How I saved a client ￡30,000 in just one hour

Relocations are an expensive business and particularly tricky during a pandemic. During Covid, I worked with an Indian man who had moved with his family from Oman to Manchester. At our first session, he told me he didn't want any cultural training, because he already knew he had made a mistake and wanted to take his family home again. I saved the company probably ￡30-50,000 by talking to him for an hour about what he was going through and that it would end.

Expatriates need both cultural training and to learn how to be an expat - and the latter is often harder. If the employee is a first-time expat, they are diving into the unknown, and cannot know until they have been there for a while how well they will fare or what type of support might help them.? Of course, they can ask for additional support, but new employees are often reluctant to do so; knowing how much their relocation cost the company, who is actually going to admit how much they are struggling, how much they hate their new boss or how unhappy their partner is?

Covid was a game-changer for me, as I found myself working with some really stressed expatriates, who all needed a brand new approach to getting settled. After 20 years of being asked to treat life coaching, expatriate coaching and intercultural training as separate items, I've learned that where I do my best work is the space where they all combine - and where the whole is always greater than the sum of its parts.

Intercultural training does what it says – it provides essential information for people working across different cultures, be they expatriates, members of a global team or working for a new client. It is by no means simply a lesson, but it is certainly less emotionally charged than coaching sessions tend to be. Key emotions might include surprise (sometimes even incredulity), dismay and mild concern as to how wide some cultural gaps are.

Key emotions among my expatriate coaching clients, however, are often confusion and frustration.? If they have had cultural training, they may know what they need to do – but can’t get comfortable doing it.? If they haven’t, they just know they are doing something ‘wrong’, or in a way that isn’t working for them, but they don’t know what 'it' is or why it’s happening.? Their response is usually limited and doesn’t bleed out into the rest of their lives, although it can do sometimes.? As a coach, I can give them the strategies they need to adapt and help them to see the rewards inherent in being both more flexible and more self-aware.?

VINCENT is a classic example, a young Asian man used to a very hierarchical structure who had moved to a flat management structure. Whenever his new manager asked for feedback, he replied that he thought everything was "a great idea". Vincent's manager thought he lacked initiative and vision and Vincent was unsure how to behave. Coaching helped them both to understand each others' values and perspectives and once Vincent was given more encouragement and reassurance, he blossomed.

In my life coaching clients, the key emotions are often sadness, combined with disappointment and frustration. They often feel that they are missing out on something, but can’t identify what ‘it’ is or how to get it.

An example of a ‘classic’ life coaching client is MILLY, who felt pressured by her parents to follow a particular career path which she was good at, but really didn't like. I helped her to give herself permission to look elsewhere and to put what she wanted above the expectations being put upon her.

The 'Sweet Spot'?

The ‘sweet spot’, for me, is bringing together intercultural training, expatriate coaching and life coaching skills, enabling the client to benefit on multiple levels. Expatriates benefit from the mixture because if they have not received any cultural training, it doesn’t occur to them that the cause of the misunderstanding might be cultural – they just assume that it’s personal.? Blaming themselves can then often infect their whole lives and they can spiral downwards very quickly.

When Australian JAMES moved to Sweden in October, he tried hard to make friends with the Swedes he met at work and out socially.? However, he found that people were not overly friendly; if they accepted his invitation, it was never returned and while work colleagues were pleasant enough, nothing continued outside of the workplace.? By the time April came, James had lost a lot of his confidence and his natural out-going personality; he blamed himself for not being 'likeable' in Sweden, for something having changed in him and as a result he became quite withdrawn, homesick and lonely.? Learning that the Swedes 'turn inwards' during the winter months (literally and metaphorically) removed a large part of the inadequacy he was feeling and coaching gave him the confidence he needed to try again in the spring – this time with much greater success.

And when YING, a young Chinese woman, was fast tracked to Melbourne she struggled on multiple levels, all of which contributed to a huge loss of self-confidence.? Her English was not as good as she thought it was and she found meetings very difficult. She was used to being told what to do, not asked what she thought. And she was used to being part of a ‘collective’ society and found herself the only woman in a team of sport-obsessed individualists.? They wondered why on earth she had been fast-tracked; she wondered how quickly she could return to China.? Teaching both Ying and the team about the differences between Chinese and Australian culture (in and out of the office) allowed her to stop blaming herself, and them to understand how they could better support her and benefit from all she had to offer.

I met MEDI while I was coaching his wife and he overheard some of our conversation.? She was unhappy because he was unhappy and had been so since moving from Lebanon to England; he didn’t enjoy his new job and couldn’t fathom why something that had been so easy at home was suddenly so difficult.? His attempts at leadership failed and his efforts to build close ties with his colleagues – including sharing his enthusiasm for attending his boss’ wedding, to which he was not actually invited – were not welcome.? What was he doing wrong? Of course, nothing wrong – just everything differently.? Coming from the Middle East, he was used to a close overlap of professional and personal spheres, where colleagues were also friends and would often attend each other’s weddings and family events.? He was also used to an acceptance of hierarchy and as acting manager, proceeded to make changes to the program everyone was working on without discussing it with them first. ?Not surprisingly, learning the local rules of engagement made life a lot more enjoyable for everyone.

A simple safety-net

The problem is that many expatriates are not offered this combination of services. Unfortunately, a lot of HR and GM staff who facilitate expatriate moves have never been expats themselves and have not experienced for themselves how utterly miserable and hard the first few months can be and how even a little support can literally make the difference between success and failure.

A simple way to build in a safety net which protects both the employee and the expected ROI is just to offer a number of hours of ‘Expatriate Support’, which includes inter-cultural training AND any other kind of coaching support that the expat wants.? This way, the expat advises what they need and when, for themselves or their family member. This might be career support, networking skills, life coaching, team management, help for struggling teenagers...or sometimes just a person to lean on, when it feels like everyone else is leaning on you.

We are all ‘Zoomers’ now, so all support can be delivered online, timing can be completely flexible and all locations can be reached.? I was volunteering on a horse ranch in Ecuador recently and continued working with my clients in Sweden, Dubai, Ireland and California. The old model of sitting people down for 8 hours and telling them everything they might need to know in the next three years is no longer fit for purpose; instead, you can give them a much more effective slow and steady drip feed of information in response to their experiences and challenges.

My clients are proof that this approach works. One recent testimonial reads "This has helped me become a valued team member at work and also improved my personal life. I can not thank Patti enough and I hope she can continue changing peoples life for the better."

Contact me to discuss how I can help your expatriate employees and their families, wherever they are. An expat myself since the age of 8, and a coach and trainer for the last 20, I have learned a lot from my own and from my clients' experiences and know that I can help yours too.

Contact: [email protected]