How I dated my community to find my people, and WHY you should do it too!

Four years ago, I was at the beginning of a journey. I was starting my new life as a single mom and launching a brand-new coaching business.??It was a clean slate for my life and a new opportunity to build my community.

After leaving a corporate job where I traveled extensively, I realized I did not have a network in my hometown. I knew that to grow my business and be successful, I needed to discover the right connections that would feed into and support my dreams.?

As a strategist, I made a list of what I needed to accomplish from my connections and the types of connections I needed to make. I then sourced a list of organizations in my community and established a budget as to what I could spend in fees. I soon discovered that every organization usually offered one to two meeting visits before you had to make a commitment.

That is when I embraced the idea that I would “date by community”.

While not having dated in almost 20 years, I reached back and remembered what it had been like. Knowing what I was looking for a in partner; trying to figure out where that person might be; planning and practicing my introduction; going out on 1 or 2 dates before deciding if it was someone I wanted to keep seeing.

The actions and steps were very similar, and the importance of finding the “right one” was just as critical to my future as if I was finding the perfect life partner.

I spent almost three months “dating” the organizations in my area. I drove as far as an hour to some meetings, and as close as up the street for others. I looked at chambers, networking, women’s, moms, everything I could think of. I attended luncheons, conventions, workshops, and evening events.?

In the end, I settled on two groups and made a one-year commitment to each. I put all my energy into my success with those two organizations. And I didn’t stop there. I spent time creating individual relationships with other members. I left nothing to chance.

Here is what I learned and what I share to anyone else that decides to date your community:

1. Remember organizations are courting you too!?Never forget that any organization that has a membership fee, wants you to join. Just as in dating, they will show up with opportunities, gifts, or other ways to “attract” you.?

So, what do you do to get to know the “real” them??

• Meet a member at an event and ask to have coffee with them outside of the organization. Ask them about how long they have been a member, their ROI, and why they are still a member.
• Ask the organization if they have an onboarding system. You want to know what they do to help you after you agree to join. Make sure they help you learn to navigate the organization.

2. Do your research!?Back in my youth, dating research included asking around about someone that you were interested in. Today, you Google them. Research the organization; see where they come up in the news. What are they posting on social media? What are members saying about them?

You want to know as much as you can before you get to the meeting or even commit to that first registration. Just as with a first date, you will be making an investment of your time and attendance cost, so you want to make sure they are worth the first date.

3. Be ready to either make a commitment or to move on.?Just as when dating someone, you need to be ready when it’s time to commit. Most organizations offer only one to two visits before you must decide. Never be embarrassed if an organization is not the right fit. Remember, they are wanting the same thing – a partnership that will be successful for both sides. When you do find an organization that hits all the needs and wants, fully commit. Success will only come when you are willing to put in the work. Now where have you heard that before?!?

So, how are my initial relationships going four years post commitment? As with any relationship, they have evolved. I am still a member of one of the original two, and amicably ended my membership with the other due to scheduling conflicts.

I have also grown and expanded the types of organizations I have joined to fulfill my need for volunteer service and time with my daughter.

Each relationship I form with the chosen organization is special and the right one for where I am in my business and life. I continue to commit fully to the success of both parties, and now bring others into the groups I am highly passionate about.

Yes. Dating my community was and continues to be one of the best decisions I ever made and why you should consider doing it too.?

Looking for your next steps? I help women connect to their WHY, so they can contribute their gifts, and create the cash flow they desire through starting and growing a business.

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