How I Lost Over 120 Pounds…

Are you husky, big-boned, or chubbier than your old jeans would prefer? Ever walk up to a buffet line and see the employees scurry in panic, as if you’re going to bankrupt the company? I can relate. I haven’t always had this Adonis-like physique (tongue in cheek; I still jiggle on the treadmill). In my prime I was over 300 pounds, today I’m a not-so-ripped 185. When you lose a lot of weight there are many things you learn: clothes are cheaper (it takes less fabric to cover a lamp shade than a boat sail), you pant less on long walks, and you do actually have veins under your skin. Who knew?!

A dear friend asked why I gained so much weight through the years. I did some deep soul-searching, thinking through my childhood and the struggles I’ve been through, and I think I figured it out: food tastes really good. Food you can add toppings to, sweet desserts, or anything from a drive-thru window tastes even better. And more of that tasty delight at the same sitting prolongs said deliciousness. Add, multiply, and divide and you get a morbidly obese person. It’s not complex why we gain weight, and it’s also not complex how to lose it.

Why Every Diet Plan Has Jaw-dropping Before & After Pics

Have you noticed how every diet plan has amazing testimonials? The surprising fact is that they all work. Some are better or worse for your health, but they’ll all do the job. Many years ago and in a galaxy far, far away, I was certified as a personal trainer and had dreams of getting into professional bodybuilding, so tackling the topic of fat loss is perhaps less mysterious to me than to the average civilian. The biological side of things is pretty straightforward. Why do they all work? Because they all reduce the number of calories you take in. It’s impossible to lose weight without that happening. It’s simple math. Here are some generic figures:

• You need to burn approximately 3,500 calories to lose a pound.[1]
• Your body naturally burns around 2,000 calories a day.[2]
• Eat fewer calories than you burn and voilà, you will become less chubby.

It really is just that simple. Calories are energy, and like gasoline, the more you put in the more energy is stored. If you put in more than your body uses in a day, your tank expands (think stretch marks). If you put in less, you’re able to burn off that stored fuel.

I don’t meticulously count calories, but I do make myself aware of the calorie ballpark of foods. (Some of my friends use apps that will do that for you, like this one.) I just literally go by my gut—it’s larger than it should be and I want it to shrink—and I remember that fact when considering eating something gooey. I know that a savory cookie will add a hundred calories and walking a mile will burn a hundred calories. From there I decide which I want more—eating the cookie or avoiding the exercise. On a good day I tend to skip the cookie and still take the walk so I’m a hundred calories closer to my goal, plus the exercise amps up my metabolism and helps me lose even more fat while I’m at rest for more of the day.[3]

Most Fat Loss Has Little to Do with Exercise

You need to exercise for the health of your heart, lungs, brain, immune system, etc., so take that very seriously, but don’t think your fat loss hangs on you finding an hour for the gym every day. Losing weight involves a lot less sweating than many think. Most weight loss comes from your plate, not your StairMaster. Experts say that 80 percent of weight loss is what you put in your tummy.[4] It’s all about eating right. It’s far easier to keep 500 calories out of your mouth than to burn that many calories in the gym. Plus, what a shame to exhaust yourself for an hour in the gym, only to reward yourself with two slices of pizza and a Coke and end up gaining weight!

Chart basis.[5]

Here are some more tips and cheat codes I learned along the way.

• Make it all about just today. When that carbilicious temptation whispers in your sugar-addicted ear, what do you do? If you’re like most, you rationalize. “You only live once; I’ll get back on track later.” I convince myself that one little splurge is no biggie, and then later on another one is no major thing, and then tomorrow I remind myself that I’m still on course, I’ll resume right after this lunch with an old friend; it’s just a bowl of warm chips and an oversized Mexican burrito smothered in refried beans with a generous heap of cheese and sour cream (I’m drooling)…I mean, how often do I see old friends? I encourage myself that I’m just getting off the wagon for a minute, but the wagon is so close I’ll just hop back on, but I rarely get right back on. I fall into old habits. I gain weight. Tomorrow never comes. So, what works incredibly well for me is just focusing on today. I don’t let myself think of tomorrow as a way to talk myself into gorging. I tell myself that I just need to get through today. My only goal is to stay on target for just today. I fight to make it through this 24-hour period with a clean conscience, no veering off, no matter what event is happening. Then when tomorrow comes I do the same. Before long, weeks have passed and I’m a far thinner man. The mindset shift works wonders. (Keep in mind, if you’ve been guzzling soda for an extended time, you may find yourself going through the equivalent of a drug withdrawal if you stop sugar cold-turkey; you may need to slowly lower the amount of sugar you take in over several days to avoid headaches and fatigue.)
• If you want to lose weight really quick…chop off an arm. It works. Otherwise, losing weight in a way that is healthy will take a while. You didn’t gain it overnight, so don’t expect it all to melt off overnight. Accept the process. Realistic expectations will help you stay motivated. If you’re a little pudgy, doctors say a healthy pace to lose weight at is one to two pounds a week;[6] anything more than that and you’re likely to experience atrophy—your muscles shrink along with your fat.[7] So while your scale will go down, it will be both fat and muscle loss—you become a smaller fat person. Remember, your heart is a muscle too, so you want to be careful that you don’t rush this and put your health in jeopardy.[8] If you see yourself losing over three pounds a week, chances are you’re restricting your calories a bit too much to be healthy.
• Not all calories are equal. Most of us know what healthy foods are and aren’t. (Froot Loops doesn’t count as a serving of fruit.) While you don’t have to get nutty and start eating grass entrées with twig snacks, know that 100 calories of Coke and 100 calories of chicken aren’t equal. They don’t contain the same nutrients and don’t offer the same benefits to your brain, hormones, muscles, etc. So, as you’re aiming for healthier eating, just be mindful. I avoided “diet” foods (many of which taste like cardboard) and ate mostly what I wanted, just in smaller portions. I stopped eating before I got full, sometimes leaving food on my plate (to the shock of my family).
• Don’t diet; develop self-control. Determine to change your lifestyle. Soda just can’t be a daily thing. We can hug it out if you need support, but that delicious black liquid from Mount Olympus has to go. Sugar tends to turn into fat, lots of sugar turns into lots of fat, and sodas have a mammoth amount of it (a can has seven teaspoons full; it’s liquid candy). Drink water till you like it. Learn that other high-calorie foods can be a treat but not the norm. You know this stuff. It isn’t profound, but you really have to stick to it and not let yourself dive into compromise.
• The four-week miracle mark. It’s commonly held that it takes a month for a new habit to form, but then it becomes the new natural. Your brain is rewired; new mental pathways are carved out. Getting on track for the first few weeks can be brutal, but once you cross that invisible month line the cravings tend to drop off and you’re in the clear. By then you’ll also see progress on the scale, you may even start getting a few encouraging words from people noticing the loss, and you’ll be feeling like a rock star. Weight loss goes on autopilot. It becomes so much easier after you get there, it really does. Fight to cross that month barrier and you’ll find wings once you do.
• Be active. You don’t need to join the wrestling team, but on your lunch break, why not take a walk outside? (That’s what I do.) Keeping the body moving is key to keeping your metabolism in fat-burning mode and helps kill those excess calories. In addition, weightlifting can help you become stronger, protect you from injury, and increase your fat loss and overall health. You could join a gym, or simply do exercises at home while you watch TV (instead of snacking): squats, push-ups, crunches, fill gallon milk jugs with water to use for dumbbells, etc.

These are generic figures; this calculator will help you get more accurate.

• We tend to be emotional, not rational. When you don’t see the scale numbers moving quickly enough, don’t get discouraged and make a Baskin-Robbins comfort run; stay the course. There are always fluctuations (water weight, undigested meal, muscle mass increases, etc.). Be rational. Biologically, if you’re eating well and being active, the weight will drop. It’s a numbers game; it’s like balancing a budget. You have mathematical certainty that you will lose fat, so you just need discipline. Don’t get discouraged or frustrated and break up with eating for health. If weeks pass and you’re not seeing your goal getting nearby, pretend like you’re a Vulcan and just use emotionally unattached logic. Just adjust your eating pattern to take in fewer calories. The hardest part of losing weight isn’t figuring out what to eat but purely staying motivated. Remind yourself that you’re on course. Just keep chasing your dream. When temptations and discouragements pop up, lock them up. Don’t entertain the thought of going off the rails for a moment; flip the channel in your mind. It’s been well said, “You can’t stop birds from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair.”

It’s About Love—Not Fitness

Throughout my life I’ve invested a small fortune into underused gym memberships, miracle supplements, and dusty home exercise equipment. You don’t need the latest gimmick or fad diet to lose weight, you need motivation on tap. For me, there have been waves of weight loss and gain through the years, but the time that stuck was when it wasn’t about me. I started to begin to have a bit of difficulty breathing, like there was a small weight on my chest. I had developed type 2 diabetes (which since losing weight has evaporated) and was feeling the effects. I realized that I could actually leave my mother all alone in the world because of being overweight. I had to lose weight…for her. That realization, sobering as it was, drove me to action. It wasn’t pleasant, it was depressing, but it changed me. I’m half the man I used to be. My habits changed out of a love for my momma.

The goal shouldn’t be to lose weight, in my opinion; it should be compassion for your loved ones and humanity. Think of them in your journey toward better health. If you get a six pack in the process, great, but it’s not about you or your body—not really. It’s not about vanity or narcissism, but about cherishing the gift of life that you have been entrusted with. It’s choosing not to recklessly throw your life to the wind by setting yourself up for future health problems. Remember those beautiful words “love your neighbor as yourself”—it’s prevented wars, fed the homeless, cared for widows and orphans, and it should help you get your weight issue under control.

You’re not Captain Invincible. You have a frail body that gets sick and breaks down. You know statistically that if you’re overweight, in time you’re likely to spin the wheel of troubling diagnoses and win type 2 diabetes, back and joint pain, a heart attack, cancer, or other debilitating maladies. (Heart disease is the #1 killer in the US,[9] much of which could have been avoided by better diet and exercise.) What happens to your loved ones? Your spouse, your kids, your parents? If you die early because of a health issue, it’s worse than spitting in their face. It’s cruel and selfish. Overeating is all about self-love, self-gratification, and self-pleasure (that’s a lot of self), but remember you’re to love others wholeheartedly. Love your loved ones, as well as love all the people you could reach and influence for the better throughout a long lifetime. Think of the charities you could support, the poverty you could help eliminate, the lives you could save. It’s a choice to have balance and moderation so that you can offer the world your future. Enjoy, but don’t overindulge. Cheat for a meal, not a day.

Everyone can lose a hundred pounds after watching a Rocky movie, but the emotion of inspiration fades. How do you keep going? Friends, the challenges with losing weight are universally the same: temptation and discouragement, and the ongoing need to keep yourself motivated when you don’t feel like it. The tips above have helped me remain disciplined when I’m in the middle of it all, and a love for my loved ones have driven me to stay on point. You can do it, you really can. Your failings yesterday don’t dictate your successes tomorrow. You can get there. Get focused, get on board, and get started today. You can take this mountain!

P.S. At the risk of sounding obvious, I’m a chubby person who got less chubby, not a doctor. Please take my advice for what it’s worth, as things that worked for me. Read the disclaimer on any diet plan: talk to your doctor before embarking on a significant health journey. Everyone’s situation is unique, and any weight loss plan could pose a danger that you’d want to walk through with a health professional.

END NOTES

[1] https://www.verywellfit.com/what-is-a-calorie-deficit-3495538

[2] https://www.everydayhealth.com/weight/how-to-achieve-one-pound-of-weight-loss.aspx

[3] https://www.livestrong.com/article/485498-does-exercise-raise-your-metabolic-rate-for-several-hours-after-the-workout/

[4] https://www.womenshealthmag.com/weight-loss/a19982520/weight-loss-80-percent-diet-20-percent-exercise

[5] https://www.womenshealthmag.com/weight-loss/a19982520/weight-loss-80-percent-diet-20-percent-exercise

[6] https://www.webmd.com/diet/lose-weight-fast#1

[7] https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/losing-weight-too-fast#TOC_TITLE_HDR_6

[8] https://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/04/20/crash.diets.harm.health/index.html

[9] https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/leading-causes-of-death.htm