How I Turned My Cranky Christmas?Mood Around for More Peace, Love & Happiness

My finger throbbed like someone was beating it with a stick. My teeth chattered like one of those wind-up false teeth toys as I raced into the house to escape the cut-you-to-the-bone 20-below wind chill.

I didn’t even take off my coat as I walked straight to the bar.

My brother-in-law Tom was there with a knowing look. He handed me a glass of wine, and we exchanged our annual banter.

“How’s it going, Tom?”

In his usual glib and funny way, Tom replied, “Oh, I’m just doing what I’m told to do, Suzie.”

I toasted Tom and boisterously announced our arrival, “Merry Christmas, everybody! Peace, love, and happiness to all!”

It was Christmas Day 2005, and we were at my sister-in-law’s house in Carmel, Indiana. I was not in the Christmas spirit—in fact, I was completely cranky.

I’d slammed my finger in the car door that morning at Jeff’s parents’ house. The pain in my finger matched my mood perfectly—internally, I felt bruised and empty; externally, I was tired and banged up.

The rest of the day wasn’t much better. I drank too much wine, ate too much food, and never really found my way to feeling better. Peace, love, and happiness? Not even close.

Thank goodness Jeff’s family has known me since 1993 and loves me anyway—otherwise, I’m not sure they’d ever invite me back!

Back home, nursing both my finger and the cold I’d caught, I had to ask myself:

How did I get here?

Where along the way had I lost my “peace, love, and happiness” wake-up-eager direction? How had I ended up so cranky at Christmas?

‘They Need Me’ Decisions Led to a Cranky Christmas

Weeks later, after some rest and recovery, I began to reflect on what went wrong. Physically, I felt better. Mentally, I realized the decisions I’d made leading up to that Indiana Christmas had created the perfect storm for my holiday burnout.

Here’s what I discovered:

• I’d agreed to a mid-December training class in Pittsburgh, even though I hate the cold. Why? Because they needed me.
• I took on a last-minute assessment project that was rushed and stressful. Again, they needed me.
• I squeezed in a trip to South Carolina to see my parents out of guilt, even though it felt overwhelming. They needed me.
• I committed to a dinner party with retired family friends who depend on us to visit during the holidays. They needed me.
• We attended three different Christmas parties because we felt obligated. They needed us.

Looking back, I could add more to the list, but you get the point.

“There is no ideal Christmas, only the one you decide to make as a reflection of your values, desires, affections, and traditions.”  — Bill McKibben        

The Bottom Line

In trying to please, soothe, and serve everyone else, I stopped considering what was best for me and my life. By saying “yes” to everything and everyone, I burned myself out and became emotionally unavailable to anyone.

The result? A throbbing finger, a cold, too much wine, too much food, and an unforgettable lesson about boundaries.

Y.E.S.: Three Positive Attitude Tips for More Peace, Love, and Happiness

Thankfully, I haven’t had another cranky Christmas since 2005, and I’ve even learned to enjoy the holidays again! Here are three simple, yet powerful, tips that help me stay grounded in peace, love, and happiness—both at home and at work.

Y – Say YES to your feelings.

Acknowledge, embrace, and express how you feel. Don’t dwell on it, but be honest with yourself. Unacknowledged feelings often lead to overindulgence, burnout, and frustration. By recognizing my exhaustion and overwhelm earlier, I could have made different decisions.

YES Mantra: “I am where I am, and where I am is good. Knowing where I am helps me get to where I want to go.”

E – Empower yourself by being deliberate about what you say YES to.

The only person you can control is yourself. Decide to prioritize what brings peace, love, and happiness into your life. Saying “yes” to everything doesn’t serve you—or anyone else.

YES Mantra: “I am responsible for how my life feels, so I will make more deliberate decisions about how I use my time.”

S – Be selfish enough to tune into what YOU need.

True self-care isn’t selfish; it’s love. When you prioritize your needs, you bring your best self to others. Saying “yes” to what feels good for you ensures you’re emotionally available to give love and support to others.

YES Mantra: “The best gift I can give others is my peace, love, and happiness. I can’t give it if I don’t have it.”