to lead with too much context, explaining how they arrived at their point, the process that was followed, and other considerations. This is a mistake, considering you have on average eight seconds to command someone’s attention. Instead, think about the key message is that you want to get across, and lead with that. Do not bury the lead.?

3 - Focus on impact

Along with your key message, make sure your content focuses on impact. Translate the actions you’re taking to what it means to the audience. What are the outcomes or results? What does your work mean for the company’s future and bottom line? You’ll be more persuasive if people understand why what you’re sharing matters in the bigger picture.

4 - Keep it concise

Shorter is usually better. Fewer words strengthen your message. More words soften it. Cut out qualifiers, language that is tentative, or hedging. It’s better to say less and invite questions and curiosity than it is to try to say too much to overcompensate for your insecurities or risk boring and losing people.?

10x Your Confidence at Work

If you're ready to use your voice at work and build influence to excel in your career, then join us inside RESILIENT . Enrollment opens today, and spots are very limited.

Inside the program, you'll discover skills to channel your sensitivity into your greatest strength at work so that you can be more confident, calmer, and in control of your career.

Here's what our alumni say:

When I started this program, I felt like my life was a runaway train. I was seeking control in unhelpful, unproductive ways. Now I'm so much more productive at work, happy, and feeling like myself again. I have gotten out more work in the past few weeks than in the months before, with very promising results. I am also setting much clearer boundaries and communicating more clearly and pragmatically with my team, and my manager. I have clarity around how I can be an innovative, kick-ass employee! I'd give this program a 10/10.

- C.B., Director, Strategic Engagement and Custom Service

Click here to learn more about RESILIENT and reserve your spot . Enrollment opens today, and spot are very limited.

This is the final time the program will be run live, in the current format, with weekly calls and direct coaching from me.