How I mustered the confidence to ask for a celebrity book endorsement ??

Welcome to Quick Confidence! This weekly letter delivers a spritz of stories, tips and simple actions that will build your confidence and your power. Each quick tip bolsters confidence in your body, mind, and relationships so you can lead yourself and others to greatness.?

Asking an important person you know for advice, a favor or a meeting can be intimidating. You worry it will be a drain on their time, that they’ll dismiss your request, or worse – ignore you altogether.

But what about when you *don’t* know the person?? That’s a whole other level of trepidation, don't you agree?

I recently experienced this firsthand when I approached someone who I admire.?

You see, I happen to be a huge Margaret Cho fan – she’s a comedian and actress who inspires me with her boldness, humor, confidence, and authenticity. As I was writing my book, I kept thinking of her work and feeling — in a deep way — like she might connect with the words I was writing on the page.?

And as any author will tell you, one of the final steps of preparing to launch a book into the world is to ask for endorsements from prominent leaders…I’m sure you see where this is going.

The only issue was that I don’t know Margaret Cho and have no connections to her either! Even so, I used the steps below to ask her to endorse my book, and guess what? Not only did she say yes, but it was the most generous endorsement ever!

Here are 3 steps I recommend you use to approach an important figure in your world. You might just be shocked by their positive reply.

Quick Confidence Tips for Asking Someone You Admire for a Favor:

1. Mindset: Let go of the outcome. You might be surprised to see that the first step of the asking process is to not get too attached to a specific or perfect outcome. But this step is important. I used to take it very personally when I asked someone for an endorsement, guest interview, or to collaborate and they said NO. But now that I’ve been on the other side and fielded these requests myself, I’ve realized that plenty of times people don’t say no because of you personally. So, as you prepare to make your request, I want you to bring a lightness to it. Come up with a visual that represents letting go – for example, picture releasing a beautiful balloon outside and letting the wind take it where it will ultimately go.
2. Interpersonal: Use a 3-step outreach process. Here’s the process that worked for me and I recommend you try it too. First, be enthusiastically appreciative of the person you’re reaching out to. State a specific thing that resonated with you. Don’t say something generic like “I just really love your work.” Say “your recent presentation really stood out to me because of what you said about X!” or “I was so intrigued by what you shared in your newest podcast on Y” or “I can’t tell you how much of an impression it made on me when you wrote this line about Z”. Being specific makes you a lot more memorable in their eyes. Next, say who you are and how their work maps to your goals. You could say, “As a fellow ABC/aspiring XYZ, I’m eager to learn more about your journey.” Then, end the email with a call to action or request. That gives them a reason to immediately respond to your note particularly if it ends in a question like: “Would you have time for a short meeting in the next few weeks?” or “If you have time for a few questions, I’d be excited to send them your way. Would you be open to that?” ?
3. Embodied: Reward your efforts. As a final step in approaching the person you admire, I’d like you to recognize and reward the positive, courageous action you just took. If you’re someone who has trouble patting yourself on the back, this may feel foreign or even “over the top.” But let me assure you that rewarding ourselves, even with a small physical token, can increase our motivation and prime us to take future bold actions! After receiving my wonderful book endorsement from Margaret, (and after sending her a huge thank you!), I celebrated by getting a relaxing massage.?

My biggest takeaway — a lesson that has proven true time and time again throughout my career — is that without bold action there are no big rewards.

Sure it was scary to reach out to a celebrity but had I not, I wouldn’t have an amazing endorsement from a woman that I greatly admire.

And if she had ignored my attempts to get in touch with her? Well, I’d be no worse off had I not approached her in the first place…so why not go for it, right?

How about you? Is there a superstar in your industry you’d love to sit down with or someone whose career you admire and want to know more about? Let me know in the comments if today’s Quick Confidence has inspired you to reach out to that person and how you’ll reward yourself for making the bold move.

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