How I built a sense of belonging in exercise
I heard Owen Eastwood speak recently. He’s a Performance Coach and has written a book about Belonging. Read it, it’s brilliant. He works with sports teams across the globe to improve their performance. He talks about the power of belonging as part of this process.
It struck me recently, as I stood in a giant mirrored hall, sweating away, ready to lift a big weight over my head 20 times in a minute, that somehow…I had built a sense of belonging in the world of sport…well, exercise at least.
The Flailing years
Growth…belonging
I finally started working through my body issues a few years ago, thanks to the Body Positivity movement. I reflected on what my body had done for me over the years, how strong it has had to be at times and the idea that perhaps, I could stop punishing it and instead treat it kindly. I considered the idea that exercise could be a gift I gave to myself, if I really thought about the kid of exercise I wanted to do.
I signed up to a Zumba class where I found joy in dancing and moving my body to music. The Zumba teacher’s recognised and celebrated this joy, no matter how confused my movements were. I revelled in becoming the ‘woman at the back of the class who had no idea what she was doing, but had a brilliant time doing so’.
I combined yoga with meditation, stengthening and resting both my body and mind. Rhianwen, the woman running one of these classes also solidified my belief that all yoga teaching should be done with an Australian accent.
And then, a chance encounter with my kid’s nursery teacher led me to sign up to The Bluetits, groups of (mostly, but it’s entirely inclusive) women across the country, teaming up to swim in lakes, rivers and the sea. They gave me a badge on my first swim.
Owen Eastwood talks about the power of telling someone ‘You belong here’. He has used this approach with some of the top sports teams across the world. And it was very powerful - even the name ‘Bluetits’ it’s funny and makes me feel good every time I tell someone that I am one.
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The regularity of swimming once a week, chatting with my fellow Bluetits, about life, cake, the weather and wild swimming kit is a powerful one. My body feels strong when I swim outdoors and feel connected to the world in a way that I’ve never experienced below.
The final leap into ‘peak lycra’
Finally, I did something really scary. I signed up to a Bodypump class. This is about as far away from my comfort zone as I could imagine. Lifting heavy weights, repetitively, in public. Rhianwen was my way in. She taught a class in my gym, through yoga, I already knew I could trust her. I felt little to no fear that I would be shown up for the inadequate gym-goer I felt I was and her classes always made me feel strong. So I picked up the weights, I did the lunges (not always in time to the music) and…realised I was having fun. Even when I’m standing there, sweating, surrounded my mirrored walls and images of people that do not look like me, I feel like I belong in that class.
And that was when I created my criteria for exercise. I’m fully bought into the benefits: the mental health boost, the endorphins, the feeling my body gets when it’s moved, and I’m open to increasingly new ways of doing this, but any exercise I will entertain doing regularly, must:
Pretty much all exercise is good for your body, right? But it’s not all good for your mind. Not all exercise needs to make me cackle, and sometimes, it’s on me to shift my mindset, but I’ve found a happy place in exercise now and I’m not about to lose it by doing something that makes me feel miserable. So, thank you to the people who made me feel like I belong here and thank you to myself for loosening the chains on myself, my body and my boundaries.
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???? What am I dancing to? This samba version of ‘Lovely Day’ by Bill Withers. My five-year-old is singing the original as one of her assembly songs at school which is everything.
Marketing and Communications Manager at Oxford University Press
3 个月So pleased to hear that you have found joy amd strength in exercise and classes where you feel you belong. I love thr mixture of working with a community of friends and then also for myself x
Executive Leader with strategic, operational and commercial acumen | Charitable, Not-for-Profit and Culture | Talent Leadership | Revenue Growth and Fundraising | Organisational Agility | Brand building | Transformation
3 个月Finding a community of women who encourage each other to be strong - physically as well as emotionally - and feel joy while doing so is a game changer. So important for the next generation too! Suzanne Keatley is a great thinker and doer in this space
Google Certified Project Manager|| Agile and Software Product Manager|| Sustainable Development Goal 8 & 11|| Helping Coaches take their businesses to the next level through actionable recommendations.
3 个月Awesome. Emma Duke Let's connect
Creativity-driven Communications leader delivering reputational success with thriving, strategic teams | Trustee & Board Member | Mentor | Artist & Writer |
3 个月Great piece, and have had a similar journey in my relationship with PE/exercise. Now an out-and-out gym member at a local, family-run gym, and I LOVE IT. X
Coach | Engagement Strategist | Interdisciplinary Practice | Vice Chair ETT
3 个月Love your strength and joy X