How I Grew From a Hurtful Performance Review

I was reflecting today on some of my past corporate jobs and those I worked with during those days. I definitely had a huge variety of individuals as managers as well as peers. Looking back, I can see how I have learned and grown from my experiences.

One of the most hurtful situations I faced occurred when I was a marketing and sales support person. My manager at the time had been brought in from the field to move up in the organization. He had been a manager out in the field and had now been put in this managerial position at the HQ location.

I had been managing marketing programs, providing reporting to marketing managers, handling sales needs, and a whole host of other responsibilities. My manager did not fully grasp all that I was handling, which became fully evident during my performance review.

During the performance review, in talking through things, he made this comment, "Let's face it, Dianne, anyone can do what you do." Wow, what a blow. In one brief sentence, he devalued me, my contributions, and everything I brought to the table.

Shortly after, an opportunity arose for me to interview for a position in a different division. I interviewed and got the job. Some months later, I saw the previous manager in the hallway, and he stopped to see how I was doing. It was then he made another remarkable comment. He said, "We REALLY miss you." I learned he had to put 3 people in place to handle everything I had been doing.

Well, that sure was something.

So, what did I learn from that experience?

I learned that not everyone will understand my abilities, proficiencies, efficiencies, and expertise, so it is my responsibility to help them see and know them. How I go about doing that depends on the people, the project(s), and the environment involved. I don't believe walking around bragging all the time would help, but there are more subtle yet impactful ways of sharing about your successes and abilities.

In addition, I learned that I needed to manage my manager. Learning my manager's style, how they like to work, what they value in their direct reports, how they need and want to receive communications, and what helps them understand what I bring to the table were all components of managing my manager.

As I continued in my career path in that company and those that followed, I grew in my ability to understand my manager, so he understood and valued me successfully. In my last two companies, with the last couple of managers that I had before I began my own business, I had such great relationships with them that involved great trust. These managers knew my abilities and my integrity. They depended on me, knowing that when I was given a project or task, they did not have to be concerned about its on-time and on-target completion.

My encouraging words to those of you who may be struggling in your job feeling unappreciated and unvalued: get to know your manager's style. Find out how they want to know about your successes and work approach. Be confident in your abilities and let them shine in a way that others will see them.