How I overcame the allure of superficial entertainment and embraced personal development in order to improve my "why"?
Have you ever found yourself engrossed in superficial entertainment, only to realize that it's hindering your personal growth and progress towards your “why” and true purpose?
Reflecting on my own experiences, I discovered that our consumption habits profoundly impact our actions, behaviors, and ultimately, our trajectory in life. Whether it's succumbing to the allure of social media influencers or falling into the trap of constant comparison, our distractions can distance us from our work, fragment our attention, impede our productivity, and even lead to impulsive spending driven by fleeting dopamine rushes.
In this article, I’m trying to explore the profound influence of consumption habits in work and productivity, while sharing practical strategies to master focus. By understanding the impact of distractions around us and adopting effective techniques, we can reclaim control over our time, unlock our true potential, and align our actions with our "why."
THE ILLUSION OF DISTRACTIONS
I remember this conversation with my ex-boyfriend who, when I told him that I felt like I was wasting my time and I was regressing watching tv shows or programs that I call “light”, told me that it was a way to have fun and to “to clear our mind”. Wait.. what? Looking at childish dramas and talking about gossip was not, in my eyes, a way to clear our mind. Listening to interviews about the lives and problems of unknown people was not going to move me forward in life either. Quite the contrary.
However, I had my Youtubeuses beauty time between the ages of 16 and 20, so I experienced this micro period of distraction (although at the same time, I continued to learn about entrepreneurship and marketing) where I followed women now called “Influencers” talking about their latest fashion and beauty purchases.
I remember how naive I was when they were all starting to promote a product at the same time, and I thought, “oh my God, this product must be great if they’re all talking about it right now.” It was the beginning of… PARTNERSHIPS. But hidden partnerships! So I blindly let myself be tempted by the purchase of Naked makeup palettes, MAC lipsticks, Victoria Secret creams and lotions, and I was looking for a solution to get the Covergirl mascara that you could only buy by going to the USA… good long-term investment, right?
HOW YOUR CONSUMPTION HABITS IMPACT YOUR WORK AND PRODUCTIVITY
So why am I telling you this? Well, to prove to you something you must have understood by reading this anecdote: you become what you consume.
The way you consume will impact your actions and behaviour. It’s by having this kind of distraction that:
One of the major culprits today is the time spent "observing" the lives of others, whether through social media influencers or other content sources. It’s all well and good to follow beauty influencers and watch their 'day in my life' vlog where they do a thousand and one things, but what does all this mean? Do you take charge of your life to make it better? Do you put actions in place to keep moving towards your “why”? Do you feel more valued after watching it? Do you feel that you have learned something useful for your personal development or for yourself?
Studies show that such distractions can:
This is not surprising, as the sense of social comparison that comes from observing the lives of others can generate anxiety and undermine our self-confidence. When you spend your time "observing" the lives of others, especially through social medias, you’re exposed to a filtered and often idealized version of reality. And it’s there that the distortion is created between the reality of your own life and the appearances projected by others.
To overcome this tendency to constantly compare oneself to others, it’s essential to cultivate positive self-awareness and focus on your own journey. It’s important to remember that each person has a unique story and that appearances can be misleading. We must recognize our own accomplishments, strengths and progress, and celebrate our successes, however modest.
Instead of spending your time watching the lives of others, invest your energy in personal growth! Discover what your passions are and pursue your own goals while always remembering your “why”. By focusing on your own achievements, you will be able to strengthen your self-confidence and nurture a growth mindset, focused on continuous progress and personal improvement.
PUT YOURSELF FIRST
To come back to my personal experience, I will tell you about my people-pleasing and good girl conditioning problem and how it impacted my focus and my health.
I’ve always enjoyed doing people a service, and it’s no secret to anyone (at least not in my inner circle). I spent about 28 years putting the happiness of others first, whether in my friendly, loving and professional relationships. I’m tired but you need to talk to someone? I’ll sleep later and I’ll listen to you now. Need travel advice on a certain destination? No problem, I will make you a pdf guide in 2 or 3 hours with a list of places to visit and where you can eat. You want professional photos but you don’t have money to pay for a photographer? Don’t worry, I have a good camera so I’ll come and do it for you in the afternoon. Do you need me to work longer? Okay I can help, that’ll be a week at 60.
No matter my condition, no matter my schedule, I always put others first. I wanted to be that friend or colleague you can rely on and who will always be loyal (because I behaved as I would have liked to be behaved with). Even if I didn’t want to, I would say yes. To please. To help. To support. To arrange. I asked little, and I also refused little. My friends can also confirm that I rarely initiate things. If I’m not contacted, I rarely contact. So what do I do? Well.. I create, I draw, I write, I look for new music, I learn, I introspect about who I am and where I go, I walk, I take pictures, in short: I’m in my bubble and I progress on my projects. Being a hermit and doing things on my own never bothered me.
领英推荐
Because of this behaviour, it was very difficult for me to express my emotions, my feelings, and to explicitly announce what I disliked. I grew up without the courage to impose my boundaries. If you knew what I was able to accept in the past.. Oh waouw! I blamed myself for that, by the way.
CRUSHING DISTRACTIONS: STRATEGIES FOR MAINTAINING LASER-SHARP FOCUS
And how did I manage to gradually change that, you wonder? By starting to plan short-term and long-term goals and by getting to know me through my astral chart and my human design. And yes, with all due respect to some people, there are things that I didn’t understand about myself but that immediately made sense when studying astrology and other systems related to the alignment of planets.
A silly example, in my chart, Jupiter is in house 6, which is the house that… encourages a sense of service and compassion for others! It was no surprise that I kept trying to accommodate people and forgetting myself at the same time (I’ll let you do your own research, because I’m definitely not here to tell you about my personal transformation journey thanks to spirituality). But now that I know more about myself and understand where my shortcomings come from, I don’t say yes if it’s not a “FUCK YES” anymore, I organize and manage my time as I wish, even if it may be unpleasant, I listen to my gut but also, I opted for a solution that was radical but very useful for me: I moved to a place where I know no one, except my roommate (and my co-workers now). I miss being friendly and hanging out, but as I like socializing and meeting new people, I had to make a decision in order to stay focused and avoid distractions:? I decided to “disappear” for a few months in order to prioritize the evolution of my business.
So, if you can’t (and don’t want to) disappear, what are the potential solutions to stay focused when you can’t leave everything like I did? Here are 5 examples of strategy for maintaining focus:
1. Set clear and achievable goals:
Set specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound (SMART) goals. This will help you stay focused on concrete results.
2. Establish routines and schedules:
Create daily habits that promote your focus. Allow specific periods to work on your projects without distractions. For example, to avoid scrolling unnecessarily on Instagram (even if it’s only about business, personal development content and art), I set an alarm that rings after 20 min spent on the network. That way, I know it’s time to refocus, close the app and move on!
3. Practice mindfulness:
Learn to cultivate mindfulness by focusing on the present moment. This will help you become aware of your distractions and let them pass.?
4. Limit access to distractions:
Reduce exposure to notifications, social networks and other distractions by disabling notifications. Put your phone on airplane mode if you have to be 100% focused on your task.
5. Surround yourself with the right people:
Surround yourself with people who share your vision and commitment to personal growth. Their support and advice can help you stay motivated and focused. If you want to start a business, try to create a circle close to people who have the same will as you.?
CONCLUSION
So I guess we all agree, distractions can be major obstacles on our path to success. However, by understanding the brain mechanisms behind our distractions, learning to understand our unique functioning and implementing practical solutions, we can stay focused on our projects and cultivate a growth-oriented mindset.?
By adopting little strategies such as setting clear goals, setting routines and practicing mindfulness, you can maximize your productivity, unleash your potential and achieve your goals with confidence.
Your turn!
What is your relationship to all the distractions you have around you?
What would be your tips for staying focused on your goals and projects?
Let’s chat about it!