How I Met The Person Who Gave Me Hope for the Future - Simon Sinek

Who are you?

What is the feeling you want to instill in the people around you? 

When you were younger, did you fully understand yourself? 

Does your online personality match who you are in real life?

For the past few years, I’ve embarked upon a challenging journey in search of self-discovery. I’ve paved this path to uncovering my true self with the answers to questions like these. I’m sharing the story of a set of personal experiences to help make your road a little easier to travel.

Have the adversities you’ve encountered provided you with clarity and perspective to make better decisions for the future?

Do you surround yourself with people who fully align with your core values?

Are you prioritizing relationships with people you want to build your life around in the long haul?

I wrote this article to help you navigate life a little more meaningfully. One special person helped me make one of the toughest decisions of my life. This decision eventually transported me to where I’ve always been meant to be. 

It’s never easy to find the courage to stand out when everyone around you is trying to fit in. During my junior year of college, I hit rock bottom. I had lost touch of who I was completely, and everything I was striving so hard to accomplish felt meaningless. The constant pursuit of directionless achievement for the sake of external applause took its toll on me. 

Where was I going? I was pushing myself to the breaking point by striving to overcome shortcomings and insecurities from my previous chapter in life — and it came at an expense.

I kept immersing myself in relationships that brought out my most immature side. Lacking self-awareness, I kept taking the same actions and expecting different results. I burned out many times, often hurting myself in the process. Even when I succeeded, I felt aimless. What was the point of achievement if I didn’t have any end goals? 

Finally, I gave myself a hard look in the mirror. I knew I had to answer this question: What is my purpose?

I don’t regret the hard work I invested in studying marketing, communication, and relationship building in college. These are valuable skills I still use to this day. My real regret is not setting a path with intentionality earlier. I wish I could tell my younger self to carefully consider where I ultimately wanted to end up. The silver lining of this struggle was gaining the perspective I needed to clearly see the life I want, and how to live it — on my own terms.

Once equipped with more self-awareness, I could finally pay attention to the things that spoke to me and felt right on a visceral level. This process of self-discovery wasn’t easy, though. During my darker days, I vividly remember watching a TED Talk in class that changed my life forever: How Great Leaders Inspire Action by Simon Sinek. Simon’s words filled me with hope for my future. It felt like he was speaking directly to me, hitting me to my core, telling me I could create something meaningful, too. His energy and passion radiated from the heart.

Watching that TED talk left me so motivated that I dedicated my whole summer to unpacking Simon’s speech in therapy as I delved deeper into uncovering myself. I devoured his book within a week as I connected to his work even more. Putting my blood, sweat, and tears into this challenging and often deeply uncomfortable inner work was beyond rewarding. I entered my senior year completely transformed, like a crab that finally found a new shell. A new identity came over me, one that felt “like me,” but this caused my relationships to change too. I was looking to connect with people navigating similar experiences – through their own stories.

The night after the Tennessee vs. Georgia football game, I skipped the parties and pondered deep questions in my bed. My thoughts kept me up until 3 AM, and kept circling back to one question: “How do you write something meaningful to influence others for the better?” I’m not sure why I landed on that question, but apparently I wasn’t alone in seeking the answer. Hundreds of conversations followed and led me to build a platform to foster vulnerable conversation, called Wish Dish, jumpstarting 800 meaningful contributions.

Due to my lack of experience in the digital world, Wish Dish never fully took off the way I envisioned. In the process of building this platform, I skipped a lot of classes to focus on what felt so much more important — so many that I almost didn’t graduate on time. I do remember the overwhelming feeling of goosebumps during that period – and learned – when you get the goosebumps, you’re on the right path.

Reading the powerful stories that people shared about navigating challenges through writing was the most connective experience of my life. It showed me the power of creating a place for people to belong and be their full selves without judgment from others. 

As I headed into my last semester of college with a full-time job lined up in NYC at a sports marketing agency, my internal conflict dragged me down like an overwhelming weight. I was constantly asking myself the same question: Should I pursue my passion and the risks that came with it, or settle into the safety of a 9-5 job? I knew deep down that turning down the job in NYC was right for me, but it was extremely scary - in comparison to my fellow graduates who all were headed to start their careers.

Fortunately, I spent time the previous year starting the process of asking hard questions. I went back to the TED talk and all my introspective discoveries from the past summer, and took the plunge. I sent an inquiry to Simon Sinek online to ask for help to find strength and confidence in the path of my dreams. Truthfully, I never expected to hear back from the message I sent to Simon’s online portal that existed at the time. After something inside me pushed me to follow up, I finally heard back.

Simon’s teammate, Stephen Shedletzky, asked to set up a Zoom call for our first meeting. Coming from an authentic place, he really tried to understand me and my situation and even shared personal stories with me about his grandfather, a WWII prisoner. 

I was so inspired. I couldn’t believe how similar we were: we had both left corporate job opportunities to chase our passion projects. My story about feeling misunderstood seemed to resonate. Working with Stephen led me to Simon’s personal discovery Start With Why Course, an online program helping me look inward to set the tone for my future. In the end, the right choice wasn’t the one that would relate to my friends in the short term. 

In the end, the right choice was the daring one.

Fast-Forward to Summer 2019

For five years, Stephen and I stayed in touch, but never met in person. It wasn’t until an email last summer where Stephen told me he was supposed to be in town for an event where we could finally meet.

After sending a text that I’d arrived, Simon’s assistant Laila, informed me to meet upstairs. As I stood at the top of the escalator, I started to sweat as I realized this was a “setup” all along. To my surprise, it wasn’t Stephen; it was Simon Sinek himself. 

Our initial greeting followed with an invitation back to the green room before Simon’s speech. On the walk to the green room, conference attendees approached Simon were literally crying tears of joy. Many of them shared the same words: “You have changed my life.” This experience was the complete opposite of a “fan” who wanted to take a picture with a celebrity. Rather, it was an ecstatic pull of emotion from the inside out as these individuals showed genuine care for Simon’s work and his message.

Watching these reactions in real-time was incredible. How could one person have this kind of impact on others through a message? I was profoundly inspired by the idea of making this particular type of impact in my future career. 

Once we entered the green room, Simon finished preparing for his speech, sat beside me, and asked me a series of poignant questions about my passions, life, and career, and then said, “What questions do you have for me?”

In my head, I was happy to be sitting there “as one of the guys.” I hadn’t loaded my arsenal with prepared questions, but the few I asked have pushed me to leave my comfort zone, even inspiring me to expand my personal interests by exploring the arts. At that moment, I felt so valued and understood. 

After, I walked out to my seat in the front row of a sea of 10,000 people to watch Simon deliver his speech on The Infinite Game, his recently released book. During his talk, Simon’s eyes beamed down at me, making me feel like I was the only person in the room. Goosebumps washed over me yet again.

I was very drawn to the message of this talk because I saw how it was applied to long term and strategic decision making. I deeply resonated because my path has always been a series of long-term decisions at every step of the way - even when the short term results are harder and scarier. My experience meeting Simon was as real online and in his writing, as he was in person. GENUINE. But it wasn’t just Simon who was real, it was Stephen, and his assistant Laila. They all shared the same core values.

Five years ago, I was the outsider looking in, as one of the people who had a pipedream, without the skillsets to fully succeed. However, I had a vision, one that was bigger than me, which I can only achieve by following my intuition and gut instinct every step of the way. Meeting the right people like Stephen Shedletzky gave me hope for the future.

Moments like these show me there are no coincidences in life. When I meet people who have a dream, I greet them with open arms.

Why Does This Story Matter?

If I hadn’t taken the initiative to ask myself the important questions, listen to my intuition, go to therapy, and reach out to people who could help me, I would never have found the path I’m charting down today. No matter who stands in the way, tells you no, or says that who you are is not enough, you should never waiver from following your truth. And when you take the path of most resistance, put yourself in vulnerable and unknown situations, and listen to your internal feelings, it will require you to stand out fearlessly and put you on the path you are meant to explore bringing the right people into your journey - both personally and professionally.

Following Simon and his message has completely reshaped how I thought about my work and personal relationships. Now, I ask myself how I want people to respond to me, and how can I share a message that helps people belong and find their true path? More importantly, how can I make others feel as special as Simon made me feel that day?

When I chart my path forward in life, these experiences have culminated in bulletproof guidelines I know work for me. If I repeat the process of reflecting, listening internally, asking the right questions, and putting the people in my corner who will help direct me to make the decisions that are the most right, I can continue making progress toward where I’m meant to go. 

This is my hope for the world: that everyone can understand themselves fully and genuinely, carve through the woods in their own unique way, and surround themselves with people who fully embrace them for what they represent.

Special thank you to Rich Keller and Catherine Kushan - without them, I could not have wrote this article.

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