How I Wrote a Novel

I’m literally a nobody in the world of fiction and novels and short stories.?

But who knows? Maybe one day I’ll get there.

Since around the end of 2019, I’ve been working on a collection of 10 short stories. Mystery stories. A few ghosts, a few puzzles, a few foggy nights and deceitful, crafty characters thrown in for good measure. That sort of stuff.

Oh, and the odd hunchback.

And maybe an elf.?

But definitely nothing weirder than that.?

I’ve written 9 of them and just have one more left to write. It’s about a gravedigger.?

“These sound so jolly, Will.”?

I know right.?

I’ve also been hard at work these past 2.5 years on a novel. It’s a dark comedy. Yes, there’s another hunchback. Maybe.?

Writing it was a riot. I got the first and second drafts done in 2020 and then blasted through the third draft this year.?

The first draft was 40,000 words long, the second was about 80,000 … and the third was 120,000.

I guess if I did a fourth draft, it’d be 500,000 words long. Which would be totally mental, you feel me.?

Anyway, this is all on top of my client work and - as I’ve mentioned before - I’ve written about 700,000 words this year.

The aim next year is 7 million.?

As someone once said, “dream big!”

While I’m a total nobody in the world of fiction, novels, short stories and pretty much everything else except my local Tesco, here’s an insight into my process when it came to writing my short stories and novel over the last 3 years while juggling client work:

I Said “I’m Gonna Write a Novel”

It might sound obvious but if I’d never said “I’m actually gonna start and complete a novel,” I’d probably never have done it.?

I’ve written novels before when I was younger but there was a period between 2015 and 2020 when I was so absorbed in client work that I remember saying to myself I’d never write a novel ever again. There simply wasn’t time.?

But once I determined to write a novel, I made a promise to myself and started out on a goal that I knew I wouldn’t waver from.?

Coronavirus Happened?

I’ll level with you: I might not have got my first and second drafts written so quickly had coronavirus not happened.?

But the pandemic brought with it a few lockdowns that backed me - and many others - into a corner. It gave me time and space and freedom to focus on my novel.?

So I bashed out the first draft in 40 days - 40 days in which I had barely any distractions besides existential dread and the fear that I might never live a normal, social life ever again.?

See? No distractions.?

“Those are pretty big distractions, Will.”

Well, yeah. But life ain’t perfect, right??

Anyway, the lesson here is that, while you can’t (and shouldn’t) manufacture a coronavirus situation, it helps when you’re backed into a corner where you can’t do much of anything.

Feeling ill and gotta stay home? See if you can write.

Injured your foot and can’t walk? Milk it for all you’ve got and write.?

In jail? Erm okay. But anyway - use the time to write.?

I Took a Year Long Break From My Novel

I wrote the first and second drafts in 2020 - but then shelved my novel for a whole year in 2021.?

Looking back, I’m not even sure why I did that (no, I did not blackout for a whole year).?

I possibly did it because I wanted to enjoy myself in 2021 once we were out of lockdown.?

Either way, taking a whole year off from my novel meant that I was able to approach it again in 2022 with a refreshed mind.

Naturally, I’d forgotten what it was all about and had to wonder who on earth added the robots.?

Oh, I did …

I Stopped Enjoying Life?

This sub-header is probably the most depressing sub-header I’ve ever written but I kinda love it so it’s staying.?

Essentially, my aim in 2022 was to complete the third draft of my novel by the end of August 2022.

But by the time the end of July swung around, I realised I was miles off my target and that only a madman would have created such a target.?

There was literally no way I could do it unless I hired 5 factotums, paid them minimum wage and ordered them to each write a few chapters for me.

Then, we’d get together at the end of August and see what everyone had come up with.?

Well, it was either that or I give up the things I was enjoying in life and which were taking up my mental and physical space.?

And that’s what I did. During an incredible August heatwave, I became a monk who wrote, wrote, wrote, sweated, sweated, sweated and slept on a piece of slate.?

Okay the last bit is untrue (as is the monk bit - okay, it’s all a lie) BUT I did give up all my earthly pleasures and passions and devoted myself entirely for a whole month to my novel.

And guess what?

I got the thing done.?

Anyway, the point here is that sometimes we need to go dark - hide ourselves from our friends (not in a game of Hide and Seek) and focus our energies on the task at hand.?

It’s okay to disappear as long as you don’t do it in such a way that you end up on a Missing Person’s list.?