How To Improve Communication Skills

The number one criteria for advancement and promotion for professionals is an ability to communicate effectively.

I do believe, the ability to connect and communicate.

So number one criteria for success with your family, friends, in the workplace, in the marketplace, in the community is if you can connect with people. If you can communicate and connect. Not just communicate.?It gives you a decided edge over others in the advancement of what you're trying to accomplish.???

In the book 'Everyone Communicates, Few Connect,' John C Maxwell writes,

The ability to communicate and connect with others is a major determining factor in reaching your potential.

He defines "connecting" as the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence with them.

There are four compelling foundations that we can stand on if we want our speech to be robust and change the world. Fortunately, these things spell a word, and the word is HAIL, and it has a great definition as well.?

The H is Honesty

Of course, you are accurate in what you say, being straight and clear.?

The A is Authenticity

Just being yourself, a friend of mine described it as standing in your truth, which I think is a lovely way to put it.?

The I is Integrity

You are your word, actually doing what you say and being somebody people can trust.?

And the L is Love

I don't mean romantic love, but I mean wishing people well.

Becoming a great conversationalist

Do you know the one key to becoming a great conversationalist??

The key is to pause before replying. A short pause of three to five seconds after a person stops talking is a very classy thing to do in a conversation. When you pause, you accomplish three goals simultaneously.

?a. Avoid Risk of Interrupting

You avoid running the risk of interrupting if the other person is catching their breath before continuing.?

b. Show Care?

The second benefit is that you show the other person that you carefully consider their words by not jumping in with your comments at the earliest opportunity.

?3. Hear Others?

The third benefit of pausing in conversation is hearing the other person better. Their words will soak into a deeper level of your mind, and you will understand what they are saying with greater clarity. By pausing, you'll mark yourself as a brilliant conversationalist.?

Question for Clarification

Another way to become a great conversationalist is to question for clarification. Never assume that you understand what the other person is saying or trying to say. Instead, if you have any doubt, ask how you mean or how you mean precisely, and then pause and wait. It is the most powerful question I've ever learned for guiding and controlling a conversation. It's almost impossible not to answer this question when you ask, how do you mean? The other person cannot stop themselves from answering more extensively. You can then follow up with additional open-ended questions and keep the conversation rolling along.?

3.????Paraphrasing

The third way to become a great conversationalist is to paraphrase the speaker's words in your own words. So after you have nodded and smiled, you can then say, well, let me see if I've got this writer. Let me know if I understand what you're saying, and then you repeat it back in your own words. By paraphrasing the speaker's words, you demonstrate in no uncertain terms that you are genuinely paying attention and making every effort to understand their thoughts or feelings.?

The wonderful thing is when you practice effective listening, other people will begin to find you fascinating. They will want to be around you, and they will feel relaxed and happy in your presence because you make them feel important when you listen to other people.?

Conclusion

Listening is such a powerful tool in developing the art and skill of conversation because listening builds trust. The more you listen to another person, the more they trust you and believe in you.?

Listening also builds self-esteem. When you listen attentively to another person, their self-esteem will naturally increase, and they will feel better about themselves and feel more valuable and more respected.??

Finally, listening builds self-esteem in the listener. Your mind can process words at 500 to 600 words per minute, and we can only talk at about 150 words for a minute. It takes real effort to keep your attention focused on another person's words. If you do not practice self-discipline in conversation, your mind will wander in a hundred different directions. The more you pay close attention to what the other person says, the more self-disciplined you will become. In other words, by learning to listen well, you develop your character and personality.

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