How I overcame my fear of flying...and travelled to 13 countries

For most of my life, I had never stepped foot on a plane. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. You see for a long time I’ve had Anxiety, but even before Anxiety reared its ugly head, I had a fear of flying. I would often be asked “How can you fear something you’ve never done before?”. Well you can, and I did.

The fear of flying was seriously debilitating like a lot of anxiety sufferers, fearing the unknown sometimes takes over your thoughts and makes rational thinking impossible. The fact that I had this fear of flying wasn’t a big problem for me as it was something I accepted I would never likely do. Something that unfortunately meant I would be limited in life professionally too. But it wasn’t about me only, my partner (now husband) wanted us to travel. He dreamed of travelling the world together, and it was something I continued to delay time after time because of my fear.

What is a fear of flying

According to Wikipedia, Fear of flying is a fear of being on an airplane (aeroplane), or other flying vehicle, such as a helicopter, while in flight. It is also referred to as flying phobia, flight phobia, aviophobia or aerophobia. Fear of flying may be a distinct phobia, or it may be an indirect combination of one or more other disorders, such:

• Claustrophobia (a phobia of being restricted, confined, or unable to escape) or;
• Acrophobia (anxiety or dread of being at a great height) or;
• Agoraphobia (especially the type associated with having a panic attack in a place they can't escape from).

It is a symptom rather than a disease, and different causes may bring it about in different individuals. This phobia receives more attention than most other phobias because air travel is often difficult for people to avoid—especially in professional contexts—and because it is common, affecting a significant minority of the population. Inability to maintain emotional control when aloft may prevent a person from going on vacations or visiting family and friends, and it can cripple the career of a businessperson by preventing them from travelling on work-related business.

For me personally, when I think about my fear of flying, mine was a combination of all the above. My fear of flying started very young, because growing up in a family of 8, it was almost impossible for my parents to afford interstate travel let alone overseas. It was something we simply never did together.

When I was forced to fly

In September 2009, I had started a new role. This role saw me come in and help the IT Director manage the IT Development team and required me to oversee over 350 developments as part of a large company merger. The main development team was based in Melbourne and the other company had a team in Sydney.

It was my role to bring these teams together to oversee the successful completion of all development activities. There were many challenges, namely the fact that the Sydney team had been prematurely notified they were being made redundant at the end of the Project. I knew I had to go and meet the team in person to provide them support and hear their concerns, so we could work together as they too were having challenges. My manager suggested I go and I agreed (reluctantly).

I knew the situation was bad and felt there was no other way. I agreed I would do what’s necessary, inside I trembled.

My stomach began churning and I had the rest of the evening and the next day to prepare myself for my first flight. Now I know what you’re thinking, flying to Sydney is a one-hour flight from Melbourne, what’s the big deal?

But for someone with an intense fear of flying, the thought was crippling and hard to comprehend. I’ve always been one to accept a challenge, I think it makes you stronger and it certainly has for me. Now I’d accepted the situation, how could I prepare for my first flight ever!?

How I overcame my fear of flying

I did what most of us do when we are trying to solve a problem, I frantically tried to google for an answer. I continued to search and stopped when I found the website of Captain Stacey L Chance called Fear of Flying Help. Captain Stacey L. Chance is a commercial airline pilot of 30 years and former flight instructor. Through his experience, he developed a 5 Lesson Course to help people overcome the fear of flying. The course was about an hour long, and although sceptical at first, I decided to give it a try.

I found a quiet place at home, where I could be uninterrupted, and completed his online course. I found the course very helpful, it explained and debunked many of the myths I had created in my head, for example “what if the engine fails?” and so many more. I repeated the course again the following night and felt better prepared and little less anxious, just a little.

'What if the engine fails? What if there is smoke? What happens if a bird hits the plane?'

Did I overcome my fear of flying as a result

No. I didn’t. It would be crazy to think a long-ingrained fear could be resolved so quickly. I will say I was significantly more informed as a result and better prepared in turn. On the day of travel, I was fortunate to be travelling with a colleague, but not so fortunate to be travelling with my new manager. With a colleague I was willing to accept making a fool of myself if I began to panic!

As the plane started to commence its take off, I was very uncomfortable (not that my manager was aware!) but was also well informed so felt a sense of calm amongst the chaos as I felt like I knew what to expect now.

'I was better prepared as a result of the course'

Onboard my first flight, I had things to keep me occupied such as books to read. I won’t lie, it was uncomfortable, and it was stressful, but I wasn’t at the point of panic and managed to have a normal conversation all the way there. Although I did it, an achievement, I didn’t enjoy it and kept my feet on the ground for a while after that. My boyfriend proposed that month and I knew I had to start planning my next trip, our honeymoon. At least I had some time up my sleeve!

What happened next

In 2012, I was married. For our honeymoon (the fear of flying still strong), I proceeded to book one of the closest locations to Australia. We went to Vanuatu. I was prepared, I think I took my whole first aid cabinet (which we ended up needing since we both fell sick). The flight was more intense this time, but I practised paced breathing and tried to keep myself distracted. Another achievement considering it was 3 years before I had travelled for the first time.

In 2014, I travelled to Fiji this year as it was the next closest tropical place and I felt more comfortable being on a short distance flight. I was beginning to feel more comfortable with each flight.

In 2015, we completed a long-awaited trip to Europe, because as I was asked by the University of Aarhus, Denmark to run a day course as part of their International Project Management studies. This gave me the confidence to arrange a long overdue Europe trip around this event. It was a good opportunity to push the boundaries and travel further beyond my comfort zone. So that’s what we did, that year we travelled for four and a half weeks through Dubai – Italy – Spain – Netherlands – Denmark – Malaysia. The Denmark presentations were a success and I had chipped away further at my fear of flying.

In 2015- 2016, as part of part of my role as Global PMO Manager for ANZ, I was asked to take on added responsibility and plan and run the ANZ and UnionPay International Product Launch Events across New Zealand, Fiji and Cambodia. I was responsible for ensuring all the events which involved dignitaries such as Prime Ministers and Attorney Generals ran like clockwork. They did. This role saw me travel 4 times in 6 months. A great achievement, and another chip off the fear of flying block!

Then later in 2016, after 2 years supporting over 25 implementations across 13 countries, as the Program ramped down, I took the chance and travelled to Singapore & Japan. Japan has been somewhere I’ve been fascinated by for a very long time. Doing so was quite exciting and despite a lot of heavy turbulence, I was still confident I would survive OK.

In 2017, after a big year delivering projects with Agile Management Office, I took my first trip to the USA, travelling to Hawaii for a ten-day getaway. A wonderful experience and the most comfortable, calm I have ever felt whilst flying.

Its been 8 years since I started to travel and have now been to 13 countries globally, and I will say it has gotten easier, sometimes the flights are harder than others but with all the learnings, my experiences so far and my newfound confidence, I think I can do anything if I set my mind to it. It just takes courage, persistence and patience.

I’m not done yet, there is still a lot of travel left in me. I am excited for what the future brings. There are many places on my bucket list including Greek Islands, mainland US, Maldives, France and the UK to name a few.

It’s that time of year where many of us are travelling to be with friends and family and to spend Christmas and the holidays away from home. It’s a busy time of the year for airports the world over. It’s also a stressful time for many travellers who have a fear of flying. I hope that by sharing my story, it may be able to help one of you who may have a fear to ease your fear and show you it’s possible (not easy) to overcome too. 

My Top Tips

• Plan your trip in advance, make sure your organised
• Complete the online training course in advance
• Take baby steps and build up to bigger trips with longer distances
• Find enjoyable things to keep you distracted and entertained on board
• Travel with someone who understands your anxieties
• Be patient with yourself, but also believe in yourself that you can do anything you set your mind to

I hope you’ve enjoyed sharing my journey so far. I hope that if you or someone you know has a fear of flying, they can benefit in some way from reading this, please feel free to share!

Fatimah Abbouchi is Founder and Director of Agile Management Office and BoochiCo. She is a speaker, presenter and PMO Thought Leader, she helps organisations implement and sustain better PMO strategies, driving cost reduction and improving efficiency. She is an advisor to corporations across several industries. She was a presenter at the 2016 PMO Leadership Summit, Melbourne and facilitated on International Project Management at the Aarhus University, Denmark. She makes sense of the chaos. Contact her at [email protected] for more information.

Sources:

• Wikipedia for Fear of Flying description
• https://www.fearofflyinghelp.com/ for Captain Stacey Chance image and course info
• Anxiety person image: https://www.consonantlyspeaking.com
• Image of Person Flying: www.express.co.uk
• All travel photos: Fatimah Abbouchi