How I embraced the bipolar life

After having spent ten years as a person diagnosed with bipolar 1 (the most severe form of the condition), I think I can confidently say that I know this condition fairly well.

The first time I was told of this diagnosis, the psychiatrist explained that it is present in 2% of the world’s population across geographies, cultures, gender, caste and creed. He further said that the only route to thrive was to be on medication lifelong and get a job and involve oneself in a relationship. This made very little sense to the 29-year-old in me.

My first reaction was disbelief coupled with anger: How could this happen to me? I had after all ran in multiple half marathons and my weight was well under control.

My second reaction was to tap the researcher in me and do some investigations. One of the first things which caught my eye was that from the numerous tests done on me when I had my one and only major manic attack, I was at a low vitamin B12 count even for India where the threshold is far lower than even of Japan. A low vitamin B12 count leads to a poor nervous system and hallucinations.

When I pointed the low B12 count to my psychiatrist and explained that I had been on a vegan diet for the past year and half, he agreed that the diet may have resulted in the low B12 count. I immediately started taking the B12 supplements he advised and also started eating meat and dairy products. Within a few months, my B12 count had doubled and I was feeling healthier.

However, the initial psychiatrists I consulted in Kolkata were all wary of a relapse and hence they overmedicated me with mood stabilizers. I was popping pills every morning and night. As a result, I felt drowsy through the day and my mental faculties were nowhere near as sharp as I needed them to be in order to feel healthy and productive.

The only way out was to find the right psychiatrist for this condition for which there is actually very little research available in the modern age. Also, the unusual aspect of my situation was that apart from feeling sleepy and drowsy because of the medication, I had never actually been depressed. This was quite strange since bipolar by its terminology itself implies that you sway between the extremes of high and low energy.

My experience has made me wonder whether the medical community is even anywhere close to the mark in terms of how medications need to be prescribed to bipolar people.

Anyhow, through a personal reference, I consulted Dr Saikat Basu in Kolkata who heard me out patiently and changed my medication regime. I have been consulting him for four years now and his empathetic and gentlemanly behavior has at some level restored my faith in the medical community.

I also underwent 8-10 sessions of therapy with a Mumbai based counsellor called Pooja Padhe and this helped me to no end. She helped me realize that my journey as a creative, ambitious and goal-oriented person had not been derailed. All I needed to do was to pick up from where I left off when it came to my goals and the scale of my ideas.

These experiences have brought me back on track in a sense. I have also realized that the key to not just survive but thrive with bipolar is physical health and self-awareness of one’s mind and thoughts.

You cannot rely on medication alone to sail your boat. You have to manage your diet, interact with like-minded people and be involved in productive work. While a desk job at an office has never appealed to me, I do have the opportunity of working remotely with a firm from next month. Else, I have decided to start my own qualitative research consultancy and have begun the process of building connections in Kolkata.

While I am yet to experience depression as it is commonly known, I have experienced mania on multiple occasions. There is a surge of energy within you which you need to channelize through mental or physical activities. If you can find an empathetic partner and a stable career then nothing like it. I don’t have either at this point in time but there are chances of both coming in soon.

The key to one’s mental health lies on what’s on your plate when you eat.

So, how have I embraced the bipolar life and what does food have to do with it?

I have read a lot about nutrition and how various food groups affect the mind. I grew up eggetarian and started eating meat in college and in my early working years before I turned vegan and gluten-free for a couple of years. Now, I realize the importance of eating meat because of the critical nutrients it provides for mood, mental stability and creativity.

When it comes to diet, I have realized that meat is a great supplier of energy perhaps because it taps into our primal hunter-gatherer instincts. I do feel a rush of energy if I don’t combine meat with carbs. I usually do so at lunch so that I could channelize my energies into work or at the gym in the evening. I like to eat a paneer or masala dosa or a cheese omelet in the evening so that I can calm my mind. Dinner is pure vegetarian since I eat this at home and my folks are vegetarian. However, if I’m not getting sleep then I do eat something sweet in moderation so that my mind feels drowsy. ?

I love my mind and wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. If bipolar is part of my journey so be it.

The only precautions I need to take is to balance nutrients, mix animal proteins with carbs, stay off drugs and have a regular sleeping routine. And of course, meds as prescribed by Dr Saikat Basu.

I would argue that the points mentioned in the daily precautions are things any person should do regardless of them being bipolar.

Since we all have our addictions, substances we partake, excessive food habits and late nights munching on junk; I would say that we are all bipolar in some form or the other.

Remember, 2% of the world’s population is diagnosed bipolar. What about the remaining 90% or so who are roaming around directionless and chained to their addictions, substances or gadgets?