How I Ended Up Becoming a Mindset Coach for Entrepreneurs & Creatives

TL;DR

Coaching saved me and categorically changed the course of my future.

Now I want to help others with the skills and tools I've amassed through the process.

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After my startup ended, I found myself completely burned out, uninterested in business or work at all. I was on the verge of going to live on a farm and completely rejecting the modern/capitalist lifestyle. (I always knew I was a hippie deep down). Instead of that, I ended up taking a 6-month sabbatical to get to know myself and to work on bettering myself. I did this thoroughly and dissected my life like a detective, leaving no stone unturned. This was an incredibly painful process which I won't get into now, but through it, I discovered my love and passion for personal transformation. I went through many of my own over the last few years, including some extreme versions like; addiction recovery, going off hundreds of mg of chronic medication, and completely revamping my mindset on life. And I couldn't do all of these things without the help of my trusted coaches.

I never thought I would eventually become a coach myself, mainly because of my extremely direct style and to be honest, I didn't see the economics making sense. However, both of these supposed disadvantages were ultimately to my (and my client's) benefit. It turns out, most coaches are quite soft in their style and some people appreciate and greatly benefit from a direct, no-b*llshit approach. And being that I coach on a limited basis, I get to continue building businesses I'm passionate about while being extremely selective of who I work with, which ends up benefiting everyone.

Finding work that you love

One of the many beliefs I worked on changing, was the all too common "work is not supposed to be fun", leading me to believe that the "do what you love" people are either living in la la land, or broke, or both. However, it turns out they were onto something. After getting to know myself very deeply, I now understand that the work I do needs to be meaningful, it needs to fulfil me - that's just how I'm wired. I need to feel like I am helping to change people's lives. For some reason, and I have not pinpointed exactly why it is yet, I am simply not motivated enough by money alone to pursue financial ventures for the purpose of high returns. I need more depth and substance to find fulfilment in my work and life, and I have (unsurprisingly) found it much more fulfilling to help people versus helping businesses. Particularly working with people on a deeper and more honest level than one would ever in a B2B scenario. Lastly, and perhaps somewhat selfishly, I am converting my years of anguish and despair into solutions for others - I am quite literally creating a sense of meaning from my suffering.

My fascination with the mind

I came across an interesting journalling prompt a few years ago and it was something like: "Is there a common theme of the last 10 books you read?" Turns out 9/10 were related to neuroscience, habits, the subconscious etc etc. What did that tell me? Well, quite simply I have been fascinated by the mind and by anthropology for some time now (no wonder my ex kept asking me to stop psychoanalyzing her!). Afterall I did build my company on the basis of behavior science, a field I have been studying for years. For a non-academic like myself, the 'studying' for my coaching courses was the first time I had to prepare for exams without feeling the heavy burden and anxiety that studying usually gave me. This was a sign, I finally found something I enjoy, and I am good at it!

Why the focus on mindset and wellbeing?

Throughout my life journey, my mind has been my greatest friend as well as my greatest foe. It has helped me to achieve my goals and to do things and go places I wanted to. But the flip side of having an overly active and sometimes stubborn mind - is that it can hold you back tremendously when it gets a grip over you. It can slowly destroy your life, through the various stories it spins up and the behavior it subtly instigates. Since 2012 I have been experimenting with various mind-based modalities, however, it was only 2.5 years ago that I realized - I needed to get out of the mind completely in order to become its master and not its slave.

Around the same time I decided to categorically take my health into my own hands after being heavily medicated/sedated by Doctors for 12 years. Which unsurprisingly sapped my energy, my creativity, and took much of the joy out of life. So I went on a journey of experimentation (and pain), which helped me to arrive at a point of incredible energy and vitality (without the need for coffee, energy drinks, or stimulants). The results of my lifestyle changes blew my mind (and my body) to feel what I was told I could never feel again - truly alive and kicking, and without heaps of medication.

Why Creatives & Entrepenuers?

Although I will work with people are ambitious and ready for change, these are the people I know and relate to more than anyone else. Because I am them. We share the same make-up. I can relate to their struggles and battles, and often they are the same ones found amongst these wonderful archetypes. I respect their missions of creation, and I feel a sense of pride when I get the chance to enhance their lives in some way, thereby making their journey a smoother one.

The miracle of personal growth

I found a fire inside me that I never felt since I was a child writing screenplays or rap music (yes, this little Jewboy wrote some hardcore raps). That fire is sparked the minute I witness an individual decide to take agency for their life. It starts in one area and then it spreads, and within a year or two - that person is a completely different human and a completely happier one. And nothing, absolutely nothing - gives me more joy and fulfilment than seeing this process envelop, let alone be a part of it.

Coaching forced me to grow

Many people think (true) coaching is easy and anyone can do it. However, the reality is that over 90% of people who take a coaching course don't end up coaching as their career. For me, the coaching part came naturally to me, but the listening part did not. The ability to sit and listen to someone tell you something you know may be a completely fictional concotion, and instead of responding with a comment or your version of the right answer, you have to be curious, be open to that person being right in their thinking. You are forced to develop empathy. As someone who used to be quite impulsive and judgemental, this was initially a great challenge for me. Now, I am sure it has and continues to make me a better, and more understanding person. An adjective, many people would never have used in the past when describing me.

Coaching is not consulting or mentoring, it is a wonderful process, a dance perhaps, whereby the coach and the client play a game of internal discovery - illiciting the clarity needed for the right answer to arrive in the client's psyche at the right time. It is an art and a science. And it is an honour to participate in the dance.

If you want to dance...apply here.

For those of you new to coaching, I wrote an article describing what it is and what it is not here: https://bency-goldman.medium.com/the-difference-between-coaching-and-therapy-d42dfca174d5