How I overcame my fear of failure

In this series, professionals discuss their experiences accomplishing something for the first time. Read their stories here, then write your own using #IWasTheFirst in the body of the post. 

The baby boomer generation, who raised millennials like me, grew up with a completely different roadmap for success. Their parents grew up during the great depression, so when they became of age, they prioritized job security and financial predictability. Excitingly, they built the following model to achieve happiness:

1)  Got to college - by 18

2)  Get a skill specific job in a corporation (ideally for 30+ years) - by 22

3)  Buy a home – by 30

4)  Retire and collect a pension – by 60

Poof!

The great recession hit in 2008 and this reliable, nearly 50 year old model, blew up.  Millennials like myself were left to pick up the pieces and design our own road map to happiness.

Our reality is much different. The cost of college has exploded, chaining teenagers to insurmountable debt. Annual inflation now rises faster then salaries increase. The only way for us to earn more is to bounce from company to company every two years. Aspirations of owning a home have been replaced with experiences and travel, and the idea of a “pension” sounds like it was taken from the pages of a fairytale long ago.

These realizations slapped me in the face 3 years ago. I realized that the “corporate grind” would not give me the happiness and fulfillment in my career I aspired to wake up to everyday. I wanted to become the CEO of the companies I worked for, but realized that so did the other 30,000+ employees who worked there. The odds were slim to say the least. And the risk of not achieving my goal was even higher.

So, I launched a tech company as CEO/ Co-Founder. I was the first in my family to do so. 

The first step in this journey however, was deciding to become the CEO of my own life. To do that, I asked myself one simple question that I’d now like to poise to you.

What if your fears are just in your own head?

I challenge you to not fear failure. To not fear struggle. Instead use them like a plant does water and the sun, to catalyze your own growth. 

In the ever-changing global economy that we live in, one’s ability to take on risks has become a necessity for our survival. 

Now three years have passed and my team I and were fortunate to get acqui-hired by a larger company in San Francisco. I’ve reflected on what inspired me to be the first CEO in my family; to all of a sudden decide to no longer fear failure or struggle.

It took me freeing myself of my own ego.

I challenge YOU to relinquish yours at all costs. Now. 

It is the only thing that holds you back from being free enough to find your purpose.

Instead of staying in the comfort of your own ego, seek out adversity, the soil of one’s success.

Because in failure, there is freedom. 

I have been fortunate enough to call failure the foundation of my life’s structure. The wearier I was, the more dejected I felt while building my business, the higher I rose. The closer I got my passion.

Turning an idea into something that the world could consume is absolutely fascinating to me. By escaping my own ego, I was able to find my purpose and find happiness.

I have made more progress in getting what I want out of life in the last two years, then I had in the previous 26. I have been featured in TIME Magazine, Tech Crunch, the Wall St. Journal, and even shared a stage with Mark Zuckerberg.

Finding my purpose by waking up every morning and shedding my ego is how I was able to accomplish being the first.

 Brian Gerrard is the Founder of Bae. He led the company in becoming one of the fastest growing social/dating apps in the world. He now runs marketing at If(we), where he builds and manages social apps across 300Mil users. Brian also runs a consulting practice for early stage startups. He is based in San Francisco. Hit him up [email protected] !