How I Overcame My Fear of Talking To People

How I Overcame My Fear of Talking To People

Would it surprise you to know that at one time, the idea of walking into a room full of strangers, attending a networking event alone, or speaking on a stage, paralyzed me?

I know that a personal interaction was and is one of the best ways to build trust. That the physical ability to shake hands, see verbal expressions, and detect other non-verbal cues would all help me to foster a stronger, more trusting relationship with others and grow my business.

However, six years ago my brain understood this, but my body and heart reacted in a polar opposite direction.

So what I did was created myself a cheat sheet of the simplest questions to try to overcome my fear of approaching people. I’d attend an event for the sole purpose of just asking people simple questions, with no intention of having a full conversation or doing any business. My goal was to overcome my fear.

Once I approached a lady who had on a wedding ring. ‘I said hello, I see you are married, do you have any children?’ ( PS. women love to talk about their kids) That resulted in a 15 minute conversation about her son.

Another event a man had a golf shirt on. I approached him, said hello and asked him if he liked to golf and what was the best gold course he had ever golfed at? 35 minutes later, I had learned all about the game of golf because he was a golf pro.

At another event, I noticed a lady with a designer handbag. I approached her and said hello. I asked her if she had bought that handbag locally. I learned that her daughter had purchased it for her. Which led to my next question, what does your daughter do for a living that she could afford such a beautiful handbag? 15 minutes later …

I quickly realized that people loved to talk about themselves, their family, and their expertise. I just had to ask a question about one of those three topics and listen.

I believe that the connections we make frequently yield some of the richest experiences of our lives, especially when they are unplanned.

That making a connection is part of the entrepreneurship journey, well at least mine any way.

Fast forward to today and most recently a close colleague of mine paid me the best compliment of my career. While engaging in a conversation with another person he said, ‘Lisa has this innate sense, it’s like she just knows … how and who to approach to make a genuine connection in a room full of people.’

Today with so much technology and opportunity, wheeling and dealing, now more than ever it’s so important to know that the connections that we make with others are genuine. That we can and will achieve greater success if our transactions are heartfelt and not just about making the sale.

I believed six years ago, as I do today that you are doing yourself a disservice if you do not open yourself up to new opportunities that can enrich you, your company, your employees and your stakeholders.

I leave you with one final comment. In my soul I truly believe that touch builds trust. It creates a kinetic energy that people can feel that allows us to do business with each other.

It is my wish for you that make as many connections as possible, you never know when a conversation can lead to a 'handshake' and an adjacent possibility that will create you a new opportunity.

 Love,

Lisa

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Lisa is the founder of XTRAcredits Group Inc. She is relentlessly optimistic, entrepreneurial, and future-focused. She encourages contrarian thinking and rapid experimentation.

Lisa has worked with personal brands and companies such as Grant Cardone, Gordon Tredgold, Tom Hopkins, Jim Cathcart, Patricia Fripp, Dr. Tony Alessandra, Assessments24x7, Society of Human Resource Professionals, and many more. Find out more about Lisa by clicking here.

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Michele Ellie Ahi

Chief Technology Officer, AIV Ventures Managing Partner

6 年

great article! ...what you know is important and opens the doors but then is more about who you know so you can apply your wonderful skills!

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