Part 2 - Gaining the privacy for self-development initiatives in quarantine: how to identify what you need

In this series, which began with this article, I’m sharing ways for educators and students to gain a sense of privacy and control over attending self-development and wellbeing sessions, even if there is none.

We begin the second article in this series by introducing you to a wonderful thing: a Kipling Cherry Bakewell Tart. 

It has sponge, jam, pastry, icing, and a cherry on the top.

What more could you want? So many layers in one tiny cake. 

During lockdown, eating a cherry bakewell while sitting on the porch with some tea became a tiny pick-me-up. An energy boost. A piece of joy. 

This article is not about the cherry bakewell as such.

It's about getting some space and energy back to show up better at work and in life.

If you’ve ever come home from work hungry, angry, lonely or tired, (there’s an acronym for this: HALT!), you might actually need to halt. And have your own cherry bakewell moment too. 

In the latest wave of lockdowns, schools have once again lost use of the physical space that affords a great deal of space for development, wellbeing and "cherry bakewells" to take place.

Along with that, I think counsellors have never been so needed as they are now. As many were not teaching staff, sadly lots of them were the first to lose their jobs or be reassigned in the pandemic.

For many of us, especially teachers and educators, we can't even access the simple camaraderie that being with colleagues provides in terms of wellness and being able to share difficulties regularly - that physical water cooler chat time. It seems absurd that we have to schedule it in as a virtual gathering now.

All this being said, let’s look at the topic for this article, which is about steps you can take to identify what you need in terms of development and wellbeing, and the types of self-development you can take part in.

In this article we’re covering three things: 

1 - Figuring out your bounce-back protocol (AKA your cherry bakewell(s) 

2 - Identifying or uncovering areas of your life that need attention 

3 - Finding things you can do to improve those areas 

1. Identify your ‘bounce-back’ protocol

When you’re knocked down, do you know clearly what you need to recover, and do your family know? Have you given them/your house-mates/people close to you a heads up on what you need when you're knocked out?

Keeping this practical, here’s a tiny way to get started with identifying your own "cherry bake-well" protocol:

Finish the following sentence choosing one or the other options below:

When I’m feeling knocked down or low...

• I need time alone /or/ I need to be around people 
• I need to eat /or/ I find it difficult or stressful to eat
• I need to speak and be listened to /or/ I need to listen to others speaking 
• I need rest or sleep /or/ I need to work or keep busy
• I need to move and exercise /or/ I need to be still 

Knowing specifically what helps you gain back some energy is half the battle. Adding to this, you might want to think of what your own cherry bakewell moments are: consider how you like to chill out and rest, and make sure your loved ones know what it involves so they can give you space enough to recharge.

2. Identify the areas that need attention

Once you’ve gained back some energy via a cherry bakewell (yum), you can look towards figuring out the areas that need most attention in terms of your self-development or wellbeing. 

Teachers and students have always been under pressure, but I think we have never been so stressed as we are now. 

One way I like to check in with myself is to use a simple barometer that covers many different life areas. You can fill yours in anonymously here to get a view of how your wellbeing is looking. You could take a snap of this wheel, click edit in your photos and shade in the areas according to how you're feeling currently:

Or, a different, simple way to quickly check in with your own barometer is via the link here. No need to submit an answer - just the visual should give you a reality check on the status of each.

Click here to do your own General Status Check

Another way to get to the root of what you need is to meditate and journal, with a few minutes of quiet time to write down answers to pertinent questions

In Dr. Susan David’s book, Emotional Agility, she describes the act of journaling as a therapeutic and restorative process in more ways than one. Working with students and professionals who faced all kinds of difficulties in South Africa, she promotes journaling as a key to unlocking a lot of the mental baggage holding students down. 

A simple question to ask yourself, and journal about is:

Is this ok? 

Some people find journaling the answer to this question therapeutic. Others need more prompts, like this: 

1. What’s going well for me right now?
2. What’s not so good right now?
3. What's triggering me?
4. What is this feeling/experience telling me I need?

Either way, actually writing down the answers these questions honestly can help give you a sense of where to begin with addressing your wellbeing. 

3. Find ways to improve those areas

If it’s your career, perhaps you need to invest in some training of your own. If it’s your family, is there anything you can do to increase quality time or experiences with them?

Here are some more ideas on ways to address common areas like work, focus, and relationships that need some attention.

For the emotional/relational element: Hanging out or spending time with a trusted friend. 

There is nothing like chatting to a good friend to help lift spirits when you're knocked down. I have a particular friend who is incredibly funny to me - they always have some humorous spin to put on things. Do you have someone similar in your life? You'll know if they're someone you can rely on for this if you feel energised and positive after speaking, not drained and concerned more about them than yourself. 

For the career development element: Reconnecting with social networks that have gone virtual, like alumni groups

Reach out to your old university and see what they’ve got to offer in terms of alumni events and services. One of my universities offers free career advice and brainstorming sessions, as well as an extensive mentoring network. It doesn’t matter what age or stage you’re at, these networks often have something for everyone, and more events than was ever possible previously.

For the skills and self-development element: Attending online training initiatives

There are training sessions that have never been so accessible as they are now. In the summer, we held webinars that had thousands of teachers gathering to up-skill and learn new methods to teach - both online and offline. Staying updated with similar events is a great way to develop your skills in an accessible way. 

For the mental wellbeing element: Therapy & counselling - in school and beyond

It can be costly to do therapy, so look out for student or educator rates. Many insurance providers also provide a certain number of sessions free. If you are reading this and know of relevant mental wellbeing apps, especially those for teachers and students, let me know and I’ll update them in this article

What now?

Having considered what it takes for you to bounce-back, and reflecting on the areas you need to address, logically, the next step is to go and do them. But to quote a familiar phrase from the London Underground safety announcements:

Mind the gap. 

I think there’s often a missed step between knowing what you need, and actually attending or taking part in some of the above activities.

That gap is about voicing what you need, before you go and try to take part in self-development activities, so that you get the mental/emotional and even physical space to actually take part in activities that contribute to your development - even in a crowded home environment. 

So in the next part, we’ll explore this.

Stay tuned. :)