How I Discovered The Importance of Having a Better Relationship With Myself

I remember in March, when the quarantining had just started, I was thinking about how I'd finally have all this time for self-care (ha!). I even wrote out my own badass plan: Wake up, make breakfast for the fam, have a cup of coffee with your hubby before he goes off to work (his job fell under essential work), exercise, work for 3 hours, take lunch with the girls (who were home too, either schooling or working), go back to work for 3 hours, cook dinner, have dinner with the fam, work for a few more hours, shower, and read before going to bed (if you have the energy for it). 

Then, I realized that this badass plan I created was one I was already used to, one that gets shit done… but unfortunately, also one in which I have no time for myself. As a result, my plan to focus on me was failing. In 2020, I discovered that I actually didn’t know how to create time for myself anymore! And I needed to rewire that in my brain.

I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister and, much like 'Hana' in our upcoming film, Severed Silence, realized that I was working overtime to tend to each relationship impeccably. In the process, I neglected the most important relationship of all: the one with myself. Hana might have some difficulties breaking free, but I am choosing to do better. 

The truth is, there is a lot I want to accomplish, but - as many of you ladies understand, some of these "wants" have to be sacrificed in order to maintain a badass career. I did, however, make an agreement with myself: start with what’s most important & carve out thirty minutes a day for it. Well, spirituality is the most important thing to me and I felt it needed more attention. So I decided to start there, by carving out time to learn more about the matters of the spirit, heart & soul every day... and it has made me better in every other aspect of my life. 

While I’m still finding the time to squeeze in those girly, self-care things that I enjoy so much, for now, this is a great start. I'm grateful to 2020 for making me realize that daily time for myself is essential, even if I just start with those beautiful 30 minutes. ~Beta